Is taking off a childs clothes to spank sexual abuse.

shoreline · 07-02-2009, 08:47 AM

I know this subject may make some readers uncomfortable. It is not my intention to step on any toes. I realize many people still spank their children in this day and age and I'm betting many do not. I'm also guessing that there are those who do pull down a child's underwear and spank the bared buttocks of their child. I'm not judging anyone. I am concerned though that spanking a child's bared body may be considered sexual . I myself was spanked many times as a youngster from 7 to 11 and I had all of my clothes removed for the punishment.I was then placed over the caretakers lap and repeatedly smacked with an open hand for what I would say was 2 or 3 minutes. I would like to ask....do you think that a child ,wearing no clothing, laying on an adults unclothed lap and spanked would be considered a sexual. I realize it was very common in the "good old days" but attitudes are changing. Do any parents still practice this, what are your thoughts? A child of 11 can have sexual reactions when spanked this way and this is not just something that I read.

theshoefairy · 07-02-2009, 08:57 AM

When you say laying on an adults unclothed lap what do you mean?

d24 · 07-02-2009, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoreline

I had all of my clothes removed for the punishment.I was then placed over the caretakers lap and repeatedly smacked with an open hand for what I would say was 2 or 3 minutes.

weird.
wrong.
not normal.

not sexual, but it's something a psychologist would have an absolute field day over! 3 minutes?! are you kidding me?!

there's no need to remove a child's pants to spank them unless the aim is to purposefully intend sustained physical harm. GBH anyone?

amipushy · 07-02-2009, 09:20 AM

My own moral judgement and every fibre in my bones after doing child protection training tells me that yes this is sexual abuse. Degradation, subjugation and humilation of this type is child abuse in any case, whether it is sexual or not.

odile · 07-02-2009, 09:20 AM

I'm not sure what you mean by "sexual reactions"...

What I do know, though, is that spanking is very degrading.
If you add in the nakedness, the element of shame is increased.

When one is taught that such violence is deserved, and 'for their own good', they begin to learn to accept harm as an appropriate display of love.

So, it seems to me that people who as children are subjected to violence by those that they love and trust as that more susceptible to becoming adults that either feel that it's okay to hurt those that we care about, or adults that see any harm done to them as acceptable, deserved, or in extremes-- violence as an expression of love.

This leaves such people that much more inclined towards romantic or sexual relationships which are defined by power plays; whether it be in a controlled way, such as S&M, or in an undeniably healthy way, such as in abusive relationships.

Teaching a lesson such as this to a child is abuse of someone who is most vulnerable to it, and who will in many cases feel the sting long after the original sin has been forgotten.

Cognitive_Canine · 07-02-2009, 09:22 AM

I think 7 to 11 is far too old of an age to be spanked.

It is also far too old of an age to be forced to take all your clothes off.

I don't know if this is "sexual". That really depends on the intention of the spanker.

However, I do agree that this can lead to long term psychological problems with the child. Such as, not feeling comfortable with taking your clothes off. As being naked was a punishment.

Seymore · 07-02-2009, 09:25 AM

I don't find anything wrong with spanking (though 7-11 is a little too old), but I don't understand why the clothes have to come off.

More kids could use a spanking in this day and age.

shoreline · 07-02-2009, 09:25 AM

An adults unclothed lap refers to the adult wearing shorts thus having bare legs. An unclothed lap also refers to the lap of an adult that is wearing a skirt or dress and purposely pulls the skirt or dress in towards themself before placing the child on top of that JUST bared lap. This can also occur if the adult is wearing night clothes as in a nightie. This leaves the naked body of the child(including genitals) in direct contact with that adults skin(lap).

alli · 07-02-2009, 09:35 AM

I don't think that would be sexual abuse, but it really depends on the adult's intentions. I'm not sure why that person would pull their skirt/dress in towards themselves.. be it an unconcious move or because they get "turned on" by the child touching their skin. I think it depends on the adult's other behaviors and if they are also questionable. If the extent of the adult's wierdness is naked spankings and did not involve the child naked at other inappropriate times nor touching the child, I wouldn't necessarily call it sexual abuse.

Just because the child is naked does not equate sexual abuse. For example, you would never consider a parent washing their naked toddler in the tub abuse just because the kid is naked.

But in this case, 11 years old is WAY to old for a spanking, much less a naked one. I could see this being a humiliation technique, which could be considered abuse, though may not be sexual abuse. Doing that to an 11 year old is definitely not okay.

Dragunov-21 · 07-02-2009, 09:37 AM

Spanking as a short sharp shock can be effective, and is generally acceptable - spanking for three minutes is just... excessive, IMO.

As far as smacking a naked child on a naked(or partially) adult's lap, it may not be sexual abuse, but the fact remains that I would find it necessary to question as to why the adult was naked.

07-02-2009, 08:47 AM	#1
shoreline Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 31	Is taking off a childs clothes to spank sexual abuse. I know this subject may make some readers uncomfortable. It is not my intention to step on any toes. I realize many people still spank their children in this day and age and I'm betting many do not. I'm also guessing that there are those who do pull down a child's underwear and spank the bared buttocks of their child. I'm not judging anyone. I am concerned though that spanking a child's bared body may be considered sexual . I myself was spanked many times as a youngster from 7 to 11 and I had all of my clothes removed for the punishment.I was then placed over the caretakers lap and repeatedly smacked with an open hand for what I would say was 2 or 3 minutes. I would like to ask....do you think that a child ,wearing no clothing, laying on an adults unclothed lap and spanked would be considered a sexual. I realize it was very common in the "good old days" but attitudes are changing. Do any parents still practice this, what are your thoughts? A child of 11 can have sexual reactions when spanked this way and this is not just something that I read.

07-02-2009, 09:25 AM	#7
Seymore Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 2,403	I don't find anything wrong with spanking (though 7-11 is a little too old), but I don't understand why the clothes have to come off. More kids could use a spanking in this day and age. __________________ I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.

07-02-2009, 09:37 AM	#10
Dragunov-21 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 1,203	Spanking as a short sharp shock can be effective, and is generally acceptable - spanking for three minutes is just... excessive, IMO. As far as smacking a naked child on a naked(or partially) adult's lap, it may not be sexual abuse, but the fact remains that I would find it necessary to question as to why the adult was naked. __________________ <Lee> "You're so cute it makes me wanna barf out sparkles." <Lee> "Ok, first of all, my boobs are epic." <Lee> "It looks like I'm lactating!" ~it happened before, it's still happening - god but it hurts so good~

07-02-2009, 08:57 AM	#2
theshoefairy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,694	When you say laying on an adults unclothed lap what do you mean?

07-02-2009, 09:20 AM	#4
amipushy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 1,823	My own moral judgement and every fibre in my bones after doing child protection training tells me that yes this is sexual abuse. Degradation, subjugation and humilation of this type is child abuse in any case, whether it is sexual or not.

07-02-2009, 09:20 AM	#5
odile Offline Gold Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 962	I'm not sure what you mean by "sexual reactions"... What I do know, though, is that spanking is very degrading. If you add in the nakedness, the element of shame is increased. When one is taught that such violence is deserved, and 'for their own good', they begin to learn to accept harm as an appropriate display of love. So, it seems to me that people who as children are subjected to violence by those that they love and trust as that more susceptible to becoming adults that either feel that it's okay to hurt those that we care about, or adults that see any harm done to them as acceptable, deserved, or in extremes-- violence as an expression of love. This leaves such people that much more inclined towards romantic or sexual relationships which are defined by power plays; whether it be in a controlled way, such as S&M, or in an undeniably healthy way, such as in abusive relationships. Teaching a lesson such as this to a child is abuse of someone who is most vulnerable to it, and who will in many cases feel the sting long after the original sin has been forgotten.

07-02-2009, 09:22 AM	#6
Cognitive_Canine Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Gender: Female Posts: 11,326	I think 7 to 11 is far too old of an age to be spanked. It is also far too old of an age to be forced to take all your clothes off. I don't know if this is "sexual". That really depends on the intention of the spanker. However, I do agree that this can lead to long term psychological problems with the child. Such as, not feeling comfortable with taking your clothes off. As being naked was a punishment.

07-02-2009, 09:35 AM	#9
alli Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 2,359	I don't think that would be sexual abuse, but it really depends on the adult's intentions. I'm not sure why that person would pull their skirt/dress in towards themselves.. be it an unconcious move or because they get "turned on" by the child touching their skin. I think it depends on the adult's other behaviors and if they are also questionable. If the extent of the adult's wierdness is naked spankings and did not involve the child naked at other inappropriate times nor touching the child, I wouldn't necessarily call it sexual abuse. Just because the child is naked does not equate sexual abuse. For example, you would never consider a parent washing their naked toddler in the tub abuse just because the kid is naked. But in this case, 11 years old is WAY to old for a spanking, much less a naked one. I could see this being a humiliation technique, which could be considered abuse, though may not be sexual abuse. Doing that to an 11 year old is definitely not okay.