my exes dad has cancer

sweetharmony · 06-29-2009, 01:54 AM

Hi, my ex and I broke up twice in the past four months. It has not been working out and has been so painful and devastating. He has been leaning on me as a crutch, still confused/ambivalent, etc. but yet he doesn't want to let go. He remains on the dating site where we met and I finally gave him an ultimatum monday that it was enough. if the dating site is more impt. than we can't be. it's obv that he's keeping me until he finds another b/c of history and he doesn't want to be alone. it is just painful and my dignity is suffering.

he almost chose the dating site over me but asked for just more time. I was just about at the end of my rope. enough is enough and i need to move on. .

the next day, his dad is diagnosed with brain cancer. it is just so awful and I can't even imagine what he is going through. all his family is in town and he's just awful. it's just heartbreaking.

since we are not together, we are not really getting together (trying to move forward) understandably. he calls every day, but i don't even know the boundaries, b/c i can't even be there with him to support him or his family as they don't even know we were trying to work on things. his ex wife even came over to see his dad and is also supporting him.

I am heartbroken over this and what he's going through. of course I am there and not even bringing up our relationship or the fact that we will not even see one another for over the next month at all. he just needs my support right now. yet, i haven't even begun to heal over our breakup.

i feel so awkward. i don't even know what we are and i am going through my own crap now (which doesn't compare to what he's going through) and i feel just narcisstic if I just pull away. i don't even know what to do but i just can't move on or move forward.

how can i be there for him and yet move on? he calls every day and wants to talk so I can't abandon him now.

06-29-2009, 01:54 AM	#1
sweetharmony Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: New York Gender: Female Age: 31 Posts: 726	my exes dad has cancer Hi, my ex and I broke up twice in the past four months. It has not been working out and has been so painful and devastating. He has been leaning on me as a crutch, still confused/ambivalent, etc. but yet he doesn't want to let go. He remains on the dating site where we met and I finally gave him an ultimatum monday that it was enough. if the dating site is more impt. than we can't be. it's obv that he's keeping me until he finds another b/c of history and he doesn't want to be alone. it is just painful and my dignity is suffering. he almost chose the dating site over me but asked for just more time. I was just about at the end of my rope. enough is enough and i need to move on. . the next day, his dad is diagnosed with brain cancer. it is just so awful and I can't even imagine what he is going through. all his family is in town and he's just awful. it's just heartbreaking. since we are not together, we are not really getting together (trying to move forward) understandably. he calls every day, but i don't even know the boundaries, b/c i can't even be there with him to support him or his family as they don't even know we were trying to work on things. his ex wife even came over to see his dad and is also supporting him. I am heartbroken over this and what he's going through. of course I am there and not even bringing up our relationship or the fact that we will not even see one another for over the next month at all. he just needs my support right now. yet, i haven't even begun to heal over our breakup. i feel so awkward. i don't even know what we are and i am going through my own crap now (which doesn't compare to what he's going through) and i feel just narcisstic if I just pull away. i don't even know what to do but i just can't move on or move forward. how can i be there for him and yet move on? he calls every day and wants to talk so I can't abandon him now. __________________ "through a glass darkly"