Self esteem issues..

melanie6929 · 06-28-2009, 02:16 PM

How can I start believing my boyfriend when he says nice things about me? I don't know what my problem is. Why my self esteem is so low..

He tells me I'm beautiful and sexy often..I just get this sick feeling like he's lying. Probably because I don't think I am. It gets really frustrating. Why can't I just believe him?

Or like.. tonight he said he loves me so much that even when he's drunk, he doesn't notice other females.( he was at the bar) That made me smile, but then it turned into me thinking he's just saying that. I asked,"What about when you are sober?" He said he doesn't notice them either. Guys look at other girls. And btw, no he's not an alcoholic, he hardly drinks, just occasionally. :P

How can I overcome this? I love him a lot and I would be so much happier if I would have confidence in myself and in him when he says nice things to me. I have a feeling this is going to make our relationship spiral downhill if I don't change this..I'm never completely happy about our relationship, because of my self esteem, ugh.

wazza · 06-28-2009, 02:37 PM

I really don't know how to tell you to fix this...but i'll tell you everything i can from a guys perspective.

1: From my experience, I really can't tell someone that they're attractive unless I truly believe it. No guy is just gonna blurt out "god you're hot" or "I love you" unless he really feels it (or if he's trying to pick you up, but clearly that is not the case cause you are in a relationship together). Whenever I've told a girl i was with that I thought she was beautiful, hot, sexy, whatever, it came straight from the hear, or from a hot passionate urge that I couldn't hold back. I've been with girls that weren't conventionally beautiful, but who I thought were the most beautiful girls in the whole wide world. And when their beauty really caught my attention, I would tell them. Therefore, as a guy, I have to believe that your boyfriend is telling you the truth.

2: Guys hate girls who have such low self esteem. We hate when we tell a girl "you're beautiful" and she says "no i'm not" or "but i'm so fat" or other such denials. We hate it. We don't want you to be like "oh I know", or "yup". But we tell you you're beautiful because we want you to know that you are, or at least that you are in our eyes (which is really what's important right?)

MatthewS · 06-28-2009, 02:39 PM

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

That about sums my feeling on the matter up.. Maybe it'll make ya laugh.

- Matt

Southern · 06-28-2009, 04:01 PM

I'm that way, to an extent. I used to have it just as badly as you do with the self esteem issues. What I did to make it better was just a lot of "soul searching." I just took time off from dated and I got to know the real Southern and what she's all about. I'm a little better now, but I still have a lot of the same problems as you.

It's just a matter of learning to like yourself. And why shouldn't you? You're so beautiful and sexy! (your man is not lying)

Chin up, you're a great girl. Just give yourself a chance to see it too

06-28-2009, 02:16 PM	#1
melanie6929 Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: California Gender: Female Posts: 66	Self esteem issues.. How can I start believing my boyfriend when he says nice things about me? I don't know what my problem is. Why my self esteem is so low.. He tells me I'm beautiful and sexy often..I just get this sick feeling like he's lying. Probably because I don't think I am. It gets really frustrating. Why can't I just believe him? Or like.. tonight he said he loves me so much that even when he's drunk, he doesn't notice other females.( he was at the bar) That made me smile, but then it turned into me thinking he's just saying that. I asked,"What about when you are sober?" He said he doesn't notice them either. Guys look at other girls. And btw, no he's not an alcoholic, he hardly drinks, just occasionally. :P How can I overcome this? I love him a lot and I would be so much happier if I would have confidence in myself and in him when he says nice things to me. I have a feeling this is going to make our relationship spiral downhill if I don't change this..I'm never completely happy about our relationship, because of my self esteem, ugh.

06-28-2009, 02:39 PM	#3
MatthewS Offline Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Gender: Male Age: 32 Posts: 44	[Only registered and activated users can see links. ] That about sums my feeling on the matter up.. Maybe it'll make ya laugh. - Matt __________________ This space is intentionally left blank..

06-28-2009, 04:01 PM	#4
Southern Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 1,231	I'm that way, to an extent. I used to have it just as badly as you do with the self esteem issues. What I did to make it better was just a lot of "soul searching." I just took time off from dated and I got to know the real Southern and what she's all about. I'm a little better now, but I still have a lot of the same problems as you. It's just a matter of learning to like yourself. And why shouldn't you? You're so beautiful and sexy! (your man is not lying) Chin up, you're a great girl. Just give yourself a chance to see it too __________________ "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

06-28-2009, 02:37 PM	#2
wazza Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 246	I really don't know how to tell you to fix this...but i'll tell you everything i can from a guys perspective. 1: From my experience, I really can't tell someone that they're attractive unless I truly believe it. No guy is just gonna blurt out "god you're hot" or "I love you" unless he really feels it (or if he's trying to pick you up, but clearly that is not the case cause you are in a relationship together). Whenever I've told a girl i was with that I thought she was beautiful, hot, sexy, whatever, it came straight from the hear, or from a hot passionate urge that I couldn't hold back. I've been with girls that weren't conventionally beautiful, but who I thought were the most beautiful girls in the whole wide world. And when their beauty really caught my attention, I would tell them. Therefore, as a guy, I have to believe that your boyfriend is telling you the truth. 2: Guys hate girls who have such low self esteem. We hate when we tell a girl "you're beautiful" and she says "no i'm not" or "but i'm so fat" or other such denials. We hate it. We don't want you to be like "oh I know", or "yup". But we tell you you're beautiful because we want you to know that you are, or at least that you are in our eyes (which is really what's important right?)