How many friendships will I destroy through alcohol, before I learn?

iamtrying · 06-10-2009, 07:58 AM

Hi everyone, hope you are all great!

I have a problem with alcohol. The problem isnt that I drink too much, or even often (once a month or so). But when I do drink, I turn into a completely insane embarrassing crazy nut job. Its really bad. And I cant control it.

Ive tried to limit how much I drink, but that doesnt work once I start to drink. I just drink til I pass out and I cannot control much of what I do.

Ive tried to control myself and what I say when Ive drunk too much, but that doesnt work either.

I think that the only option left is that i can never drink again. For the rest of my life. I really dont see any other way to stop my insanse freak behaviour when I drink (too much).

Im really hurt right now. I feel very sad. I feel this way because Ive completely destroyed three (almost four) friendships with three different people Ive really liked and cared for.

I drank with them for the confidence boost. Because I am nervous around them. I kind of have a crush on them. Anyway I know I shouldnt drink for confidence. But its not just that. You know, its a socializing thing people do when they go out. Anyway basically two drinks isnt enough for me, not five drinks, not ten drinks sometimes. I just cannot control my alcohol intake once i start to drink. I just cant. So ive gone out to places with these three different people at different times. And Ive drank too much. And basically I just insult them harshly, I make really innappropiate comments and do innappropriate things, I say things that i should be locked up in a crazy mental ward for - just really really strange things, and basically I just turn into some sort of monster..

Now these people think im a horrible person, a stupid idiot, very unattractive because of the way ive acted, and have absolutely NO respect for me anymore.

I went from attractive interesting new person to complete disgusting psycho loser.

Ive gone from mature funny and smart to childish freak.

And Im just so upset. Now these people want NOTHING to do with me. Nothing at all. They avoid all forms of contact with me, and dread seeing me ever again. They possibly hate me, or are scared to even talk to me. They are even being rude to me now when i try to make contact. And i really miss how i was with them before. Back then, they really liked me. They thought i was great, and showed alot of interest. Now its the complete opposite.

Im really that bad when I drink too much. I regret it so much, and im not that drunk person. Thats not who I am, but when I drink too much I completely change. Its really strange.

Can anyone suggest anything, or relate? I just need to talk to someone..Thanks again for reading..I really appreciate everyone here.

angellight · 06-10-2009, 08:10 AM

The most you can do is apologize for your rude and immature behavior and ask for their forgiveness...You may have gone too far overboard and the relationships are past the point of repair...If so, there is nothing else you can do.. You absolutely must not drink....Clearly you cannot handle it....If you meet people out order a glass of gingerale with a splash of cranberry and a lime...Nobody will know you are not drinking so there will be no questions..At the same time you get to see how utterly stupid drunk people are....which will reinforce your desire to stay sober and not make an ass out of yourself again.

lavenderdove · 06-10-2009, 08:15 AM

If alcohol causes you problems, then you have a problem with alcohol, whether it's a lot or little. Binge drinking can be as bad as daily drinking if you can't control it once it starts. So you are being wise to quit.

Remember that alcohol is a drug, and for some people it does just make them crazy, just like people can respond badly to any type of drug. There are lots of people who get violent and crazy when drunk, and even have blackouts where they do dangerous and criminal things and don't remember it afterwards.

But the good news is this is an easy problem to fix... just quit drinking! There is nothing to be ashamed about for not drinking, and you might try to apologize to your friends and tell them that obviously alcohol makes you crazy so you won't drink anymore. Perhaps they'll forgive you if they see you are remorseful and doing something to ensure it doesn't happen again.

curious11 · 06-10-2009, 08:45 AM

If you think you have a problem with alcohol then you do. And even though its only a once a month habit, it will turn into a daily habit eventually.

I think its best if you stop, you dont need it anyway! Its caused many people problems.

COtuner · 06-10-2009, 09:01 AM

AA is a legitimate option for what you are describing. They have resources to help you understand why you do this, even if it's on rare occasions. It sounds like you may have control issues when it comes to social pressure.

To share: I rarely drink more than one beer (over a couple hours time) when I'm out with friends, a date, or coworkers because I know I have a tendency to get very energized since I don't get to have "fun" with others very often. By not drinking, I ensure that I don't say things I might regret later such as expressing thoughts or feelings about other people we may know.

pianoguy · 06-10-2009, 11:45 AM

Yes, check out AA. It doesn't matter how much you drink, it has more to do with your relationship with alcohol than how frequently you drink. If alchohol is ruining your life you owe it to yourself.

06-10-2009, 07:58 AM	#1
iamtrying Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 115	How many friendships will I destroy through alcohol, before I learn? Hi everyone, hope you are all great! I have a problem with alcohol. The problem isnt that I drink too much, or even often (once a month or so). But when I do drink, I turn into a completely insane embarrassing crazy nut job. Its really bad. And I cant control it. Ive tried to limit how much I drink, but that doesnt work once I start to drink. I just drink til I pass out and I cannot control much of what I do. Ive tried to control myself and what I say when Ive drunk too much, but that doesnt work either. I think that the only option left is that i can never drink again. For the rest of my life. I really dont see any other way to stop my insanse freak behaviour when I drink (too much). Im really hurt right now. I feel very sad. I feel this way because Ive completely destroyed three (almost four) friendships with three different people Ive really liked and cared for. I drank with them for the confidence boost. Because I am nervous around them. I kind of have a crush on them. Anyway I know I shouldnt drink for confidence. But its not just that. You know, its a socializing thing people do when they go out. Anyway basically two drinks isnt enough for me, not five drinks, not ten drinks sometimes. I just cannot control my alcohol intake once i start to drink. I just cant. So ive gone out to places with these three different people at different times. And Ive drank too much. And basically I just insult them harshly, I make really innappropiate comments and do innappropriate things, I say things that i should be locked up in a crazy mental ward for - just really really strange things, and basically I just turn into some sort of monster.. Now these people think im a horrible person, a stupid idiot, very unattractive because of the way ive acted, and have absolutely NO respect for me anymore. I went from attractive interesting new person to complete disgusting psycho loser. Ive gone from mature funny and smart to childish freak. And Im just so upset. Now these people want NOTHING to do with me. Nothing at all. They avoid all forms of contact with me, and dread seeing me ever again. They possibly hate me, or are scared to even talk to me. They are even being rude to me now when i try to make contact. And i really miss how i was with them before. Back then, they really liked me. They thought i was great, and showed alot of interest. Now its the complete opposite. Im really that bad when I drink too much. I regret it so much, and im not that drunk person. Thats not who I am, but when I drink too much I completely change. Its really strange. Can anyone suggest anything, or relate? I just need to talk to someone..Thanks again for reading..I really appreciate everyone here. __________________ Help...Dont know how and where to find it.. =[

06-10-2009, 08:45 AM	#4
curious11 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 336	If you think you have a problem with alcohol then you do. And even though its only a once a month habit, it will turn into a daily habit eventually. I think its best if you stop, you dont need it anyway! Its caused many people problems. __________________ "If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you its yours, if it doesnt it never was."

06-10-2009, 11:45 AM	#6
pianoguy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Boston Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,343	Yes, check out AA. It doesn't matter how much you drink, it has more to do with your relationship with alcohol than how frequently you drink. If alchohol is ruining your life you owe it to yourself. __________________ "A productive and happy life is not something you find. It is something you make." Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. "Be kind. Everyone you meet is engaged in a great struggle." -Plato "I have sad misgivings that I shall never find any consolation in life save in music" - Bela Bartok

06-10-2009, 08:10 AM	#2
angellight Offline Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 532	The most you can do is apologize for your rude and immature behavior and ask for their forgiveness...You may have gone too far overboard and the relationships are past the point of repair...If so, there is nothing else you can do.. You absolutely must not drink....Clearly you cannot handle it....If you meet people out order a glass of gingerale with a splash of cranberry and a lime...Nobody will know you are not drinking so there will be no questions..At the same time you get to see how utterly stupid drunk people are....which will reinforce your desire to stay sober and not make an ass out of yourself again.

06-10-2009, 08:15 AM	#3
lavenderdove Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1,515	If alcohol causes you problems, then you have a problem with alcohol, whether it's a lot or little. Binge drinking can be as bad as daily drinking if you can't control it once it starts. So you are being wise to quit. Remember that alcohol is a drug, and for some people it does just make them crazy, just like people can respond badly to any type of drug. There are lots of people who get violent and crazy when drunk, and even have blackouts where they do dangerous and criminal things and don't remember it afterwards. But the good news is this is an easy problem to fix... just quit drinking! There is nothing to be ashamed about for not drinking, and you might try to apologize to your friends and tell them that obviously alcohol makes you crazy so you won't drink anymore. Perhaps they'll forgive you if they see you are remorseful and doing something to ensure it doesn't happen again.

06-10-2009, 09:01 AM	#5
COtuner Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 4,102	AA is a legitimate option for what you are describing. They have resources to help you understand why you do this, even if it's on rare occasions. It sounds like you may have control issues when it comes to social pressure. To share: I rarely drink more than one beer (over a couple hours time) when I'm out with friends, a date, or coworkers because I know I have a tendency to get very energized since I don't get to have "fun" with others very often. By not drinking, I ensure that I don't say things I might regret later such as expressing thoughts or feelings about other people we may know.