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signs that flirting is just friendly vs romantic interest?


COtuner

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How does one tell when flirting is intended to be just friendly and playful, or if a guy has some real attraction toward you? The interactions you have when you see each other in the course of the day - is there a way to tell, or do you have to rely on an actual declaration of some interest in order to tell the difference between friendly flirting or "real" flirting?

 

Not looking for ways to flirt or anything like that - just interested in what responses people have based on their own or other's experience.

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Hmmm..if they mention how cute or attractive you are, I think that's a sign of romantic interest. Real attraction is asking you detailed questions about yourself,not just surface questions.

 

Ah, but don't people interested in friendship also ask detailed questions?

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Ah, but don't people interested in friendship also ask detailed questions?

 

Not neccessarily. If someone is interested in you romantically, you will KNOW it. I know I do....and like the other poster said if I'm flirting with you, it's because their is attraction. I don't just flirt for the sake of flirting.

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Hmmm..if they mention how cute or attractive you are, I think that's a sign of romantic interest. Real attraction is asking you detailed questions about yourself,not just surface questions.

 

I agree with this.

 

Also, if they steer or allow the conversation to on to your personal life or fish about information about your love life.

 

And, the consistency is a big part. All the guys that were flirting with me with romantic intentions made it a point to do it on a regular, consistent basis. The ones with friendly intentions were on and off in their attention levels.

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Not neccessarily. If someone is interested in you romantically, you will KNOW it. I know I do....and like the other poster said if I'm flirting with you, it's because their is attraction. I don't just flirt for the sake of flirting.

 

See, I ask because I'm used to guy friends and coworkers being a tiny bit silly with me, not openly flirting but maybe light teasing banter in conversation just for fun. Therefore, I have learned that this does not always mean romantic interest when a guy flirts - it can just be fun or being silly

 

So figuring out how to actually tell the difference with guys I don't know well is something that came up in a conversation with a friend today.

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I agree with this.

 

Also, if they steer or allow the conversation to on to your personal life or fish about information about your love life.

 

And, the consistency is a big part. All the guys that were flirting with me with romantic intentions made it a point to do it on a regular, consistent basis. The ones with friendly intentions were on and off in their attention levels.

 

Hmmm.... ok... thanks for the additional detail

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This is how I can tell if a guy likes me.

 

If you are in a group setting, move to another part of the group. If within 5 minutes he ends up next to you, he probably likes you.

 

if you are walking in a group, slow down the pace. If he slows down to walk with you, he probably likes you.

 

If he seems flirty with most girls, but around you he is more flirty or more shy (basically any change in comparison to other girls), he probably likes you.

 

If you are in a group setting and you say that you want to go out to eat, and he immediately agrees (or any other situation of the sort), even if it isn't a popular suggestion, he probably likes you.

 

If he asks for you two to be alone (maybe not even directly. It could be "hey, let's grab lunch. Hey, let's work on this together, etc) then he probably likes you.

 

I've always been able to feel the "vibe" they give me. It's a feeling I get. From the way they look at me to how they say "hello". I can't really explain it but i always know if a guy likes me by his "vibe".

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How about some responses from the older crowd as well (my age - late 30s and early 40s), since most of my interactions are in more professional or business related settings not clubs, school, etc etc. I'm thinking people you bump into frequently so you aren't total strangers, but you aren't really acquaintances either.

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when I'm romantically interested, I'll ask the woman out - I don't waste much time with ongoing flirtations

 

some people are flirty by nature, some of them are not single either

 

is the person single and available? or is this some married fool getting off on toying with your emotions?

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Good happy medium.

 

Between PUA's that treat me like game and these shy, insecure boys that can't very well look at me, let alone let me know that they are interested......

 

bah.

 

You give me hope.

 

well, if your personality isn't a good match, but physically you are hot, maybe we will just have sex. just putting that out there. yes, it happens.

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when I'm romantically interested, I'll ask the woman out - I don't waste much time with ongoing flirtations

 

some people are flirty by nature, some of them are not single either

 

is the person single and available? or is this some married fool getting off on toying with your emotions?[/QUOTE]

 

Oh no, I'm not asking about anyone specific, just situations that come up somewhat frequently at various places I frequent, and sometimes in the office.

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I've noticed, in general, that people who are interested in more than flirting will ask the other person out.

 

If you're interested in someone who is flirting with you, just ask him out. You have nothing to lose, and it's good practice anyway!

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I've noticed, in general, that people who are interested in more than flirting will ask the other person out.

 

If you're interested in someone who is flirting with you, just ask him out. You have nothing to lose, and it's good practice anyway!

 

Thanks, but that's not really what I'm asking. I'm specifically looking to just be able to tell the difference since I have grown accustomed to making the assumption that it's NOT romantic interest. I also happen to be open to being just friends with guys - I only want to try and figure out ways to interpret their behavior so I react appropriately.

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