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'Getting a blowjob is not cheating'


confusedgirly

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I've recently found out that some guys (small percentage I'd hope) don't consider getting a blow-job from another girl (while in a relationship) cheating.

 

To me that seems like a warped, sick-in-the-head idea. Of course that's cheating!

 

Does anyone have any idea why these guys would have this opinion?

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It's true. I was involved with one once. They just simply think that anything other than intercourse is not cheating. I suspect that they realize deep down that it is because they will generally NOT tell their SO about it. I honestly think that this is more common than you realize.

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It's true. I was involved with one once. They just simply think that anything other than intercourse is not cheating. I suspect that they realize deep down that it is because they will generally NOT tell their SO about it. I honestly think that this is more common than you realize.

 

do they think the same if their girl gets oral from another guy?

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^haha.

actually. blowjobs wouldn't be cheating if he talked to me about it beforehand and I was ok with it. same with full-blown sex. it's not cheating if the other partner knows/is ok with it!

 

I think I'd be a bit upset if my boyfriend came and said "honey, would it be alright if I let this other girl blow me?" This is why they tend not to ask. The answer is rarely going to be positive.

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I think I'd be a bit upset if my boyfriend came and said "honey, would it be alright if I let this other girl blow me?" This is why they tend not to ask. The answer is rarely going to be positive.

 

actually. in our relationship we try not to get upset at each other, no matter the topic. so we are both free to bring up silly things like that. and I would be absolutely OK with him getting a lapdance/professional sex (disease free, of course) if he wanted it. I've expressed this, and he knows it.

 

he declines because he's not interested, but if one day he ever is... I'm potentially up for threesomes and letting him have fun with professional blowjobs etc. as long as he can separate the physical from the mental attachment, I don't see a problem.

 

not for everyone of course, which is why cheating is different for every relationship! and people must talk to their partner to find out what is and isn't acceptable.

 

Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition.

^this I very much agree with. if there is no lying, deception, or whatnot, then it isn't cheating, regardless of the act.

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But if they had a girlfriend and were getting regular sex why would they need to be 'blown' by someone else? It just seems like too much effort, all that secrecy for something his girlfriend could do herself?

 

Maybe she sucks at blowjobs? No pun intended.

 

Seriously though, I think it's cheating and if I ever found out my partner did that behind my back, I'd end him.

It sounds like men who think this way only do so because they need some sort of justification [ as lame and unstable as it is ] for cheating.

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But if they had a girlfriend and were getting regular sex why would they need to be 'blown' by someone else? It just seems like too much effort, all that secrecy for something his girlfriend could do herself?

 

Greed, Variety, Insecurity, Dominance, Empowerment...... and a long list of the other sociopathic charaterstics.

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Maybe because it's degrading to the woman who is performing oral sex, or she is just being used for sexual gratification with what is being done without any real emotional connection that may be characteristic to normal sexual intercourse. Now, if he had feelings for her, and was dating her or something or was his second romantic interest, then that would be cheating in contrast.

 

In a similar way, some people won't see going to a prostitute as cheating because there is no emotional connection and you are just using another person for sex without any other type of involvement (as long as the SO's money is not being used of course).

 

This is why it's important to get a person's moral values and views on subjects like that before getting into a relationship so there are no surprizes.

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actually. in our relationship we try not to get upset at each other, no matter the topic. so we are both free to bring up silly things like that. and I would be absolutely OK with him getting a lapdance/professional sex (disease free, of course) if he wanted it. I've expressed this, and he knows it.

 

he declines because he's not interested, but if one day he ever is... I'm potentially up for threesomes and letting him have fun with professional blowjobs etc. as long as he can separate the physical from the mental attachment, I don't see a problem.

 

not for everyone of course, which is why cheating is different for every relationship! and people must talk to their partner to find out what is and isn't acceptable.

.

 

This is a very rare viewpoint. Of course it is up to the couple to decide what the definition of cheating is, but I would be quite upset if he thought that a BJ wasn't cheating. I'd be even more upset if he wanted to obtain one from another woman. I think it can be safely assumed that most women would not be okay with their boyfriends/husbands doing that.

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actually. in our relationship we try not to get upset at each other, no matter the topic. so we are both free to bring up silly things like that. and I would be absolutely OK with him getting a lapdance/professional sex (disease free, of course) if he wanted it. I've expressed this, and he knows it.

 

he declines because he's not interested, but if one day he ever is... I'm potentially up for threesomes and letting him have fun with professional blowjobs etc. as long as he can separate the physical from the mental attachment, I don't see a problem.

 

not for everyone of course, which is why cheating is different for every relationship! and people must talk to their partner to find out what is and isn't acceptable.

 

Rationalizing is only lying to ones self. ](*,)

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Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition.

 

rationalizing? if there is no lying or deception it is not cheating, and in saying such I am not lying so myself. haha.

 

if he wanted a blowjob from another woman but I wasn't OK with it, and he went ahead anyway, that is cheating. but if I was OK with it, then how is that, in the least, cheating or lying to myself?

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Because you have loopholed what being faithful is in my opinion. If you have an open relationship thats fine, but why even pose the question if your convictions were 100%? You would not need our opinions on the matter, opinions that are usually unbiased and realistic. In your head, you have thought of all the ways and reasons why he is still faithful and what being faithful is. A rationalization, a very very close cousin to denial.

 

Don't be upset if you grow and realise that really was not the case, and that you have set a level of respect that may not be too high. "She lets me do what I want" so the second you do feel uncomfortable, if ever, be prepared for an emotional reality check.

 

When you say "Professional Sex" thats like me being a crackhead and merely saying Ive a "Cocaine Problem." It sounds alright, but everyone around knows the probable outcome of this activity. Best wishes with your relationship and health.

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