Boundaries with families/ dual diagnosis sibling

vioara · 05-15-2009, 01:55 AM

The upshot:

I have been caregiver to my sister w/ schitzophrenia & heroin addiction for about 10 years. my family provides financial support but can not work together for a solution.

Mental illness runs in the family. Father, who is a psychiatrist, is manic and delusional. Also abused us both phsycially and sexually. mother alcoholic.

The less contact I have with them, the better I feel. I always get sucked back into my sister;s situation, esp when she is acutely paranoid and helpless. Trouble is, the cost to myself has been more than considerable. WOrk and relationships have suffered. Basically, ten years of my life lost.

Very hard for other people from less extreme family situations to understand or be able to sympathize. My psychiatrist advises me to think of her as dead.

Anyone gone through something similar?

Really alone here-- broke up with boyfriend who is from large, supportive family. can't help resenting anyone who hasn't seen the inside of a jail or hospitalized a family member or single-handedly tried to keep a crazy family together.

Anyone?

waveseer · 05-15-2009, 02:14 AM

Does taking your kids to see their parent on the mental ward count? Sometimes you just have to save yourself.

Capricorn3 · 05-15-2009, 02:30 AM

There comes a time in life when you just have to take care of yourself - to recharge your own batteries, so to speak. It is not a bad thing, nor is it wrong.

You have given a big part of your life in taking care of others and you have done a good job in doing so. It's not surprising that eventually you suffer burn out. Now it is time to take care of yourself.

Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself. Not many people would sacrifice as much as you have.

vioara · 05-15-2009, 11:11 AM

thanks for the moral support. it helps. the whole situation hurts a lot-- i can be very effective, but in this situation-- where my sister is manipulative and only sporadically accepts help-- there is often nothing i can do. but she is still there, crying about the government switching her meds. i've hospitalized her before but my parents sprung her out.

really, time to walk away. but it is hard with flesh and blood. and, she is using again.

is there a mental health/ drug addiction section to this forum?

05-15-2009, 01:55 AM	#1
vioara Offline Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 2	Boundaries with families/ dual diagnosis sibling The upshot: I have been caregiver to my sister w/ schitzophrenia & heroin addiction for about 10 years. my family provides financial support but can not work together for a solution. Mental illness runs in the family. Father, who is a psychiatrist, is manic and delusional. Also abused us both phsycially and sexually. mother alcoholic. The less contact I have with them, the better I feel. I always get sucked back into my sister;s situation, esp when she is acutely paranoid and helpless. Trouble is, the cost to myself has been more than considerable. WOrk and relationships have suffered. Basically, ten years of my life lost. Very hard for other people from less extreme family situations to understand or be able to sympathize. My psychiatrist advises me to think of her as dead. Anyone gone through something similar? Really alone here-- broke up with boyfriend who is from large, supportive family. can't help resenting anyone who hasn't seen the inside of a jail or hospitalized a family member or single-handedly tried to keep a crazy family together. Anyone?

05-15-2009, 02:14 AM	#2
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	Does taking your kids to see their parent on the mental ward count? Sometimes you just have to save yourself. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

05-15-2009, 02:30 AM	#3
Capricorn3 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 1,618	There comes a time in life when you just have to take care of yourself - to recharge your own batteries, so to speak. It is not a bad thing, nor is it wrong. You have given a big part of your life in taking care of others and you have done a good job in doing so. It's not surprising that eventually you suffer burn out. Now it is time to take care of yourself. Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself. Not many people would sacrifice as much as you have. __________________ The reward of a thing well done, is to have done it.

05-15-2009, 11:11 AM	#4
vioara Offline Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 2	thanks for the moral support. it helps. the whole situation hurts a lot-- i can be very effective, but in this situation-- where my sister is manipulative and only sporadically accepts help-- there is often nothing i can do. but she is still there, crying about the government switching her meds. i've hospitalized her before but my parents sprung her out. really, time to walk away. but it is hard with flesh and blood. and, she is using again. is there a mental health/ drug addiction section to this forum?