specific kind of change that brings unhappiness

persephonebell · 05-12-2009, 11:35 PM

Hello forumers,

Now I'd like to ask if what specific kind of change can bring unhappiness to you, or anybody for that matter.

It can be a personal experience, or anyhting that happened to your acquaintance, or can be your own opinion.

Thanks!

sHiNiNgxStAr · 05-13-2009, 12:17 AM

Finishing college- should be a good thing but suddenly you feel thrown out there in the world without knowing what your next step is.- you are single, have spare time friends only, you want to have that someone special but you don't have anyone... now that brings unhappiness.

AlwayzRight · 05-13-2009, 12:50 AM

Getting dumped by the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with who was also your best friend.

indierockgrl · 05-13-2009, 11:12 AM

I think that the only real change that can bring unhappiness is if you are changing for someone else and not for yourself. I think if you try to live for someone else instead of for what you truly want, you are setting yourself up for failure down the road. I went through some major life changes last year and it took me 10 years to make the decision to change. It was so scary and tragic but in the end i am so happy i did it. I actually shouldnt have waited so long either. The only way i could have been happy with the changes was because i did it for me and nobody else....

spidey112 · 05-13-2009, 06:22 PM

Having a spiritual/religious experience.

WomanWriter · 05-14-2009, 12:36 AM

Going from doing (or being with) someone/something you really want TO someone/something you don't want.

For example, you had a job you loved but lost it and had to get a job at a place you don't like but feel like you're stuck because you need to make money.

Or you were happy with your current partner and s/he decided to leave you. Or s/he died. Now you are stuck in a situation without the person you love and have to learn to make the most of the people around you even though it's not the same.

Finally, your dreams are dashed. Maybe you loved to run...it was your "thing"...but then you became paralyzed. So now the thing that you really enjoyed is gone.

Overall, it comes down to lack of control. When we are unable to attain our passions and have no hope, we feel helpless and unhappy.

When we feel like we have some control over the situation and are able to attain our passions, we do have hope and that hope brings us happiness.

Recently, I lost my partner (whom I loved) and my job (which I hated but I still need the money). So I feel unhappy that I no longer have control over who my partner is (one of my passions) and I'm unhappy that I am not making as much money as I used to (another passion...making good money).

So yeah, it's when we can't live our passions because of obstacles...real or in our mind.

waveseer · 05-14-2009, 12:41 AM

Extreme unresolvable frustration.

05-12-2009, 11:35 PM	#1
persephonebell Offline Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 2	specific kind of change that brings unhappiness Hello forumers, Now I'd like to ask if what specific kind of change can bring unhappiness to you, or anybody for that matter. It can be a personal experience, or anyhting that happened to your acquaintance, or can be your own opinion. Thanks!

05-14-2009, 12:41 AM	#7
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,062	Extreme unresolvable frustration. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

05-13-2009, 12:17 AM	#2
sHiNiNgxStAr Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: YoUr SkY Gender: Female Posts: 53	Finishing college- should be a good thing but suddenly you feel thrown out there in the world without knowing what your next step is.- you are single, have spare time friends only, you want to have that someone special but you don't have anyone... now that brings unhappiness.

05-13-2009, 12:50 AM	#3
AlwayzRight Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 183	Getting dumped by the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with who was also your best friend.

05-13-2009, 11:12 AM	#4
indierockgrl Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Gender: None Specified Posts: 511	I think that the only real change that can bring unhappiness is if you are changing for someone else and not for yourself. I think if you try to live for someone else instead of for what you truly want, you are setting yourself up for failure down the road. I went through some major life changes last year and it took me 10 years to make the decision to change. It was so scary and tragic but in the end i am so happy i did it. I actually shouldnt have waited so long either. The only way i could have been happy with the changes was because i did it for me and nobody else....

05-13-2009, 06:22 PM	#5
spidey112 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 128	Having a spiritual/religious experience.

05-14-2009, 12:36 AM	#6
WomanWriter Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: California Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 1,414	Going from doing (or being with) someone/something you really want TO someone/something you don't want. For example, you had a job you loved but lost it and had to get a job at a place you don't like but feel like you're stuck because you need to make money. Or you were happy with your current partner and s/he decided to leave you. Or s/he died. Now you are stuck in a situation without the person you love and have to learn to make the most of the people around you even though it's not the same. Finally, your dreams are dashed. Maybe you loved to run...it was your "thing"...but then you became paralyzed. So now the thing that you really enjoyed is gone. Overall, it comes down to lack of control. When we are unable to attain our passions and have no hope, we feel helpless and unhappy. When we feel like we have some control over the situation and are able to attain our passions, we do have hope and that hope brings us happiness. Recently, I lost my partner (whom I loved) and my job (which I hated but I still need the money). So I feel unhappy that I no longer have control over who my partner is (one of my passions) and I'm unhappy that I am not making as much money as I used to (another passion...making good money). So yeah, it's when we can't live our passions because of obstacles...real or in our mind.