Developing a crush on a younger guy...but I know he's not what I'm looking for!

jhinesis · 05-09-2009, 08:00 PM

So I'm on a dating site--I'm talking to several guys, having fun with it, but I am looking for something serious as an outcome eventually. Not neccessarily marriage/kids serious, but at least a long term exclusive relationship(though I'm open to more later). I'm 24, I live alone in my own home, I have a nice car and a decent job--I'm independent. A part of me feels like I should be looking for someone older, mature, at least as established as I am--I guess someone who has the potential to be serious at some point(even though that's not what I'm looking for right now).

However, I've found myself developing a mini-crush on someone younger and pretty much the exact opposite of the aforementioned characteristics! I've been talking to him for about a month and a half online, that was ok, I enjoyed talking to him, but I was neutral without strong feelings either way. Well, we met last week and I actually really liked him in person. He was good looking, funny, we had a good time together. Since then, we've been talking more frequently(every day now, as opposed to every few days before) and I can tell that he's become my "favorite" out of everyone I'm talking too. You know the feeling, that very excited/pleased feeling when they contact you. I feel certain that he feels the same, i.e. he liked me in person and wants to get to know me more.

*But*, he's 21 years old, covered in tattoos, he seems to have a short-term attention span, he's a bit of a partyer-(like most 21 one year olds, I guess), though he can't drink because he has some sort of liver problem he was born with. He doesn't seem *immature*, but he's not really incredibly mature either--again, I guess average for his age. He just seems very spontaneous and unpredictable--how do I know if something did occur between us, he wouldn't just get bored and drift off later? Should I give this a chance and see what happens or cut my losses and keep looking for someone there might be more long-term potential with?

vertigoxo · 05-09-2009, 08:11 PM

Hey, if you like him, go for it. Age ain't nothing but a number. And opposites attract, anyways.

littleHorse · 05-09-2009, 08:12 PM

just a thought, but maybe you should ask yourself if you would get bored of being with someone who is less mature then you because i think it would be you that would be the one that would in the end drift off, because you will become bored of the partying. But hey you never know you could just choose to have fun with it and if it works it work, if not time to move on.

l9grl · 05-09-2009, 08:13 PM

There is no harm in getting to know him better.

You're only 24 - relax and enjoy! No need to get married tomorrow, right? LOL.

COtuner · 05-09-2009, 09:19 PM

Hasn't ever worked for me, dating young men. We're always too different, regardless of attraction or any initial chemistry. I don't think there's any harm in casual dating, just stay in the moment

calidreamin0 · 05-10-2009, 01:36 AM

omg i have this same problem!

I am 23 and i work at a gym, and i see the most attractive guys who are barely pushing 19! How did these boys get so cute so young? They are working on english 101 when I am going for my second degree!

I don't know whether its a good idea either! It is totally a fling set-up... I guess just roll with the punches!

05-09-2009, 08:00 PM	#1
jhinesis Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 78	Developing a crush on a younger guy...but I know he's not what I'm looking for! So I'm on a dating site--I'm talking to several guys, having fun with it, but I am looking for something serious as an outcome eventually. Not neccessarily marriage/kids serious, but at least a long term exclusive relationship(though I'm open to more later). I'm 24, I live alone in my own home, I have a nice car and a decent job--I'm independent. A part of me feels like I should be looking for someone older, mature, at least as established as I am--I guess someone who has the potential to be serious at some point(even though that's not what I'm looking for right now). However, I've found myself developing a mini-crush on someone younger and pretty much the exact opposite of the aforementioned characteristics! I've been talking to him for about a month and a half online, that was ok, I enjoyed talking to him, but I was neutral without strong feelings either way. Well, we met last week and I actually really liked him in person. He was good looking, funny, we had a good time together. Since then, we've been talking more frequently(every day now, as opposed to every few days before) and I can tell that he's become my "favorite" out of everyone I'm talking too. You know the feeling, that very excited/pleased feeling when they contact you. I feel certain that he feels the same, i.e. he liked me in person and wants to get to know me more. But, he's 21 years old, covered in tattoos, he seems to have a short-term attention span, he's a bit of a partyer-(like most 21 one year olds, I guess), though he can't drink because he has some sort of liver problem he was born with. He doesn't seem immature, but he's not really incredibly mature either--again, I guess average for his age. He just seems very spontaneous and unpredictable--how do I know if something did occur between us, he wouldn't just get bored and drift off later? Should I give this a chance and see what happens or cut my losses and keep looking for someone there might be more long-term potential with? Last edited by jhinesis; 05-09-2009 at 08:14 PM.

05-09-2009, 08:11 PM	#2
vertigoxo Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 2,034	Hey, if you like him, go for it. Age ain't nothing but a number. And opposites attract, anyways.

05-09-2009, 08:12 PM	#3
littleHorse Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 35	just a thought, but maybe you should ask yourself if you would get bored of being with someone who is less mature then you because i think it would be you that would be the one that would in the end drift off, because you will become bored of the partying. But hey you never know you could just choose to have fun with it and if it works it work, if not time to move on.

05-09-2009, 08:13 PM	#4
l9grl Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 502	There is no harm in getting to know him better. You're only 24 - relax and enjoy! No need to get married tomorrow, right? LOL.

05-09-2009, 09:19 PM	#5
COtuner Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 4,102	Hasn't ever worked for me, dating young men. We're always too different, regardless of attraction or any initial chemistry. I don't think there's any harm in casual dating, just stay in the moment

05-10-2009, 01:36 AM	#6
calidreamin0 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Northern California Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 419	omg i have this same problem! I am 23 and i work at a gym, and i see the most attractive guys who are barely pushing 19! How did these boys get so cute so young? They are working on english 101 when I am going for my second degree! I don't know whether its a good idea either! It is totally a fling set-up... I guess just roll with the punches!