my mom says I'm too fat for birth control

velvette · 04-28-2009, 10:19 PM

I'm 5'4, 110 pounds. everybody else thinks I'm too thin, makes fun of my smallness etc.

my mom is 5'3, 90ish pounds. she's constantly picking on my weight, but usually I brush it off as it might not be negative. ie she'll say, man your thighs are really stretching those jeans! (could mean it's sexy, although I feel like that's not how she intended it. but I can brush those off) or, 'ah, this shirt is too big for me, but it fits you perfectly! your wide shoulders are stuffed there!' etccc.

today though, I was saying I'd like to be on birth control before having sex since I don't want kids. she's like, birth control??? people get totally FAT on that! so I said, well, usually it's only 10 pounds. and she scoffed, looking at me, and said 'you're heavy enough. you'll be so ugly you could die with 10 more pounds', pretty much. not even changing her choice of words here.

I've struggled with body image thanks to my parents' hurtful comments all throughout my childhood. I thought I finally overcame it, with a loving boyfriend who assures me I look perfect as is, and slowly I began to love my own reflection in the mirror, thought I looked pretty damn sexy etc. but suddenly tonight, it all came rushing back and as I stare at my naked body I can only see fat. I hate myself so much, and then I hate my mom a bit. what is wrong with us!

I'm skipping dinner. she knows why, unless she's stupid. she still tries to guilt-trip me, saying she cooked it especially for me, and I'm being childish. and she won't admit she knows why. I even said, 'well I'm heavy enough as is, I can afford to skip a few meals'. and she pretended she didn't hear, she was like 'what?'. there was no way I was repeating that so I just left her to eat dinner alone.

I'm so hungry and she did cook my favorite dish. but I know I'll feel so guilty/fat with each and every bite. I don't even know how to talk to her about this. when I try, she skirts the issue. I've told her I don't want her commenting about my weight ever again, but she says I'm just being oversensitive. sigh.

lana111 · 04-28-2009, 10:27 PM

your mom has problems. im sure she is projecting her feelings about herself onto you. dont listen to her. you are a normal weight (under weight if anything depending on your build) and even if you werent you are still a worthy and beautiful being.

as far as being too fat/too thin for BC... ask a doctor.

your moms words sicken me.

Sweet Venus · 04-28-2009, 10:30 PM

Honey, I know it's your mom, but that's pretty screwed up!!! I'm 5'4 and I weigh
123 lbs...guess I would be a whale by HER standards. Your mom sounds jealous of you, and she sounds like she has serious issues. This is how eating disorders start, so PLEASE don't listen to her. I'm sure you're beautiful.

Jetta · 04-28-2009, 10:31 PM

Well as far as birth control don't get the shot, I gained 50 lbs on that and I WAS fat enough. Use condoms, the regular pill shouldn't be bad, or even try an IUD (I don't know if people gain weight on that but I'm super suseptible to weight gain). I go without birth control now, which is fine I'm single but when involved it's condoms useage for me although I am considering an IUD.

As far as your mom's comments, she's a mom, you're not fat, but maybe she thinks she's preventing you from getting fat by her remarks. But it's true be weary of birth control. 10 lbs is 10 lbs that sticks.

lana111 · 04-28-2009, 10:35 PM

and just an after thought... i never gained weight from BC. im not a tiny girl or anything to begin with, but BC has not at all changed my weight. not to say that will be your experience, im just saying being on BC doesnt automatically mean you are going to gain weight.

greywolf · 04-28-2009, 10:38 PM

You are far from fat. My mom can be like that too, but a lot of it has to do with her culture so I just ignore it.

Binoo · 04-28-2009, 10:39 PM

I don't even know what to say.
Your mothers' words are nothing less than completely and utterly disgusting.

I guess she hasn't thought about all the weight you would gain during pregnancy as opposed to the birth control pill?

As a mother, her first instinct should be to want to protect you ie. putting you on the pill so you do not become pregnant and potentially risk losing a lot of important personal experiences because you're too busy raising a child.

Too fat?! Absolutely rediculous!

dreamwarrior · 04-28-2009, 10:47 PM

Your to thin...and if you lose anymore weight you will be sickly. I am 5' 1" and 110 lbs would be to thin even for me. Your mother is to thin also.

knightingale · 04-28-2009, 10:50 PM

Your mom has issues and is taking it out on you. Your weight is perfectly fine and don't believe otherwise. Listen to your boyfriend, not your mom. She's underweight and is a negative influence on you.

BC makes you retain water, it doesn't build fat cells. Yes, it can increase your appetite, which leads to weight gain obviously, but just make sure to eat as you usually do and it won't be a problem. Aside from some water retention, I haven't gained any weight from being on BC. It is not written in stone that you are going to gain 30 lbs from taking it, so don't worry about it.

CAgirl · 04-28-2009, 10:52 PM

I haven't gained any weight from BC either. I've been on it for over a year. You are at a perfectly healthy weight btw.

04-28-2009, 10:19 PM	#1
velvette Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 483	my mom says I'm too fat for birth control I'm 5'4, 110 pounds. everybody else thinks I'm too thin, makes fun of my smallness etc. my mom is 5'3, 90ish pounds. she's constantly picking on my weight, but usually I brush it off as it might not be negative. ie she'll say, man your thighs are really stretching those jeans! (could mean it's sexy, although I feel like that's not how she intended it. but I can brush those off) or, 'ah, this shirt is too big for me, but it fits you perfectly! your wide shoulders are stuffed there!' etccc. today though, I was saying I'd like to be on birth control before having sex since I don't want kids. she's like, birth control??? people get totally FAT on that! so I said, well, usually it's only 10 pounds. and she scoffed, looking at me, and said 'you're heavy enough. you'll be so ugly you could die with 10 more pounds', pretty much. not even changing her choice of words here. I've struggled with body image thanks to my parents' hurtful comments all throughout my childhood. I thought I finally overcame it, with a loving boyfriend who assures me I look perfect as is, and slowly I began to love my own reflection in the mirror, thought I looked pretty damn sexy etc. but suddenly tonight, it all came rushing back and as I stare at my naked body I can only see fat. I hate myself so much, and then I hate my mom a bit. what is wrong with us! I'm skipping dinner. she knows why, unless she's stupid. she still tries to guilt-trip me, saying she cooked it especially for me, and I'm being childish. and she won't admit she knows why. I even said, 'well I'm heavy enough as is, I can afford to skip a few meals'. and she pretended she didn't hear, she was like 'what?'. there was no way I was repeating that so I just left her to eat dinner alone. I'm so hungry and she did cook my favorite dish. but I know I'll feel so guilty/fat with each and every bite. I don't even know how to talk to her about this. when I try, she skirts the issue. I've told her I don't want her commenting about my weight ever again, but she says I'm just being oversensitive. sigh. Last edited by velvette; 04-28-2009 at 10:30 PM.

04-28-2009, 10:27 PM	#2
lana111 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 1,178	your mom has problems. im sure she is projecting her feelings about herself onto you. dont listen to her. you are a normal weight (under weight if anything depending on your build) and even if you werent you are still a worthy and beautiful being. as far as being too fat/too thin for BC... ask a doctor. your moms words sicken me. __________________ Meet me halfway, right at the borderline That's where I'm gonna wait for you.

04-28-2009, 10:30 PM	#3
Sweet Venus Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 599	Honey, I know it's your mom, but that's pretty screwed up!!! I'm 5'4 and I weigh 123 lbs...guess I would be a whale by HER standards. Your mom sounds jealous of you, and she sounds like she has serious issues. This is how eating disorders start, so PLEASE don't listen to her. I'm sure you're beautiful. __________________ "What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear a word you say" "When I do good, I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, that's my religion"

04-28-2009, 10:31 PM	#4
Jetta Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minnesota Gender: Female Age: 35 Posts: 2,354	Well as far as birth control don't get the shot, I gained 50 lbs on that and I WAS fat enough. Use condoms, the regular pill shouldn't be bad, or even try an IUD (I don't know if people gain weight on that but I'm super suseptible to weight gain). I go without birth control now, which is fine I'm single but when involved it's condoms useage for me although I am considering an IUD. As far as your mom's comments, she's a mom, you're not fat, but maybe she thinks she's preventing you from getting fat by her remarks. But it's true be weary of birth control. 10 lbs is 10 lbs that sticks. __________________ "Reality is what won't go away when you stop believing in it." -Phillip K* "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." -Carl Jung

04-28-2009, 10:35 PM	#5
lana111 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 1,178	and just an after thought... i never gained weight from BC. im not a tiny girl or anything to begin with, but BC has not at all changed my weight. not to say that will be your experience, im just saying being on BC doesnt automatically mean you are going to gain weight. __________________ Meet me halfway, right at the borderline That's where I'm gonna wait for you.

04-28-2009, 10:38 PM	#6
greywolf Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Good question... Gender: Female Posts: 5,182	You are far from fat. My mom can be like that too, but a lot of it has to do with her culture so I just ignore it. __________________ "I'll never understand this until I get my penis." ~hersmudders "Give me life. Give me pain. Give me myself again." ~Tori Amos Pacquiao is gonna beat Cotto's ass!! w00t!

04-28-2009, 10:39 PM	#7
Binoo Offline Gold Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Gender: None Specified Posts: 525	I don't even know what to say. Your mothers' words are nothing less than completely and utterly disgusting. I guess she hasn't thought about all the weight you would gain during pregnancy as opposed to the birth control pill? As a mother, her first instinct should be to want to protect you ie. putting you on the pill so you do not become pregnant and potentially risk losing a lot of important personal experiences because you're too busy raising a child. Too fat?! Absolutely rediculous!

04-28-2009, 10:47 PM	#8
dreamwarrior Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Somewhere In Time Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 1,791	Your to thin...and if you lose anymore weight you will be sickly. I am 5' 1" and 110 lbs would be to thin even for me. Your mother is to thin also. __________________ "If you can't do better for me than what I am doing for myself don't waste my time or yours". ~dreamwarrior~ <--------------My Son The only limitations in life are the ones in your mind. ~dreamwarrior~

04-28-2009, 10:50 PM	#9
knightingale Offline Gold Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Texas Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 700	Your mom has issues and is taking it out on you. Your weight is perfectly fine and don't believe otherwise. Listen to your boyfriend, not your mom. She's underweight and is a negative influence on you. BC makes you retain water, it doesn't build fat cells. Yes, it can increase your appetite, which leads to weight gain obviously, but just make sure to eat as you usually do and it won't be a problem. Aside from some water retention, I haven't gained any weight from being on BC. It is not written in stone that you are going to gain 30 lbs from taking it, so don't worry about it. __________________ "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss.

04-28-2009, 10:52 PM	#10
CAgirl Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: SoCal Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 558	I haven't gained any weight from BC either. I've been on it for over a year. You are at a perfectly healthy weight btw. __________________ "If we get through tomorrow, then we'll be fine...The worst is over for now. Take a breath, now let it out."