I just found out my brother is addicted to heroin.

Lyrisae · 04-21-2009, 04:19 PM

Last night, a mutual friend of my brother and I informed me that my brother is addicted to heroin.

She says she's been wanting to tell me for weeks, but that he has been begging her not to. Now that I have been told, I feel like a complete idiot for not noticing the signs of heroin addiction sooner. I'm just so inexperienced with this kind of thing. I don't do any kind of drugs.

She told me that my brother had spent his entire 700 dollar tax refund check on heroin, whereas he had lied and told me and my parents that he blew the money at the casino. He also said the other night (while I was hanging out over at his place) that he had to borrow ten dollars from me to help pay for an electricity bill. A friend of his then showed up (who I cannot stand, this guy has been in and out of jail multiple times for drug offenses and is just bad news) and he and my brother left together. The mutual friend of ours told me the ten dollars was most likely spent on a "button" of heroin, whatever or however much that is...

After hearing about his addiction, I went snooping around his apartment for evidence and it didn't take long for me to find it. A needle in his dresser drawer and a tray with white smudges on it and a razor blade.

Our mutual friend told me that his heroin use has been steadily growing worse and that my brother has come extremely close to overdosing twice within this past month alone.

I am so scared. I just don't know what to do. If he were to die, my family...I don't even know how we would cope with the loss. What do I do? Should I tell my parents what I know about him? Or should I confront my brother first with my knowledge? How do I go about finding rehab for him? Does he need rehab? I apologize for all the questions, I am just completely unsure as to how to handle this...I've never even smoked a cigarette before, let alone have to deal with a heroin addict, who is my brother whom I love dearly...

If it makes any difference knowing our ages, I just turned 21 and he is 25.

Please, please...any advice would be so greatly appreciated...

RoxyGril · 04-21-2009, 04:30 PM

I am so sorry about your sitaution. It isn't easy to have somebody so close to you hide something and especially doing it right underneath you. I would definitely let your parents know and you should talk to him about the situation as well. He definitely needs to get off of that nasty stuff quick and obviously needs to get help. Have you looked any sort of rehab for that in the phone book that would be local? the internet? Do what you can to get help for him it is the best thing you can probably do for him. If he doesn't stop using it will only get worse.

Ac143 · 04-21-2009, 04:52 PM

This is bad news, Im sorry. If I was in your situation I would tell my parents & both them and I would talk to him. I know he's an adult & can/should make his own decision but this is something that at some point IS NOT in his control anymore. The addication takes over & he needs the drugs. So he doesn't think rationally/logically etc..You should look into some rehabs in your area or even out of the area, print out a few, read about the addiction & then confront him.

He might not want to get help & unless he wants to change he wont, but you & your family should definitely offer it. Again..Im sorry

I hope he gets better!

*Sunny* · 04-21-2009, 05:24 PM

I am so sorry. My brother is a drug addict as well, although nothing as bad as heroin. I would definetly tell your parents, and talk with your brother. If he's anything like my brother, he will either A) lie to your face about it or B) admit to it but try to explain there there "isn't anything wrong" with heroin.

I'm asuming your brother is an adult (as is mine) and then you can't have him commited to a drug rehab against his will. Actually, there's really nothing you can do to "make" him see the light or get better. He has to want to get clean all on his own.

In the meantime, take care of yourself and love your brother, hate the drugs. It sucks but from now on you have to be careful about giving him money, or anything that can be pawned for money, borrowing your car....don't let him have access to your car or your house. He's still your brother, but you can't trust him anymore.

The hardest thing in the world is to watch his life spiral out of control but you can't let your life spiral down with him. All you can do is be supportive, try to talk to him, and be there to pick up the pieces when he finally decides to get clean.

Good luck.

Lyrisae · 04-21-2009, 08:07 PM

I just don't know what to do. I confronted him with my knowledge tonight and he swore that he doesn't use it very often and that he will try to get clean, for me. We both began to cry and he swore that he doesn't want to die and leave me and my family grieving. He seemed very sincere. But then on the other hand I have my boyfriend (who I went to for advice and told him the entire situation) telling me that my brother will say anything now to get out from under the radar. He swears its just a downward spiral and that my brother will die if I don't take direct action, i.e. telling my parents and sending him to rehab. Should I tell my parents? It would honestly kill them to find out their son is addicted to heroin, but...losing their son to a heroin overdose would kill them even more so. Should I just wait it out and see what happens from here before I confront my parents? My head is so mixed up, I'm nauseous and have been crying all day...I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place...

*Sunny* · 04-21-2009, 08:50 PM

I would tell your parents anyway. Believe me, for about a year after we found out about my brother all we heard was about how it "wasn't that often" or he could "stop anytime he wanted" and it "really wasn't all that bad". It's all addict speak to me.

If he's going to get clean he needs all support in the world, including from your parents. I'm sorry this is happening, I really am. And I certainly hope he hold true to his promise and gets clean for you. Support him as much as you can but don't let him take control of your life too.

la'isla · 04-21-2009, 09:07 PM

he needs family support and rehab a.s.a.p.

Lyrisae · 04-22-2009, 10:51 AM

So what kind of withdrawal symptoms should I be looking for...?

Lyrisae · 04-22-2009, 12:34 PM

One of the worst things is, I feel like I have nobody IRL to go to for advice. I feel so utterly alone in this. I called up my boyfriend yesterday crying my eyes out and told him the situation. His reponse is to insist that I let my parents know. He says otherwise that my brother will die. And he's putting a lot of pressure on me to tell my parents. Also, I asked him not to tell his mom about what was going on with my brother, and yet he did. He told me it was because he felt confused and worried over the situation and so he went to her looking for advice. What? This is my problem, not yours. I'm so frustrated with him, with my brother, with everything right now.

Ac143 · 04-22-2009, 01:07 PM

Hi Lyrisae, I know you are frustrated with your BF, he shouldnt have told his mom if you asked him not to, but he did & probably because he was worried

Your brother will lie & say that its not that bad, or he can quit etc but its VERY VERY hard to quit herion cold turkey. As far as I know its one of the hardest drugs to stop. One of my best friends little sister (she is 22) was addicted to herion for about a year before her friend over dosed & passed away. She then realized she needs to get herself into a rehab. She did 18 months ago & now she's in a half way house still recovering. She did relapse once mid way. Please dont just take your brothers word for it, that he will quit because even if he truly wants to it might be impossible for him to do it alone.

I found this site about some withdrawals..

[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

I would tell my parents as well if I was you & get their support. You cant do this alone..How would they feel if something happened & you knew about it but didn't tell them?

04-21-2009, 04:19 PM	#1
Lyrisae Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Midwest, baby! Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 43	I just found out my brother is addicted to heroin. Last night, a mutual friend of my brother and I informed me that my brother is addicted to heroin. She says she's been wanting to tell me for weeks, but that he has been begging her not to. Now that I have been told, I feel like a complete idiot for not noticing the signs of heroin addiction sooner. I'm just so inexperienced with this kind of thing. I don't do any kind of drugs. She told me that my brother had spent his entire 700 dollar tax refund check on heroin, whereas he had lied and told me and my parents that he blew the money at the casino. He also said the other night (while I was hanging out over at his place) that he had to borrow ten dollars from me to help pay for an electricity bill. A friend of his then showed up (who I cannot stand, this guy has been in and out of jail multiple times for drug offenses and is just bad news) and he and my brother left together. The mutual friend of ours told me the ten dollars was most likely spent on a "button" of heroin, whatever or however much that is... After hearing about his addiction, I went snooping around his apartment for evidence and it didn't take long for me to find it. A needle in his dresser drawer and a tray with white smudges on it and a razor blade. Our mutual friend told me that his heroin use has been steadily growing worse and that my brother has come extremely close to overdosing twice within this past month alone. I am so scared. I just don't know what to do. If he were to die, my family...I don't even know how we would cope with the loss. What do I do? Should I tell my parents what I know about him? Or should I confront my brother first with my knowledge? How do I go about finding rehab for him? Does he need rehab? I apologize for all the questions, I am just completely unsure as to how to handle this...I've never even smoked a cigarette before, let alone have to deal with a heroin addict, who is my brother whom I love dearly... If it makes any difference knowing our ages, I just turned 21 and he is 25. Please, please...any advice would be so greatly appreciated...

04-21-2009, 04:30 PM	#2
RoxyGril Offline Silver Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: California Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 435	I am so sorry about your sitaution. It isn't easy to have somebody so close to you hide something and especially doing it right underneath you. I would definitely let your parents know and you should talk to him about the situation as well. He definitely needs to get off of that nasty stuff quick and obviously needs to get help. Have you looked any sort of rehab for that in the phone book that would be local? the internet? Do what you can to get help for him it is the best thing you can probably do for him. If he doesn't stop using it will only get worse. __________________ "Being in love is what makes working all week bearable. It makes cruising with your windows rolled down feel like you're riding in a convertible. It makes you dance to the rythm of the copy machine and makes Friday night really feel like THE WEEKEND."

04-21-2009, 04:52 PM	#3
Ac143 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Paradise city.... Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 2,260	This is bad news, Im sorry. If I was in your situation I would tell my parents & both them and I would talk to him. I know he's an adult & can/should make his own decision but this is something that at some point IS NOT in his control anymore. The addication takes over & he needs the drugs. So he doesn't think rationally/logically etc..You should look into some rehabs in your area or even out of the area, print out a few, read about the addiction & then confront him. He might not want to get help & unless he wants to change he wont, but you & your family should definitely offer it. Again..Im sorry I hope he gets better! __________________ Soon to be Mrs... on 6/6/09 & I cannot wait :) We did it!!.......

04-21-2009, 05:24 PM	#4
Sunny Online Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: America Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 230	I am so sorry. My brother is a drug addict as well, although nothing as bad as heroin. I would definetly tell your parents, and talk with your brother. If he's anything like my brother, he will either A) lie to your face about it or B) admit to it but try to explain there there "isn't anything wrong" with heroin. I'm asuming your brother is an adult (as is mine) and then you can't have him commited to a drug rehab against his will. Actually, there's really nothing you can do to "make" him see the light or get better. He has to want to get clean all on his own. In the meantime, take care of yourself and love your brother, hate the drugs. It sucks but from now on you have to be careful about giving him money, or anything that can be pawned for money, borrowing your car....don't let him have access to your car or your house. He's still your brother, but you can't trust him anymore. The hardest thing in the world is to watch his life spiral out of control but you can't let your life spiral down with him. All you can do is be supportive, try to talk to him, and be there to pick up the pieces when he finally decides to get clean. Good luck. __________________ Handle every stressful situation in life like a dog would: If you can't play with it or eat it, just pee on it and walk away.

04-21-2009, 08:50 PM	#6
Sunny Online Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: America Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 230	I would tell your parents anyway. Believe me, for about a year after we found out about my brother all we heard was about how it "wasn't that often" or he could "stop anytime he wanted" and it "really wasn't all that bad". It's all addict speak to me. If he's going to get clean he needs all support in the world, including from your parents. I'm sorry this is happening, I really am. And I certainly hope he hold true to his promise and gets clean for you. Support him as much as you can but don't let him take control of your life too. __________________ Handle every stressful situation in life like a dog would: If you can't play with it or eat it, just pee on it and walk away.

04-21-2009, 08:07 PM	#5
Lyrisae Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Midwest, baby! Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 43	I just don't know what to do. I confronted him with my knowledge tonight and he swore that he doesn't use it very often and that he will try to get clean, for me. We both began to cry and he swore that he doesn't want to die and leave me and my family grieving. He seemed very sincere. But then on the other hand I have my boyfriend (who I went to for advice and told him the entire situation) telling me that my brother will say anything now to get out from under the radar. He swears its just a downward spiral and that my brother will die if I don't take direct action, i.e. telling my parents and sending him to rehab. Should I tell my parents? It would honestly kill them to find out their son is addicted to heroin, but...losing their son to a heroin overdose would kill them even more so. Should I just wait it out and see what happens from here before I confront my parents? My head is so mixed up, I'm nauseous and have been crying all day...I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place...

04-21-2009, 09:07 PM	#7
la'isla Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Canadian Gender: Female Posts: 2,306	he needs family support and rehab a.s.a.p.

04-22-2009, 10:51 AM	#8
Lyrisae Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Midwest, baby! Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 43	So what kind of withdrawal symptoms should I be looking for...?

04-22-2009, 12:34 PM	#9
Lyrisae Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Midwest, baby! Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 43	One of the worst things is, I feel like I have nobody IRL to go to for advice. I feel so utterly alone in this. I called up my boyfriend yesterday crying my eyes out and told him the situation. His reponse is to insist that I let my parents know. He says otherwise that my brother will die. And he's putting a lot of pressure on me to tell my parents. Also, I asked him not to tell his mom about what was going on with my brother, and yet he did. He told me it was because he felt confused and worried over the situation and so he went to her looking for advice. What? This is my problem, not yours. I'm so frustrated with him, with my brother, with everything right now.

04-22-2009, 01:07 PM	#10
Ac143 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Paradise city.... Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 2,260	Hi Lyrisae, I know you are frustrated with your BF, he shouldnt have told his mom if you asked him not to, but he did & probably because he was worried Your brother will lie & say that its not that bad, or he can quit etc but its VERY VERY hard to quit herion cold turkey. As far as I know its one of the hardest drugs to stop. One of my best friends little sister (she is 22) was addicted to herion for about a year before her friend over dosed & passed away. She then realized she needs to get herself into a rehab. She did 18 months ago & now she's in a half way house still recovering. She did relapse once mid way. Please dont just take your brothers word for it, that he will quit because even if he truly wants to it might be impossible for him to do it alone. I found this site about some withdrawals.. [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] I would tell my parents as well if I was you & get their support. You cant do this alone..How would they feel if something happened & you knew about it but didn't tell them? __________________ Soon to be Mrs... on 6/6/09 & I cannot wait :) We did it!!.......