Wife has "crush on her surgeon"

mwsdpm · 04-11-2009, 11:01 PM

I saw her computer and she had googled "I have a crush on my surgeon" She even went so far as to pay a service for his personal information, got his address and obtained from mapquest driving instructions from her office to his house. He is married and she also has googled his wife. She seems to be looking him up daily and emailing him although frequent but appropriate questions regarding her procedure. Her procedure was last week and I found this out yesterday. I am very screwed up over this but as a physician myself I do seem to think it may be more common then reported. She had a bening brain tumor which most was removed 5 years ago and a recurrence led her to this new dotor who performs radiation therapy. He is our age and relatively handsome. My concerns are that she had left a long term relationship 11 years ago to be with me, it is my second marriage, her first and we have a six year old son. Her follow visit with this doctor is coming up in a few weeks and I want to see if she wants me to go with her. I have always gone in the past. I feel like a dog checking her computer, what a shock, I still feel sick. Thanks for listening/reading.

Sn0man · 04-11-2009, 11:27 PM

Tough situation. I've heard of this before too but always regarding nurses. Go with her when she sees him, don't give her an option.

I really don't know what to tell you about how to approach that situation though, that's a real pickle.

Rabican · 04-11-2009, 11:29 PM

Why are you asking us? Go and confront her about it and ask her what the hell is going on.

WendyO · 04-11-2009, 11:30 PM

Could this be a case of patient-doctor transference and nothing more?

PinkStripes · 04-12-2009, 12:29 AM

How did you find all that she did? That sounds stalker type.

Not what you did, but what she is doing his home address, about his wife?

ScorpiGal83 · 04-12-2009, 01:35 AM

My mum had breast cancer 3 years ago, had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation...

... and she is STILL obsessively 'in love' with her surgeon. She hasn't paid anyone to get his info but she loves going to the hospital for the smallest things if only to get a glimpse of him. Once I wanted to go for my yearly gyno checkup and she wanted to come along to see if she could spot him in the hallways or something.

She has googled him a LOT, found a photo of him on the hospital's website and saved it and stares at it often while listening to music and playing card games on the computer. She sometimes cries and loves telling me and my sisters how in love she s with him. It's sickening. Once she made my youngest sister accompany her to an appointment she had with him and asked my sister to secretly take a photo of him with her mobile phone. She did, and my mum has printed this photo out and keeps it in her wallet.

Also, my mum is usually very moody, but when she's seen her beloved surgeon she's in a GREAT mood for a few days. It's insane and I'm sick to death of it. 3 years!! She even wrote a poem about him calling him her hero.

She and my dad have been married for 35 years, half of that was probably quite unhappy, I'm just wishing they'd get divorced already because my dad has been unfaithful to my mum for like, ever and they don;t love each other. In fact I don't even remember them being affectionate with each other, ever. However, they are cordial with each other and stuff but yeah. should just get divorced!!!

Whew. That turned into quite a long post! Sorry.

missvamp · 04-13-2009, 01:53 AM

I think it is a bit common. In marriage things aren't as exciting as they used to. By having mini crushes that do fade are okay and gets you in that feeling again. She probably was googling his wife to see what kind of women he likes. I have had 2 crushes while being married, but they both didn't last. If it lasts long than I might ask her if she is happy.

Rabican · 04-14-2009, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScorpiGal83

My mum had breast cancer 3 years ago, had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation...

... and she is STILL obsessively 'in love' with her surgeon. She hasn't paid anyone to get his info but she loves going to the hospital for the smallest things if only to get a glimpse of him. Once I wanted to go for my yearly gyno checkup and she wanted to come along to see if she could spot him in the hallways or something.

She has googled him a LOT, found a photo of him on the hospital's website and saved it and stares at it often while listening to music and playing card games on the computer. She sometimes cries and loves telling me and my sisters how in love she s with him. It's sickening. Once she made my youngest sister accompany her to an appointment she had with him and asked my sister to secretly take a photo of him with her mobile phone. She did, and my mum has printed this photo out and keeps it in her wallet.

Also, my mum is usually very moody, but when she's seen her beloved surgeon she's in a GREAT mood for a few days. It's insane and I'm sick to death of it. 3 years!! She even wrote a poem about him calling him her hero.

She and my dad have been married for 35 years, half of that was probably quite unhappy, I'm just wishing they'd get divorced already because my dad has been unfaithful to my mum for like, ever and they don;t love each other. In fact I don't even remember them being affectionate with each other, ever. However, they are cordial with each other and stuff but yeah. should just get divorced!!!

Whew. That turned into quite a long post! Sorry.

Thats nuts... your mom = stalker

Sn0man · 04-14-2009, 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rabican

Thats nuts... your mom = stalker

lol for sure

04-11-2009, 11:01 PM	#1
mwsdpm Offline Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1	Wife has "crush on her surgeon" I saw her computer and she had googled "I have a crush on my surgeon" She even went so far as to pay a service for his personal information, got his address and obtained from mapquest driving instructions from her office to his house. He is married and she also has googled his wife. She seems to be looking him up daily and emailing him although frequent but appropriate questions regarding her procedure. Her procedure was last week and I found this out yesterday. I am very screwed up over this but as a physician myself I do seem to think it may be more common then reported. She had a bening brain tumor which most was removed 5 years ago and a recurrence led her to this new dotor who performs radiation therapy. He is our age and relatively handsome. My concerns are that she had left a long term relationship 11 years ago to be with me, it is my second marriage, her first and we have a six year old son. Her follow visit with this doctor is coming up in a few weeks and I want to see if she wants me to go with her. I have always gone in the past. I feel like a dog checking her computer, what a shock, I still feel sick. Thanks for listening/reading.

04-11-2009, 11:27 PM	#2
Sn0man Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: BC Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 2,163	Tough situation. I've heard of this before too but always regarding nurses. Go with her when she sees him, don't give her an option. I really don't know what to tell you about how to approach that situation though, that's a real pickle. __________________ I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It's hitting below the intellect. If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.

04-12-2009, 01:35 AM	#6
ScorpiGal83 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 677	My mum had breast cancer 3 years ago, had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation... ... and she is STILL obsessively 'in love' with her surgeon. She hasn't paid anyone to get his info but she loves going to the hospital for the smallest things if only to get a glimpse of him. Once I wanted to go for my yearly gyno checkup and she wanted to come along to see if she could spot him in the hallways or something. She has googled him a LOT, found a photo of him on the hospital's website and saved it and stares at it often while listening to music and playing card games on the computer. She sometimes cries and loves telling me and my sisters how in love she s with him. It's sickening. Once she made my youngest sister accompany her to an appointment she had with him and asked my sister to secretly take a photo of him with her mobile phone. She did, and my mum has printed this photo out and keeps it in her wallet. Also, my mum is usually very moody, but when she's seen her beloved surgeon she's in a GREAT mood for a few days. It's insane and I'm sick to death of it. 3 years!! She even wrote a poem about him calling him her hero. She and my dad have been married for 35 years, half of that was probably quite unhappy, I'm just wishing they'd get divorced already because my dad has been unfaithful to my mum for like, ever and they don;t love each other. In fact I don't even remember them being affectionate with each other, ever. However, they are cordial with each other and stuff but yeah. should just get divorced!!! Whew. That turned into quite a long post! Sorry. __________________ For a minute there, I lost myself... -- "Don't you just love goodbyes?" - '156', Mew "Conquer yourself, rather than the world." - Descartes

04-11-2009, 11:29 PM	#3
Rabican Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: FL Gender: Male Age: 29 Posts: 2,086	Why are you asking us? Go and confront her about it and ask her what the hell is going on.

04-11-2009, 11:30 PM	#4
WendyO Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: In the warmth of the USA Gender: Female Posts: 192	Could this be a case of patient-doctor transference and nothing more?

04-12-2009, 12:29 AM	#5
PinkStripes Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 43	How did you find all that she did? That sounds stalker type. Not what you did, but what she is doing his home address, about his wife?

04-13-2009, 01:53 AM	#7
missvamp Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 15	I think it is a bit common. In marriage things aren't as exciting as they used to. By having mini crushes that do fade are okay and gets you in that feeling again. She probably was googling his wife to see what kind of women he likes. I have had 2 crushes while being married, but they both didn't last. If it lasts long than I might ask her if she is happy.