Addicted

caligirl98 · 04-09-2009, 03:49 PM

Addicted. This is how I feel about my ex. I feel this is like an addiction I have to overcome. I started NC and now I’m going through the withdrawl phase. Hopefully this will pass soon and I can live my life without craving the addiction.

We get weak at times with our addiction and tell ourselves we just need it once more and then we will stop it. Like a smoker needing one more smoke…I feel like that. I want to talk to my ex “one last time”. Well…that last time turns into the 2nd to last time because then there is another time when I get weak and say “THIS will be the last time” and so on and so on….

I’m on day 6 of NC after 3 months of NC on and off…this time I’m stronger and am committed to trying and stay “clean” and off my drug of choice…my ex.

I love how we all support each other here. It’s like heartbroken anonymous.

We can get through it. We have to! Or else our ex will always have a hold and have power over us! NC is the way to get clean.

I was listening to this song and can totally relate.
It’s by Kelly Clarkson and it’s called “Addicted”

My fave part….

“I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this”

Below are all the lyrics…I bolded the ones that stand out to me

“It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

Chorus
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now

Chorus repeat

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this

Chorus repeat”

LemonCheesecak · 04-09-2009, 03:59 PM

I wrote something with a similar theme last month when I was feeling pretty low, it was a bit darker than that though haha!

But that's exactly what its like, an addiction. And that's why we have to take it day by day, it's not something that you get over overnight.

heartbroken9 · 04-09-2009, 04:21 PM

You are so right..I feel like that all the time..I always tell myself.."just one more time" and it only ends up hurting me more..BUT this post was so positive. We can def. get through it! =)

canali · 04-09-2009, 04:57 PM

there ARE actual biochemical processes in our brains when we hook up to someone so yes there is some basis in this...but it is also the way we CLING to illusions that are no longer valid ie, our beliefs, unmet needs, self confidence in general etc.

i liken breaking up to both an addiction and also a real injury: we have to show ourselves both discipline (NC and other plans to heal) and loving compassion, ie, if you have a broken arm or strained muscle you wouldn't just 'wish' or 'think' it better, right? ..it takes time to heal ..but some of us needlessly prolong our suffering, too.

04-09-2009, 03:49 PM	#1
caligirl98 Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 20	Addicted Addicted. This is how I feel about my ex. I feel this is like an addiction I have to overcome. I started NC and now I’m going through the withdrawl phase. Hopefully this will pass soon and I can live my life without craving the addiction. We get weak at times with our addiction and tell ourselves we just need it once more and then we will stop it. Like a smoker needing one more smoke…I feel like that. I want to talk to my ex “one last time”. Well…that last time turns into the 2nd to last time because then there is another time when I get weak and say “THIS will be the last time” and so on and so on…. I’m on day 6 of NC after 3 months of NC on and off…this time I’m stronger and am committed to trying and stay “clean” and off my drug of choice…my ex. I love how we all support each other here. It’s like heartbroken anonymous. We can get through it. We have to! Or else our ex will always have a hold and have power over us! NC is the way to get clean. I was listening to this song and can totally relate. It’s by Kelly Clarkson and it’s called “Addicted” My fave part…. “I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this” Below are all the lyrics…I bolded the ones that stand out to me “It's like you're a drug It's like you're a demon I can't face down It's like I'm stuck It's like I'm running from you all the time And I know I let you have all the power It's like the only company I seek is misery all around It's like you're a leech Sucking the life from me It's like I can't breathe Without you inside of me And I know I let you have all the power And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time Chorus It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm lost It's like I'm giving up slowly It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me Leave me alone And I know these voices in my head Are mine alone And I know I'll never change my ways If I don't give you up now Chorus repeat I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this Chorus repeat”

04-09-2009, 03:59 PM	#2
LemonCheesecak Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: United Kingdom Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 427	I wrote something with a similar theme last month when I was feeling pretty low, it was a bit darker than that though haha! But that's exactly what its like, an addiction. And that's why we have to take it day by day, it's not something that you get over overnight. __________________ Illusions, Dad! You don't have time for my illusions! I'm not above electroshock therapy or a full lobotomy to find an appropriate suitor - paintedfish

04-09-2009, 04:21 PM	#3
heartbroken9 Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 103	You are so right..I feel like that all the time..I always tell myself.."just one more time" and it only ends up hurting me more..BUT this post was so positive. We can def. get through it! =)

04-09-2009, 04:57 PM	#4
canali Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Vancouver BC Gender: Male Posts: 754	there ARE actual biochemical processes in our brains when we hook up to someone so yes there is some basis in this...but it is also the way we CLING to illusions that are no longer valid ie, our beliefs, unmet needs, self confidence in general etc. i liken breaking up to both an addiction and also a real injury: we have to show ourselves both discipline (NC and other plans to heal) and loving compassion, ie, if you have a broken arm or strained muscle you wouldn't just 'wish' or 'think' it better, right? ..it takes time to heal ..but some of us needlessly prolong our suffering, too.