Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 46
  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    31
    Posts
    140
    Gender
    Male

    Do dating sites work for shy people who have never dated before?

    So, it's getting ridiculous at my age that I haven't even been on a first date. I've always been shy around women, but I'm trying to break out of that now. I'm thinking about joining a dating site, but are dating sites good for people who have no dating experience (especially in their mid to late 20s?)

    I honestly don't know whether to click the signup button, or declare myself celibate and a bachelor for life. I'm having no luck meeting women in real life, since I'm so shy, and they always turn out to be my friend. The dating sites might be a good avenue for meeting women another way, but do they really work?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ellandroader's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1,002
    Gender
    Male
    I would say they can work, as it kind of forces others to get to know you a bit before meeting, which as a shy guy too, I can understand is difficult in the social arena.

    However you do need a thick skin as you can get rejected on there still, or someone who you email back and forth with may suddenly disappear.

    It's worth a go, just choose a reputable site especially if you want someone serious.

    Good Luck!
    "It is more shameful to deny fear, than it is to run from danger...."

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    31
    Posts
    140
    Gender
    Male
    Can you recommend a good dating site? I know about Plenty of Fish, but I'm not sure how good that one is.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ellandroader's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    1,002
    Gender
    Male
    Hmmm...the paid ones tend to be the better ones (I don't think you are allowed to name other websites on this board). Anybody seeking a casual fling/hookup is less likely to pay for the privilege in my opinion.
    "It is more shameful to deny fear, than it is to run from danger...."

  5. #5
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    256
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by WorkingInLin View Post
    So, it's getting ridiculous at my age that I haven't even been on a first date. I've always been shy around women, but I'm trying to break out of that now. I'm thinking about joining a dating site, but are dating sites good for people who have no dating experience (especially in their mid to late 20s?)

    I honestly don't know whether to click the signup button, or declare myself celibate and a bachelor for life. I'm having no luck meeting women in real life, since I'm so shy, and they always turn out to be my friend. The dating sites might be a good avenue for meeting women another way, but do they really work?
    Perhaps a religious site, if you've put it off for religious reasons, if just shyness, you're going to have an unpleasant experience and face lots of rejection. How you handle it is the real question.

  6. #6
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Southern Cal
    Posts
    7
    Gender
    Male
    I was in a similar situation and started with POF. I looked at it as good practice.

    My advice is that before you start shelling out $20+ a month, sign up with POF and start building a profile. You'll eventually find out what works and what doesn't, and you can get together a good collection of profile pictures to use. Also, you'll get some practice with how to write messages that are more likely to get a response. Finally, you might even get in some practice dates. Once you have a few under your belt and have some idea of what type of person you're looking for (or not looking for), then I would say go ahead give a pay site a chance.

  7. #7
    Silver Member MD Geist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Socal
    Age
    28
    Posts
    2,608
    Gender
    Male
    I would start off with the free dating sites first to see how it works out for you then work your way up to the pay sites.

    Thats what I did.
    Formerly known as Madoc

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    31
    Posts
    140
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by steve33 View Post
    Perhaps a religious site, if you've put it off for religious reasons, if just shyness, you're going to have an unpleasant experience and face lots of rejection. How you handle it is the real question.
    The problem is, while I have no problem with religion, I'm not really religious. I wouldn't have any issue with dating a Christian woman, but she's going to wonder why I don't go to church or why I'm disinterested in it.

    It's shyness that's kept me from dating. And I guess you're right, I'll face lots of rejection. I'm fine with that, as long as I meet someone worth dating and marrying in the end.

    I've signed up with a free site, and I'm working on a profile. I'll have to see how things go, and whether to stay with this prospect.

  9. #9
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    479
    Quote Originally Posted by steve33 View Post
    Perhaps a religious site, if you've put it off for religious reasons, if just shyness, you're going to have an unpleasant experience and face lots of rejection. How you handle it is the real question.
    Why is he going to face a lot of rejections?Is it because he is shy?Or do most guys get rejected a lot on dating sites? No one really knows anyone on a dating site,what happens in person ultimately will decide how it will turn out.How is any woman on a dating site going to know that he is shy and inexperienced unless he tells them?Most women will look at his pic and decide if they find him cute or not and decide to meet him in person,based on his appearance.

  10. #10
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    256
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by bostonbruins24 View Post
    Why is he going to face a lot of rejections?Is it because he is shy?Or do most guys get rejected a lot on dating sites? No one really knows anyone on a dating site,what happens in person ultimately will decide how it will turn out.How is any woman on a dating site going to know that he is shy and inexperienced unless he tells them?Most women will look at his pic and decide if they find him cute or not and decide to meet him in person,based on his appearance.
    Dating sites are no different than in person dating. You will face lots of rejection. It's guys that aren't phased by rejection that succeed. You can still meet up and get rejected. It's not all just the picture, but how you connect, and you can only figure that out by meeting. He needs to be prepared to handle rejection. Remember, most relationships, and even more dates, fail. Most dates don't lead to relationships, and the ones that do, most relationships don't last to marriage, and most marriages end in divorce. That's life. Those that handle rejection well win.

Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Contrary to the common belief that online dating is only for the young individuals, the new research by two Bowling Green State University professors ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
How much are men willing to spend while dating highly depends on a number of women available around them, claims a new research by the University of ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It turns out that the real problem for unemployed men is not that they cannot pay their bills, but that they actually cannot get dates, a new survey ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
Chat
$3.49/minute
Having a tough time on the dating scene? Lets figure out how to get you ready to find the love that you are looking for.
Online
Chat
$1.75/minute
Either newly single or not, dating can be a challenging experience. I am here to help get you through this challenging (but exciting) time of your life.
Online
CallChat
$2.67/minute
Problems with dating? Problems with dating AGAIN after many years of being with a partner? Let me help you navigate the dating world today!
Online
Call
$1.65/minute
Feeling Overwhelmed with Life or Relationships? I will Listen with Compassion & Acceptance & Offer Practical Healing Advice. My 20 Years of Professional Experience can help!
Online
Call
$2.65/minute
Are you a good conversationalist? All relationships including a first date, a proposal, a business meeting,….thrive on conversation. Let me help you become a better one.