Does dating a religious man uphold a different standard?

lilred · 04-05-2009, 03:29 AM

So I've been dating a really chrisitain guy for about 6 weeks, and we've gone on 6-7 dates, but I just am not sure if he is into me since he hasn't even made one single move yet.

I mean we go out and have a really good time, but i'm just so weirded out by the fact that he is so non-physical with me. I'm talking NO touching whatsoever.

Pretty much i'm just wondering it this is "normal" after so many dates for a religious guy to be acting. I'm always wondering, does he like me at all? or is this normal to take it THIS slow when you are dating someone religious.

Thanks.

Bad Wolf · 04-05-2009, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilred

So I've been dating a really chrisitain guy for about 6 weeks, and we've gone on 6-7 dates, but I just am not sure if he is into me since he hasn't even made one single move yet.

I mean we go out and have a really good time, but i'm just so weirded out by the fact that he is so non-physical with me. I'm talking NO touching whatsoever.

Pretty much i'm just wondering it this is "normal" after so many dates for a religious guy to be acting. I'm always wondering, does he like me at all? or is this normal to take it THIS slow when you are dating someone religious.

Thanks.

6-7 dates and he STILL hasn't kissed you? How... boring. Have you tried to kiss him?

velvette · 04-05-2009, 03:44 AM

has he ever dated before??
we dated like 150 times before our first kiss, no joke. (1 date per day, 5 months, more or less) and we're not christian. (; different people have different speeds. just talk to him about it. either he's nervous, wants to go slow, or not that interested. only he knows!

FortunateOne · 04-05-2009, 06:45 AM

This is a tough query since you say he is "really Christian" but his dating actions aren't what a true devotee of Christ would do; hence, he may be what we call in the church a watered-down Christian. I'm a true Christian man and we're advices by the holy book to only date an "equally" yoked Christian woman. We are not to date secular women since it corupts the Christian heart with outside "worldly" influences.

My best guess is he a trying to bring you to know, accept and love Christ as a friend. Then once you have become worthy in God's grace then you both can explore a possible romantic relationship. Or, he is insecure in his faith and is flirting with a secular woman which is what we call a backsliding Christian.

Either way I, as a mature man if Christ, suggest you find out what your intent is so you can be honest with him and he can decide if faith is thicker then lust. You may have to walk away from this if the both of you can't see eye to eye on the faith issue.

offplanet · 04-05-2009, 08:30 AM

I used to be very religious and I think it's very likely that he considers premarital sex, making out or whatever to be wrong, ie. goes against his Christian convictions. That's if he is a very strict Christian. You could always ask him about his beliefs. Best to know where you stand.

TheSmilingTurnip · 04-05-2009, 10:06 AM

You know...the question is not really about him. No one can read his mind. The question is how do you feel about it? Do you like him so much that the physicality is something you're willing to wait on?

Another question -- why not just ask him what his thoughts are on the physical side of romance? We don't know what he's thinking. He does. So I would ask the source.

And one more thing -- why not just enjoy the time anyway and don't worry about the outcome? I would recommend really just enjoying getting to know him. Many times folks get physical too fast before the other parts of the relationship have really developed. So just enjoy it, whatever speed it's moving at.

timetogrow · 04-05-2009, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilred

So I've been dating a really chrisitain guy for about 6 weeks, and we've gone on 6-7 dates, but I just am not sure if he is into me since he hasn't even made one single move yet.

I mean we go out and have a really good time, but i'm just so weirded out by the fact that he is so non-physical with me. I'm talking NO touching whatsoever.

Pretty much i'm just wondering it this is "normal" after so many dates for a religious guy to be acting. I'm always wondering, does he like me at all? or is this normal to take it THIS slow when you are dating someone religious.

Thanks.

I suggest you stop dating him anymore. Trust me the outcomes will be disastrous if you go deep into the relationship. He being a christian will NEVER consider you as a compatible S/O unless you are also a faithful christian and strongly share and love the same beliefs as does. Some christians are just like this, dating someone who is non christian and then cut it off saying "we are not sharing the same values in life" . Some will always try to convert you to a christian and preach to you on God all the time and you will feel like that you can NEVER start up a convesation with him without him preaching to you on God and bible. It sucks!

I know it well because my ex is just like this. All her happinesses stem from her connection with her God. And God is the main reason she is living for. Trust me. End this relationship asap. It will lead to nothing but regrets in the end. Dont waste your time on it. Find someone who is more compatible to go with.

yellowcal · 04-05-2009, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by timetogrow

I suggest you stop dating him anymore. Trust me the outcomes will be disastrous if you go deep into the relationship. He being a christian will NEVER consider you as a compatible S/O unless you are also a faithful christian and strongly share and love the same beliefs as does. Some christians are just like this, dating someone who is non christian and then cut it off saying "we are not sharing the same values in life" . Some will always try to convert you to a christian and preach to you on God all the time and you will feel like that you can NEVER start up a convesation with him without him preaching to you on God and bible. It sucks!

I know it well because my ex is just like this. All her happinesses stem from her connection with her God. And God is the main reason she is living for. Trust me. End this relationship asap. It will lead to nothing but regrets in the end. Dont waste your time on it. Find someone who is more compatible to go with.

I second this.

I dated a devoted Christian guy for (maybe) 4 months and while the beginning of the relationship seemed great the farther along we got the worse it got. I never upheld his "standards" so I was always below him and he made sure to keep this at point and always would let me know that I was below him because of my beliefs and I could never uphold his standards as long as I didn't believe what HE believed. I lived every day with his preaching to me and then finally he was like "you either need to convert to my religion or we are done" that was that. Any devout Christian isn't going to date someone who isn't a Christian themselves because it is against their "beliefs"

timetogrow · 04-05-2009, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellowcal

I second this.

I dated a devoted Christian guy for (maybe) 4 months and while the beginning of the relationship seemed great the farther along we got the worse it got. I never upheld his "standards" so I was always below him and he made sure to keep this at point and always would let me know that I was below him because of my beliefs and I could never uphold his standards as long as I didn't believe what HE believed. I lived every day with his preaching to me and then finally he was like "you either need to convert to my religion or we are done" that was that. Any devout Christian isn't going to date someone who isn't a Christian themselves because it is against their "beliefs"

So consider yourself lucky to have dodged this guy. I hope christians will ONLY date christians and NOT date and then hurt someones who aren't christians in relationships. After my failure relationship with my ex, who is deeply and insanely religious, i have made up my mind that i will NEVER date religious women in the future.

It grossed me out to hear her gushing over god and how i am going to hell just because i dont believe jesus the old man! She is always saying how god loves her and how she loves god and how god is everything to her. She is so into her religion till she neglects her quality time with her family. She doesn't want to spend time with her mom on weekend because she wants to be in church. She considers her mom her enemy because her mom doesn't encourge her work in the church. She is always talking about "love" in her mouth but she doesn't know she stains "love".

Ms Darcy · 04-06-2009, 12:55 PM

I suggest asking him before coming up with any solid conclusions. My bf isn't 'really Christian' but he's fairly devout. I'm not. He accepts me and I accept him. Just know what you want in terms of physical contact, see where he is, and assess if your values are compatible.

04-05-2009, 03:29 AM	#1
lilred Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Age: 30 Posts: 152	Does dating a religious man uphold a different standard? So I've been dating a really chrisitain guy for about 6 weeks, and we've gone on 6-7 dates, but I just am not sure if he is into me since he hasn't even made one single move yet. I mean we go out and have a really good time, but i'm just so weirded out by the fact that he is so non-physical with me. I'm talking NO touching whatsoever. Pretty much i'm just wondering it this is "normal" after so many dates for a religious guy to be acting. I'm always wondering, does he like me at all? or is this normal to take it THIS slow when you are dating someone religious. Thanks.

04-05-2009, 06:45 AM	#4
FortunateOne Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: SoCal., USA Gender: Male Posts: 1,540	This is a tough query since you say he is "really Christian" but his dating actions aren't what a true devotee of Christ would do; hence, he may be what we call in the church a watered-down Christian. I'm a true Christian man and we're advices by the holy book to only date an "equally" yoked Christian woman. We are not to date secular women since it corupts the Christian heart with outside "worldly" influences. My best guess is he a trying to bring you to know, accept and love Christ as a friend. Then once you have become worthy in God's grace then you both can explore a possible romantic relationship. Or, he is insecure in his faith and is flirting with a secular woman which is what we call a backsliding Christian. Either way I, as a mature man if Christ, suggest you find out what your intent is so you can be honest with him and he can decide if faith is thicker then lust. You may have to walk away from this if the both of you can't see eye to eye on the faith issue. __________________ <<--------- Thomas Kinkade "Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."- Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20 (NLT)

04-05-2009, 10:06 AM	#6
TheSmilingTurnip Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2005 Age: 33 Posts: 2,042	You know...the question is not really about him. No one can read his mind. The question is how do you feel about it? Do you like him so much that the physicality is something you're willing to wait on? Another question -- why not just ask him what his thoughts are on the physical side of romance? We don't know what he's thinking. He does. So I would ask the source. And one more thing -- why not just enjoy the time anyway and don't worry about the outcome? I would recommend really just enjoying getting to know him. Many times folks get physical too fast before the other parts of the relationship have really developed. So just enjoy it, whatever speed it's moving at. __________________ BOUNDARIES...where you end and someone else begins. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty." ~ Kevin Bacon on keeping marriage together.

04-05-2009, 03:44 AM	#3
velvette Offline Silver Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 483	has he ever dated before?? we dated like 150 times before our first kiss, no joke. (1 date per day, 5 months, more or less) and we're not christian. (; different people have different speeds. just talk to him about it. either he's nervous, wants to go slow, or not that interested. only he knows!

04-05-2009, 08:30 AM	#5
offplanet Offline Silver Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 358	I used to be very religious and I think it's very likely that he considers premarital sex, making out or whatever to be wrong, ie. goes against his Christian convictions. That's if he is a very strict Christian. You could always ask him about his beliefs. Best to know where you stand.

04-06-2009, 12:55 PM	#10
Ms Darcy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: United States Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 2,080	I suggest asking him before coming up with any solid conclusions. My bf isn't 'really Christian' but he's fairly devout. I'm not. He accepts me and I accept him. Just know what you want in terms of physical contact, see where he is, and assess if your values are compatible.