the EX...

RRonly · 03-13-2009, 11:25 AM

So.. me and this guy has been dating for about 3 months now, everything has been great I would say, we are very happy each other..

except... ...

it seems like he has problem letting go of his ex..

i mean he doesnt talk to her much.. but he tells me that he feels bad breaking up with her.. and he feels bad not talking to her etc. he said he's trying very hard to not talk to her b/c he noes I dont like it... and he'd do it for me yadayada..

yesterday, his ex came over to visit his *housemates* (ppl he share a house with)... i just felt very uncomfortable and went out with a friend... and he tells me im stupid for acting this way...

but he's the one that tells me that he doesnt wanna cut her outta his life and %$$&*^$%^$

am i over reacting???

chaosa · 03-13-2009, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RRonly

So.. me and this guy has been dating for about 3 months now, everything has been great I would say, we are very happy each other..

except... ...

it seems like he has problem letting go of his ex..

i mean he doesnt talk to her much.. but he tells me that he feels bad breaking up with her.. and he feels bad not talking to her etc. he said he's trying very hard to not talk to her b/c he noes I dont like it... and he'd do it for me yadayada..

yesterday, his ex came over to visit his *housemates* (ppl he share a house with)... i just felt very uncomfortable and went out with a friend... and he tells me im stupid for acting this way...

but he's the one that tells me that he doesnt wanna cut her outta his life and %$$&*^$%^$

am i over reacting???

Um...far from it. Your guy obviously still has feelings for her. I don't think it's right that she comes over to his house, despite the fact that she's visiting his roomates. That's like salt in the wound. He needs to resolve his issues with her before he can fully commit to you.

Moz · 03-13-2009, 11:50 AM

I don't think you can stop his ex coming over to visit, I mean she is free to come and go. You need to talk to him and explain how you feel, seriously though I do think you need to give some thought to this relationship, he is constantly teeling you he feels bad...that is worrying as it's seems to me like he'd jump at the chance to see her again and hwere would that leave you. I'd explain to him your fears and that he does need to let go, I mean, it's been 3 months now, how much longer is this going to take to get over a break up?

How long were they together?

RRonly · 03-13-2009, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moz

I don't think you can stop his ex coming over to visit, I mean she is free to come and go. You need to talk to him and explain how you feel, seriously though I do think you need to give some thought to this relationship, he is constantly teeling you he feels bad...that is worrying as it's seems to me like he'd jump at the chance to see her again and hwere would that leave you. I'd explain to him your fears and that he does need to let go, I mean, it's been 3 months now, how much longer is this going to take to get over a break up?

How long were they together?

they were together for 3+ years... I told him how I felt.. but he says Im being stupid for feelingi this way b/c hes with me and he tries not to see/talk to her

I totally agree wat you said she has the right to come and go, and I'm not mad at HIM for that, but I think I have every right to be unhappy that she's here... and be unhappy with him telling me that he feels bad about cutting her outta his life, and he doesnt wanna do that etc... despite the fact he "tries" to do it to make me happy...

ghost69 · 03-13-2009, 12:00 PM

they wrote a song for this

'run, run, run run awaaaaaaay'

Anna. · 03-13-2009, 12:19 PM

No you are not overreacting. He's being insensitive. If he was completely ready for a new relationship, these issues wouldn't be there.

I hate to ask, but are you sure he's not dating you to get at her?

RRonly · 03-13-2009, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna.

No you are not overreacting. He's being insensitive. If he was completely ready for a new relationship, these issues wouldn't be there.

I hate to ask, but are you sure he's not dating you to get at her?

you noe wat.. i never thought of it that way...
he always says he thinks that im the ONE for him.. and he's happy with me and stuff

but come to think of it... he is more worried about my weight than i am (and i am by no means at all fat... and iam already VERY conscious about my diet/gym etc)... he's even called me his *trophy gf* b4...

maybe subconsciously he is....

03-13-2009, 11:25 AM	#1
RRonly Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 50	the EX... So.. me and this guy has been dating for about 3 months now, everything has been great I would say, we are very happy each other.. except... ... it seems like he has problem letting go of his ex.. i mean he doesnt talk to her much.. but he tells me that he feels bad breaking up with her.. and he feels bad not talking to her etc. he said he's trying very hard to not talk to her b/c he noes I dont like it... and he'd do it for me yadayada.. yesterday, his ex came over to visit his housemates (ppl he share a house with)... i just felt very uncomfortable and went out with a friend... and he tells me im stupid for acting this way... but he's the one that tells me that he doesnt wanna cut her outta his life and %$$&*^$%^$ am i over reacting???

03-13-2009, 12:00 PM	#5
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,424	they wrote a song for this 'run, run, run run awaaaaaaay' __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

03-13-2009, 12:19 PM	#6
Anna. Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: the South US Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 836	No you are not overreacting. He's being insensitive. If he was completely ready for a new relationship, these issues wouldn't be there. I hate to ask, but are you sure he's not dating you to get at her? __________________ I opened my eyes And looked up at the rain And it dripped in my head And flowed in my brain, And all that I hear as I lie in my bed Is the slisity-slosh of the rain in my head. -Shel Silverstein

03-13-2009, 11:50 AM	#3
Moz Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Posts: 241	I don't think you can stop his ex coming over to visit, I mean she is free to come and go. You need to talk to him and explain how you feel, seriously though I do think you need to give some thought to this relationship, he is constantly teeling you he feels bad...that is worrying as it's seems to me like he'd jump at the chance to see her again and hwere would that leave you. I'd explain to him your fears and that he does need to let go, I mean, it's been 3 months now, how much longer is this going to take to get over a break up? How long were they together?