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  1. #1
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    How to forget my ex husband

    I've been with my husband for seven years,he was in love with me since then until he has given lift to work with a girl that he work with since February 2008 and he start seen this girl since July 2008.
    I didnt know till February 2009.
    When he start seen this his girl, he always got angry, argue and swearing all the time. He said he wasnt happy because I dont want to do anything!
    I think,I didnt want to do anything because he always unconfortable to be with me anymore because he wanted to spend time with his girl.
    The woman that he has seen is works with him and work at the same team.

    When I had enough with his behaviour,I had lie to him that I've seen someone else just to make him angry because I knew there was something wrong and everyone I talk about him think that he has another girl.

    just a week ago I left my house and move somewhere else because the truth about him and his girl was came up.
    he didnt wanted to tell me and just blame me for what he has done because I didnt make him happy.

    Everyday before I move, he keep upset and come and cry. he told me that he will drop everything for me to take him back.
    but he need some time to think about it because he is in love to his girl.
    I thought maybe he will change and our married will got better cause he learn his mistake.
    I also I still love him and I want to live with him for the rest of my life.

    He is staying with this girl at her house all the time, but he told me that he wants to be alone and short out his messed with this girl.
    he said he was confuse, when he was with this girl he thinks about me and when he was with me he thinks about this girl.

    I also confuse with what he wants, because he comes to me told me that we will be together in 2 months time because he needs time to think about what he wants because he still confuse.
    I thought that he really mean it because he comes and cry and told me to wait without doing something permanent to my self like, seen other guy and get pregnant.
    or dont buy too many things for my new flat because we gonna going back together.
    I believe all of that because I thought he mean it!

    Yesterday I found out that he didnt stay on his own in our old house but he was spending time with this girl.
    He didnt answer my call, he ignored my text message and until I told him if he dont call me back then I will go to his girlfriend house and wait for him because I need to talk.
    He was worry that I was gonna do it then he call me and come to see me last night to talk to me.

    He said he didnt ask me to wait for him and he told me to move on to my life until two months time and he will give me an anwer.
    but in my few, I dont think he was trying to clear his head from his confuse feeling about me and this girl.
    he ask me to wait for him and and the same time he spend time with this girl, he just try to get to know her better and if its doesnt work and he can comeback to me!
    I think he takes advantage on me because I love him so much and I always feel sorry when he comes to me and cry.

    I still love him and so difficult for me to ignore him when he call me and tell me a nice dream about a future if we got back together.

    I really dont know what to do!
    I want to hate him and ignore him but its too difficult for me because I love him. I try to be a really nice and gentle to him but he keep hurt me more everyday.
    I cry and lock my self in my bedroom because every time I go out I am so scare to see him with his girl friend because its gonna hurt me.
    sometimes I go out from my house people told me that they saw my husband with a girl.
    I am foreign in this country and I am here because my husband, in this town we live I have nice job and better money and I was lucky to have this job and I dont think I can find another job like that.

    Please tell me how to ignore this man and tell him something that hurt his feeling.
    I dont know what on his mind and why he enjoy watch me suffering.
    I dont think he will be a good husband for me if we get back together, I just want to try to forget about him and ignore him and move on to my new life without him.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    he just wants both of you, and you need to leave him, and look after yourself.
    Rest in peace Sam <3 Solstice <3 Mewskitty

    BSc in Psychology - next goal - clinical neuropsychologist!

    I can do it! I will do it! I want to do it! I will succeed! I have a goal, and I WILL achieve it!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member dreamwarrior's Avatar
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    Will you please let this guy alone...he is confused??? Hey he should have stopped being confused the day he put the ring on your finger. He is using you for christ sakes!!! Don't you dare put your life on hold so he can decide what he wants.

    I am not an advocate for divorce, but I have to say in certain cases such as this it's time for you to give him the end of your shoe~
    "If you can't do better for me than what I am doing for myself don't waste my time or yours". ~dreamwarrior~

    <--------------My Son

    The only limitations in life are the ones in your mind. ~dreamwarrior~

  4. #4
    Bronze Member ColorBlue's Avatar
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    Tell him that its "Now or never". I will never understand how someone can "love" two people at the same time like that. Its just plain ridiculous. You've probably got it completely right there when you said that he's probably just using the time to get to know her better and if it doesn't work out he can come back to you. DON'T give him the chance, he's just using you. People like this don't deserve second chances, especially when they're as manipulative as he is. He comes back crying and saying "I CAN CHANGE! I CAN CHANGE!", yet its an utter lie. The only change in his mind is "Well, if it doesn't work out with this girl, I can always go back to my wife!". He probably thinks you'll fall for it too.

    Like I said, Tell him something like "If you don't make a decision by tomorrow, you can forget about coming back forever.". He will no doubt try to argue with you and beg you to give him his 2 months time (Why anyone would need THAT long to figure out their feelings is pure bs), but you can't allow him to get his way. He's a horrible person.

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  6. #5
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    Do not wait for him you are a person, you should feel respected...he is not respecting you and is currently DOING nothing to sort out his'Confusions apart from sleeping and literally living with another girl No contact will force him to make decsions, You are feeling very humiliated and alone right now. try and refocus go and seek some professional advice. Stop your thoughts from focusing on you and your husband and start making each day about YOU..just you and how you can make each day happier for yourself.. Sart getting imvolved in some hobbies that you enjoy..get healthy...get busy...stop sitting like a waiting duck you will be far more attractive if you show your strength NOT your neediness . I know how hard it is but believe in yourself.. and make tommorrow your first day to start focusing on yourself and what you need to do to make each day a little better...contact with your husband is making you more upset..its best you not know for now...and Im sure he will be shocked IF you are not waiting for him but living your life independantly...give yourself all the time you need trust me each day/week you will feel differently...just try and do your best, good luck..

  7. #6
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    Please, I am begging you; do not let this guy string you along like this! He is telling you to wait for him for two months, while he is living with/spending time with another girl?? THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. Cut all ties with him immediately; he does not love you enough to deserve you, and asides from that, he does not seem to be a very good person!

    Basically, he wants this girl who he finds new and exciting (but who he, if their relationship continues to develop, will probably end up treating the same way he treated you), but he still wants you to love him and want him. Trust me, the minute you start moving on, he will start getting fearful and tell you stories of your "future" together to try to suck you back in. DO NOT ALLOW IT. He has wronged you in so many ways; there is no way of righting it. Let him have this girl; he will regret it anyways.

    So please, move on. I know it's hard, but your life will thank you for it. There are plenty fish in the sea, fish that will treat you WAY better than this. I mean, do you really want someone who is THAT unsure of their feelings for you?? Find someone who loves you endlessly. I do realize how much you love him, and therefore how hard it will be to move on, but just trust me - time DOES heal all wounds. If you cut him out of your life immediately, I swear to God you will run into him on the street one day and think 'What did I ever see in him?' and feel NOTHING.

    Remember, he is not being serious when he talks about your "future"; he is just making sure you think there's hope so that you won't ever move on. He must be incredibly selfish...

  8. #7

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    My husband is bust.....

    I have the same situation.I am married for 7 years and i have 2 kids.Abot 2 years ago my husband start dateing with his coworker girl and I knew that all the time ,we wear fighting all the time he promissed me to forget her thousand times but...... than he blame me that he want "warm" and i don't have it and now he has affair with her first love (she has child and husband)oh.. its so terrible.... I know one thing ...he doesn't deserve wife like me and i know he'll realise everthing soon but i just don't care anymore.i love him but i know that beeing with him will distroy my life so I ignore him from now! and it helps ...I hope it will help me to foret him forever!!! I WANT IT VERY MUCH !!!!!sorry for my english

  9. #8
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    Seriously?? You need us to tell you how to ignore him?

    It's easy.

    Change your number and don't give it to him. Block his emails. Don't accept any communication from him. None whatsoever. Move on with your life.

    However, if you're not ready to take these steps because, for some reason you enjoy being emotionally abused, there's not much we can do to help.

    I agree with the other posters-he's not confused. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too. Pls don't let him-you'll lose your own self-respect. No man is worth that, least of all one who can't respect you or his marriage vows.

    Quote Originally Posted by myria View Post
    Please tell me how to ignore this man and tell him something that hurt his feeling.
    I dont know what on his mind and why he enjoy watch me suffering.
    I dont think he will be a good husband for me if we get back together, I just want to try to forget about him and ignore him and move on to my new life without him.

  10. #9
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    My heart goes out to both you and the OP. I am so sorry you're going through this suffering.

    However, I have to ask both of you...what on earth could you possibly LOVE about these men?

    They destroyed your trust-they cheated-they lied-they disrespected you every way possible.

    They're both scum, frankly, and I wonder what your qualifications for "love" must be to continue loving someone who would step all over you like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by geronima View Post
    I have the same situation.I am married for 7 years and i have 2 kids.Abot 2 years ago my husband start dateing with his coworker girl and I knew that all the time ,we wear fighting all the time he promissed me to forget her thousand times but...... than he blame me that he want "warm" and i don't have it and now he has affair with her first love (she has child and husband)oh.. its so terrible.... I know one thing ...he doesn't deserve wife like me and i know he'll realise everthing soon but i just don't care anymore.i love him but i know that beeing with him will distroy my life so I ignore him from now! and it helps ...I hope it will help me to foret him forever!!! I WANT IT VERY MUCH !!!!!sorry for my english

  11. #10
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    I don't agree-this gives him the option of coming back, if he does indeed make that decision for her.

    You said it yourself. He's a horrible person. Why should she keep even one sliver of an option open for this loser?

    Move on...forget him...case closed. That's my opinion.

    Quote Originally Posted by ColorBlue View Post
    Like I said, Tell him something like "If you don't make a decision by tomorrow, you can forget about coming back forever.". He will no doubt try to argue with you and beg you to give him his 2 months time (Why anyone would need THAT long to figure out their feelings is pure bs), but you can't allow him to get his way. He's a horrible person.

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