Ever had an ex pass away?

JeckyllNHyde · 03-03-2009, 10:13 PM

Just as the title says. Have you dealt with the death of someone you dated/an ex?

Just found out today a guy I dated 2 years back died. It was very very sudden. I still was up to date about his life (though I didn't want to be) thru mutual friends and when I found out it hit me hard that he died. I didn't cry or get emotional, but it left me pretty down the rest of the day.
I kept thinking about his family and what his last thoughts may have been. Everyone he's left behind and how his last months weren't as great.. The day he dumped me it was awful, and he didn't spare details about stuff we did (sexually). He was known to be a heart breaker. So yea, he hurt me bad and I always tried to be the bigger person, friendly and bite my tongue.

Even though he hurt me, I still feel sad he's gone. I can't explain it. Not a reaction I expected from myself. Even though I know he wasn't the one for me. Maybe it's something about people dying young which gets me.

Your experiences? How did you feel? Did you go to the funeral? Any more thoughts?

top bloke · 03-03-2009, 10:25 PM

It is a sense of emptiness.You see when people die..the good the bad it dies with them..and we ..we carry their memory in our hearts /minds becasue we had a connection.. god bless and try not to worry too much

isthisused · 03-03-2009, 10:34 PM

I recently found out that a girl that I had a one-night stand with, committed suicide. The two events were many years apart, but she wanted more of a relationship than I was willing to give. So it makes me wonder if things might have been different had I been interested in more than sex.

JeckyllNHyde · 03-03-2009, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by isthisused

I recently found out that a girl that I had a one-night stand with, committed suicide. The two events were many years apart, but she wanted more of a relationship than I was willing to give. So it makes me wonder if things might have been different had I been interested in more than sex.

i'd drive myself a bit mad with all these hthoughts repeating in my head^^^^

Seymore · 03-03-2009, 11:11 PM

Can't say I have, but there was a girl I was interested in back in 7th grade. We became friends, and in high school, we'd ditch study hall and she'd drive the two of us out for coffee every day (we had a closed campus, so we weren't supposed to leave the grounds). I was interested in her, but I knew she was no good for me.

She passed on in a drunk-driving accident a week before graduation. When I got the phone call she was gone, I hit the wall so hard that it just about cracked, and I'm not the physically violent type.

I attended the funeral just dazed. I kept thinking about how I was interested in her and how she just saw me as a friend. It was over before I knew it, and I've spent much more time thinking about the funeral since than I spent actually attending it.

I still visit her grave from time to time, telling her about the new women in my life, etc. I even have a full page in my yearbook written by her saying "I love you...but you know...not like that...as a friend". It broke my heart then, but I wonder if we'd even still be friends today.

indierockgrl · 03-04-2009, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeckyllNHyde

Just as the title says. Have you dealt with the death of someone you dated/an ex?

Just found out today a guy I dated 2 years back died. It was very very sudden. I still was up to date about his life (though I didn't want to be) thru mutual friends and when I found out it hit me hard that he died. I didn't cry or get emotional, but it left me pretty down the rest of the day.
I kept thinking about his family and what his last thoughts may have been. Everyone he's left behind and how his last months weren't as great.. The day he dumped me it was awful, and he didn't spare details about stuff we did (sexually). He was known to be a heart breaker. So yea, he hurt me bad and I always tried to be the bigger person, friendly and bite my tongue.

Even though he hurt me, I still feel sad he's gone. I can't explain it. Not a reaction I expected from myself. Even though I know he wasn't the one for me. Maybe it's something about people dying young which gets me.

Your experiences? How did you feel? Did you go to the funeral? Any more thoughts?

The boy that i had been dating passed away 3 months ago and we were very much together. I was devestated because it was very sudden and unexpected. He was only 38 years old and he left behind an 11 year old son. I did not go to the funeral. I am not good with funerals and wakes. I think they are morbid and i dont want to remember him dead. Plus, with how he passed, other circumstances, it seems like it would be too real and then i would have had to accept it way before i was ready too. I still struggle with grief.. everyday his absence is felt. My life is not the same. I have never experienced it before now. It is the worst pain i have ever felt. Im sorry for your loss.

isthisused · 03-04-2009, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeckyllNHyde

i'd drive myself a bit mad with all these hthoughts repeating in my head^^^^

There would be no healthy or productive reason to dwell on it. I’m no longer the person who treated her so casually. If I were, then I would think about it more so that I might be more conscientious about how my quest for sexual gratification might be affecting others.
Or at least I hope I would.

JeckyllNHyde · 03-04-2009, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rturner1

The boy that i had been dating passed away 3 months ago and we were very much together. I was devestated because it was very sudden and unexpected. He was only 38 years old and he left behind an 11 year old son. I did not go to the funeral. I am not good with funerals and wakes. I think they are morbid and i dont want to remember him dead. Plus, with how he passed, other circumstances, it seems like it would be too real and then i would have had to accept it way before i was ready too. I still struggle with grief.. everyday his absence is felt. My life is not the same. I have never experienced it before now. It is the worst pain i have ever felt. Im sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for yours..

Though me and him hadn't dated since 2 years I'm still not going. Like you, I feel funerals are very morbid and sad. I'm always fighting back tears, never one to really cry in public no matter what.
I also want to remember him alive.

I'd only go to a funeral out of respect to the family but since I was never close with them, I am relieved I'm not obligated to go. Sure he was mean to me and ruined a part of my life but I'll always remember him as the guy with a big smile on his face. And like I said, I'll look back fondly on the good times.
I'm still in shock today.

I hope you can find happiness again, from the bottom of my heart.

indierockgrl · 03-05-2009, 12:49 PM

Thank you so much JNH..... It seems that the past couple days i have really been missing him. His death was so senseless. He should be here right now. But it is what it is and i cant change what has happened. Because of his death i have been given a second chance. That way, his death was not in vain.

The best thing for us both is acceptance and closure. Closure is hard because i have so many unanswered questions. I just pray for the strength to keep going. You have a wonderful attitude towards this person who obviously hurt you.

I commend you for that.

Take care.

butterflycloud · 03-20-2009, 05:13 AM

My exhusband died a few months ago and I and our 7 year old son have been left absolutly devastated!!!!!!!!!!!

I still loved him with all my heart...every day is an unimaginable struggle!

03-03-2009, 10:13 PM	#1
JeckyllNHyde Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 5,194	Ever had an ex pass away? Just as the title says. Have you dealt with the death of someone you dated/an ex? Just found out today a guy I dated 2 years back died. It was very very sudden. I still was up to date about his life (though I didn't want to be) thru mutual friends and when I found out it hit me hard that he died. I didn't cry or get emotional, but it left me pretty down the rest of the day. I kept thinking about his family and what his last thoughts may have been. Everyone he's left behind and how his last months weren't as great.. The day he dumped me it was awful, and he didn't spare details about stuff we did (sexually). He was known to be a heart breaker. So yea, he hurt me bad and I always tried to be the bigger person, friendly and bite my tongue. Even though he hurt me, I still feel sad he's gone. I can't explain it. Not a reaction I expected from myself. Even though I know he wasn't the one for me. Maybe it's something about people dying young which gets me. Your experiences? How did you feel? Did you go to the funeral? Any more thoughts? __________________ You're just too good to be true... Can't take my eyes off of you...

03-03-2009, 10:25 PM	#2
top bloke Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 41 Posts: 2,057	It is a sense of emptiness.You see when people die..the good the bad it dies with them..and we ..we carry their memory in our hearts /minds becasue we had a connection.. god bless and try not to worry too much __________________ You have choices!

03-03-2009, 11:11 PM	#5
Seymore Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 2,403	Can't say I have, but there was a girl I was interested in back in 7th grade. We became friends, and in high school, we'd ditch study hall and she'd drive the two of us out for coffee every day (we had a closed campus, so we weren't supposed to leave the grounds). I was interested in her, but I knew she was no good for me. She passed on in a drunk-driving accident a week before graduation. When I got the phone call she was gone, I hit the wall so hard that it just about cracked, and I'm not the physically violent type. I attended the funeral just dazed. I kept thinking about how I was interested in her and how she just saw me as a friend. It was over before I knew it, and I've spent much more time thinking about the funeral since than I spent actually attending it. I still visit her grave from time to time, telling her about the new women in my life, etc. I even have a full page in my yearbook written by her saying "I love you...but you know...not like that...as a friend". It broke my heart then, but I wonder if we'd even still be friends today. __________________ I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.

03-20-2009, 05:13 AM	#10
butterflycloud Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: universal plains Gender: Female Posts: 392	My exhusband died a few months ago and I and our 7 year old son have been left absolutly devastated!!!!!!!!!!! I still loved him with all my heart...every day is an unimaginable struggle! __________________ Come to the edge he said They said' we are afraid' He said again- 'come to the edge' They came..... He pushed them..... And they flew.....

03-03-2009, 10:34 PM	#3
isthisused Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 131	I recently found out that a girl that I had a one-night stand with, committed suicide. The two events were many years apart, but she wanted more of a relationship than I was willing to give. So it makes me wonder if things might have been different had I been interested in more than sex.

03-05-2009, 12:49 PM	#9
indierockgrl Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Gender: None Specified Posts: 511	Thank you so much JNH..... It seems that the past couple days i have really been missing him. His death was so senseless. He should be here right now. But it is what it is and i cant change what has happened. Because of his death i have been given a second chance. That way, his death was not in vain. The best thing for us both is acceptance and closure. Closure is hard because i have so many unanswered questions. I just pray for the strength to keep going. You have a wonderful attitude towards this person who obviously hurt you. I commend you for that. Take care.