A success story... so far

Imissher · 03-01-2009, 04:19 PM

Hi everyone,
I'd like to explain my success story. After trying for 6 weeks to help fix things with my ex, nothing seemed to help. After 3-4 weeks of replying to her, and not breaking contact with her I was worn out.

I decided to try Daves no contact method. I knew I wasn't getting anywhere trying to contact her and fix things. I needed to break off contact for my own good, and focus on myself. I tried my best and wasn't getting anywhere.

After 3 weeks of no contact, I heard from her through a few text messages. I still wasn't responding to these or the texts she had sent me. My mother told me that she was contacting her as well saying she loves me so much and was scared to talk to me about it because she thought that I would reject her. She keeps thinking that I am going to try to get ''even'' with her after what she did. That is fading as well though since I have always been good to her. She still breaks down crying once in a while telling me how sorry she is.

Here are the texts..

''Hey there. I want you to know I was in an emo funk when I texted you on my bday. I also want you to know that I'm sorry for being so cold at first. You still know me better than anyone else and I want to stay close friends.. That's up to you though.'' 9.48 am Jan 9 (This text was ignored)

''Alright, I've been trying to keep my cool but its totally gone. I dont want to be your friend. I miss you and I figured my s**t out. I'm in love with you.'' 10.56 am Jan 9 (This text was also ignored)

''I had a dream about you last night because I was thinking of you so hard as I went to sleep, holding patsie (a bear I got her on our first date), and i woke up crying. I'm in love with you (name)'' 12.04 pm Jan 9 (This text was also ignored)

''I want the necklace, I want the ring, and I want you. I want to dedicate my life to you all over again and never go back'' 1.35 pm Jan 9 (This text was also ignored)

There were a few others. Same thing basically. I did not contact her for a couple days after seeing these. It hurt to even see anything from her. Each time I saw I received a text/call from her my heart sunk a little bit. Finally she called and I decided to answer because I really do love her.

We ended up talking again and I am going to give it a second shot. After 3 years, I am willing to give her a second chance. However, I told her the same day that we were going to take things slow, and if she ever did this again I would never even consider talking to her again.

When I asked her why all this happened, she said it was a lot of things. She told me that she wasn't sure what she wanted (we were both 18, were 19 now). and she wasn't sure if she was ready to be committed at such a young age. We took our break and she said since day 1 she regretted saying it, and during this break it reminded her how much she really loves me and wanted me. She told me she wants to be my wife someday.. that won't happen for a while after what she did to me though.

Anyway.. I just thought I'd report back. I'll be sure to check in from time to time. I have a couple friends around here. I'll stop by for them and for you all.

Currently the situation is pretty good. We are coming up on 2 months back together and things are going really well so far. I'm still taking things slow, and I'm honestly having a few trust issues. Not with her loyalty to me, but if she is sincere. I keep having this thought in the back of my head that she will do this to me again. I am trying my best to get over that though.

Thats about all guys. Wish us luck!

tin_tin · 03-01-2009, 04:36 PM

Thats good news mate.
Take things slowly.

She made big steps, and practically poured her heart out to you. Good for you for waiting a while after you recieved them to get your mind together, and then picking up.

My ex just told me "you dont know what you got til its gone, its true"
But i think i need something a little bit more than that. Simmilar to something your ex sent to you.

Good luck..........

Imissher · 03-06-2009, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tin_tin

Thats good news mate.
Take things slowly.

She made big steps, and practically poured her heart out to you. Good for you for waiting a while after you recieved them to get your mind together, and then picking up.

My ex just told me "you dont know what you got til its gone, its true"
But i think i need something a little bit more than that. Simmilar to something your ex sent to you.

Good luck..........

Thanks brother!

Best of luck with your ex my friend. Just give her time to "suffer". As mean as that sounds, I believe all ex's should feel a bit of what they put us through. Let your ex pour their heart out to you.

This may sound corny, but I'll keep you in my prayers that everything works out how you'd like it too.

lauramed · 03-06-2009, 12:16 PM

I'm so happy for you that things have turned out the way that you wanted. A few months back, when my world came crashing down on me, you said some kind words to me and some emotional support which I really appreciated.

I also took Dave's advice and went NC. Last week was three months since I last heard from him other than 6 weeks ago when I ran into him...I happened to be with a male friend of mine (just a friend, but he didn't know that). Finally got to a place last week where I really believed that I would never hear from him again and knew that I had to somehow let it go and move on. That very same day I received the biggest shock of my life....he called. He's called quite a few times since then....though I haven't answered all of them and have waited a few hours to call him back. So maybe it is true....that they really don't know what they have until it's gone.

So right now I'm hopeful but cautious and like you will take things slowly and one day at at time.

Imissher · 03-06-2009, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lauramed

I'm so happy for you that things have turned out the way that you wanted. A few months back, when my world came crashing down on me, you said some kind words to me and some emotional support which I really appreciated.

I also took Dave's advice and went NC. Last week was three months since I last heard from him other than 6 weeks ago when I ran into him...I happened to be with a male friend of mine (just a friend, but he didn't know that). Finally got to a place last week where I really believed that I would never hear from him again and knew that I had to somehow let it go and move on. That very same day I received the biggest shock of my life....he called. He's called quite a few times since then....though I haven't answered all of them and have waited a few hours to call him back. So maybe it is true....that they really don't know what they have until it's gone.

So right now I'm hopeful but cautious and like you will take things slowly and one day at at time.

Hi Laura!
Thanks so much! I'm sorry I haven't been around. I haven't really been around, I needed some time to get away and be by myself.

I'm so happy to hear he is contacting you. I hope he truly understands what he lost. Remember that you deserve to be treated right, and if he isn't going to do that than your better off without him. I'm glad to hear you gave NC a try. That's what worked for me. I was emotionally drained and couldn't keep doing it. I had to just stop trying because it was hurting me to much. When I stopped fighting for her she began to realize what she lost. I hope your ex is doing the same thing. I want you to be happy.

You're doing the right thing though. Take it one day at a time, and take things slowly. We will both get through all this. Hopefully it works out for us both. I'm so happy for you Laura.

lauramed · 03-06-2009, 12:53 PM

Well I think that we both have realized that NC is the only way to get yourself back. It's hard but I found out just what a strong person I am by doing it. Like you, I certainly hope that my ex and I can get will be able to make our way back to each other, but I know that if that doesn't happen I'll still be okay.

Stay in touch and hopefully somewhere down the road we'll have the best news to share with each other.

gee · 03-06-2009, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imissher

This may sound corny, but I'll keep you in my prayers that everything works out how you'd like it too.

Not corny at all!

gee

gee · 03-06-2009, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Imissher

Hi everyone,
I'd like to explain my success story. After trying for 6 weeks to help fix things with my ex, nothing seemed to help. After 3-4 weeks of replying to her, and not breaking contact with her I was worn out.

I decided to try Daves no contact method. I knew I wasn't getting anywhere trying to contact her and fix things. I needed to break off contact for my own good, and focus on myself. I tried my best and wasn't getting anywhere.

After 3 weeks of no contact, I heard from her through a few text messages. I still wasn't responding to these or the texts she had sent me. My mother told me that she was contacting her as well saying she loves me so much and was scared to talk to me about it because she thought that I would reject her. She keeps thinking that I am going to try to get ''even'' with her after what she did. That is fading as well though since I have always been good to her. She still breaks down crying once in a while telling me how sorry she is.

Here are the texts..

''Hey there. I want you to know I was in an emo funk when I texted you on my bday. I also want you to know that I'm sorry for being so cold at first. You still know me better than anyone else and I want to stay close friends.. That's up to you though.'' 9.48 am Jan 9 (This text was ignored)

''Alright, I've been trying to keep my cool but its totally gone. I dont want to be your friend. I miss you and I figured my s**t out. I'm in love with you.'' 10.56 am Jan 9 (This text was also ignored)

''I had a dream about you last night because I was thinking of you so hard as I went to sleep, holding patsie (a bear I got her on our first date), and i woke up crying. I'm in love with you (name)'' 12.04 pm Jan 9 (This text was also ignored)

''I want the necklace, I want the ring, and I want you. I want to dedicate my life to you all over again and never go back'' 1.35 pm Jan 9 (This text was also ignored)

There were a few others. Same thing basically. I did not contact her for a couple days after seeing these. It hurt to even see anything from her. Each time I saw I received a text/call from her my heart sunk a little bit. Finally she called and I decided to answer because I really do love her.

We ended up talking again and I am going to give it a second shot. After 3 years, I am willing to give her a second chance. However, I told her the same day that we were going to take things slow, and if she ever did this again I would never even consider talking to her again.

When I asked her why all this happened, she said it was a lot of things. She told me that she wasn't sure what she wanted (we were both 18, were 19 now). and she wasn't sure if she was ready to be committed at such a young age. We took our break and she said since day 1 she regretted saying it, and during this break it reminded her how much she really loves me and wanted me. She told me she wants to be my wife someday.. that won't happen for a while after what she did to me though.

Anyway.. I just thought I'd report back. I'll be sure to check in from time to time. I have a couple friends around here. I'll stop by for them and for you all.

Currently the situation is pretty good. We are coming up on 2 months back together and things are going really well so far. I'm still taking things slow, and I'm honestly having a few trust issues. Not with her loyalty to me, but if she is sincere. I keep having this thought in the back of my head that she will do this to me again. I am trying my best to get over that though.

Thats about all guys. Wish us luck!

Congrats! I want to wish you the best. I hope everything works out for you and take things slow. There is no need to rush anything.

God bless!

gee

pino · 03-06-2009, 06:09 PM

Glad to hear that there are success stories out there.

Thanks for the post, your story sounds pretty similar to mine so maybe I still have a chance.

Imissher · 03-07-2009, 04:04 PM

Laura, Gee and Pino, thank you so much for the support.

Pino I'll keep you in my prayers also. Best of luck brother. Let her come to you.

I do have one big worry at this point though. I have signed my papers from the United States Marine Corps. I have not sworn in yet (which means its not 100% official yet), and after just getting back together that is 3 months of not talking. Only writing letters. I don't think this is the best thing on a relationship that has just recently been on the mend.

I mentioned it to her, and she says she will support me no matter what. However... that's easy to say, but harder to do when it comes down to it. I'm worried about doing something to better my future and not have her stand by me. The only thing I can really think of is either not going into the USMC and doing school, or thinking that.. if she won't stand by me through this then its better that we ended now if shes not 100% dedicated.

03-01-2009, 04:19 PM	#1
Imissher Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 121	A success story... so far Hi everyone, I'd like to explain my success story. After trying for 6 weeks to help fix things with my ex, nothing seemed to help. After 3-4 weeks of replying to her, and not breaking contact with her I was worn out. I decided to try Daves no contact method. I knew I wasn't getting anywhere trying to contact her and fix things. I needed to break off contact for my own good, and focus on myself. I tried my best and wasn't getting anywhere. After 3 weeks of no contact, I heard from her through a few text messages. I still wasn't responding to these or the texts she had sent me. My mother told me that she was contacting her as well saying she loves me so much and was scared to talk to me about it because she thought that I would reject her. She keeps thinking that I am going to try to get ''even'' with her after what she did. That is fading as well though since I have always been good to her. She still breaks down crying once in a while telling me how sorry she is. Here are the texts.. ''Hey there. I want you to know I was in an emo funk when I texted you on my bday. I also want you to know that I'm sorry for being so cold at first. You still know me better than anyone else and I want to stay close friends.. That's up to you though.'' 9.48 am Jan 9 (This text was ignored) ''Alright, I've been trying to keep my cool but its totally gone. I dont want to be your friend. I miss you and I figured my s**t out. I'm in love with you.'' 10.56 am Jan 9 (This text was also ignored) ''I had a dream about you last night because I was thinking of you so hard as I went to sleep, holding patsie (a bear I got her on our first date), and i woke up crying. I'm in love with you (name)'' 12.04 pm Jan 9 (This text was also ignored) ''I want the necklace, I want the ring, and I want you. I want to dedicate my life to you all over again and never go back'' 1.35 pm Jan 9 (This text was also ignored) There were a few others. Same thing basically. I did not contact her for a couple days after seeing these. It hurt to even see anything from her. Each time I saw I received a text/call from her my heart sunk a little bit. Finally she called and I decided to answer because I really do love her. We ended up talking again and I am going to give it a second shot. After 3 years, I am willing to give her a second chance. However, I told her the same day that we were going to take things slow, and if she ever did this again I would never even consider talking to her again. When I asked her why all this happened, she said it was a lot of things. She told me that she wasn't sure what she wanted (we were both 18, were 19 now). and she wasn't sure if she was ready to be committed at such a young age. We took our break and she said since day 1 she regretted saying it, and during this break it reminded her how much she really loves me and wanted me. She told me she wants to be my wife someday.. that won't happen for a while after what she did to me though. Anyway.. I just thought I'd report back. I'll be sure to check in from time to time. I have a couple friends around here. I'll stop by for them and for you all. Currently the situation is pretty good. We are coming up on 2 months back together and things are going really well so far. I'm still taking things slow, and I'm honestly having a few trust issues. Not with her loyalty to me, but if she is sincere. I keep having this thought in the back of my head that she will do this to me again. I am trying my best to get over that though. Thats about all guys. Wish us luck!

03-01-2009, 04:36 PM	#2
tin_tin Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: uk Age: 26 Posts: 93	Thats good news mate. Take things slowly. She made big steps, and practically poured her heart out to you. Good for you for waiting a while after you recieved them to get your mind together, and then picking up. My ex just told me "you dont know what you got til its gone, its true" But i think i need something a little bit more than that. Simmilar to something your ex sent to you. Good luck..........

03-06-2009, 12:16 PM	#4
lauramed Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 169	I'm so happy for you that things have turned out the way that you wanted. A few months back, when my world came crashing down on me, you said some kind words to me and some emotional support which I really appreciated. I also took Dave's advice and went NC. Last week was three months since I last heard from him other than 6 weeks ago when I ran into him...I happened to be with a male friend of mine (just a friend, but he didn't know that). Finally got to a place last week where I really believed that I would never hear from him again and knew that I had to somehow let it go and move on. That very same day I received the biggest shock of my life....he called. He's called quite a few times since then....though I haven't answered all of them and have waited a few hours to call him back. So maybe it is true....that they really don't know what they have until it's gone. So right now I'm hopeful but cautious and like you will take things slowly and one day at at time.

03-06-2009, 12:53 PM	#6
lauramed Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 169	Well I think that we both have realized that NC is the only way to get yourself back. It's hard but I found out just what a strong person I am by doing it. Like you, I certainly hope that my ex and I can get will be able to make our way back to each other, but I know that if that doesn't happen I'll still be okay. Stay in touch and hopefully somewhere down the road we'll have the best news to share with each other.

03-06-2009, 06:09 PM	#9
pino Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Somewhere else Gender: Male Posts: 24	Glad to hear that there are success stories out there. Thanks for the post, your story sounds pretty similar to mine so maybe I still have a chance.

03-07-2009, 04:04 PM	#10
Imissher Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 121	Laura, Gee and Pino, thank you so much for the support. Pino I'll keep you in my prayers also. Best of luck brother. Let her come to you. I do have one big worry at this point though. I have signed my papers from the United States Marine Corps. I have not sworn in yet (which means its not 100% official yet), and after just getting back together that is 3 months of not talking. Only writing letters. I don't think this is the best thing on a relationship that has just recently been on the mend. I mentioned it to her, and she says she will support me no matter what. However... that's easy to say, but harder to do when it comes down to it. I'm worried about doing something to better my future and not have her stand by me. The only thing I can really think of is either not going into the USMC and doing school, or thinking that.. if she won't stand by me through this then its better that we ended now if shes not 100% dedicated.