Do i have an eating disorder?

gift from the gods · 02-19-2009, 02:37 AM

I know this sounds like a stupid question, and i am fully aware of eating disorders, i just wanted to know if this was normal, or if other people feel like this too.
im 5'4 and range from 114-123lb.... i realise that im not "fat fat" but i have a very negitive self image, its odd, when i look in the mirror at my body i feel really disgusted at certain parts i dont like... (mostly where fat sits... arms, belly, thighs etc) and i really despise them buti know im not big because i can fit into size 8-10 clothes (uk) :/

but im constantly (and i meen like all day/every day) thinking about weight, food, other peoples weight. the first thing i think when i meet any other girl is how their body is - is it fatter than mine, smaller, are we the same size?

I count calories and know the calories of everything. every single time i eat something, just if someone offers me a crisp or a sweet i concentrate on what im eating, i think about how many calories are in it and i always feel guilty. I feel guilty everytime i eat, every single time....no matter what im eating. I hate eating infront of other people, i feel so shameful when i do... like what they are thinking about me, thinking about if their watching etc.

ive also started exercising, and ill make sure ill stay in the gym till ive burnt off like half to all the calories ive eaten that day. Ive also cut down alot, eating only like 200 calories some days....i just dont feel hungry.
The other day when i ate quite a bit i felt so sick and disgusted with myself that i made myself throw up (even tho this is a anonymous site, i still found it hard to type that, i feel stupid for doing it) but this isnt like a regular occurance.

im not unusually skinny or anything, i think im just normal weight... can you have an eating disorder even if you are still a normal weight? i havent ever told anyone else how i feel about food, its just too embarrassing

. x

SuzyQ2513 · 02-19-2009, 02:51 AM

Yes, you CAN have an eating disorder and be of normal weight. There are many different types of eating disorders and also a full range of severity or progression. You may be developing an eating disorder due to your poor body image. Here are some warnings:

-If you start down this path of sudden weight loss from severe calorie restriction it could result in wild weight fluctuations that not only tamper with your body (can you say stretch marks?) but also your emotional health as a result.
-Or, you could continue to lose weight without gaining and it could become and obsession and take over your life.

As I am sure you have already felt, food has become something you spend a great deal of your time thinking about when you could be more productive thinking about other things. Even though you may not be far into the disorder, I would stay away from playing with fire and look into therapy ASAP. In the mean time, eat between 1200-1500 calories a day (that many will ensure you lose 1-2 lbs a week) and get moderate exercise 5 days a week to tone up. Start keeping a food/workout diary now to bring into your first app.

calidreamin0 · 02-19-2009, 03:52 AM

Yes, you might.

I was like this for a few years in high school. It literally consumed my every thought. And I was in a normal weight range, however, I had a very 'fat' childhood. And I feared becoming fat again! I would never eat any cheese, or anything with actual 'fat'. It can consume your life. Still to this day, I weigh myself every morning. In a compulsive manner, I see how much I weigh, and determine what I am allowed to eat the rest of the day.

I agree with the other poster... start a food diary, and a normal diary as well and your thoughts about what you are eating. This negative thinking about yourself, can have terrible consequences. For me, I moved on, but the psychological effects are forever... It gave me great anxieties in my life... something I still have to deal with!

So please, get some help. And have you seen the film "Thin"? Search for it in google, you will be forever changed after watching it.

cruzer · 02-19-2009, 05:21 AM

I have no idea if u have an eating disorder.

This is probably useless because its your body, and you want to be happy with it.

Most guys i know, including myself, dont like a 100 lb girl. the only guys i know that say they like skinny girls like that are because they think she has a small/tight .....

you say urself u know your not fat, so why count calories?

sarey · 02-19-2009, 05:42 AM

I have an eating disorder but I am not dangerously underweight, you don't have to be deathly thin to have one, it's a MENTAL disorder that manifests physically.

Go see your doc about this.

yellow_sweater · 02-19-2009, 04:21 PM

Just to chime in...

No one here is a doctor, so we can't tell you for sure. Coming from my own experiences with disordered eating, I'd say that your behaviors and thought patterns are VERY suggestive of an ED. Yes, you can be "normal" weight and still be extremely ill.

What can you do to get yourself to a nutritionist or therapist?

YS

BeStrongBeHappy · 02-19-2009, 06:03 PM

Many bulimics are normal weight. and if you have made yourself throw up to get rid of food (even if not very often), then you have an eating disorder, not to mention the fact that you are obsessed with your weight and looks and every bit of food that goes into your mouth.

You need to learn how to eat for nourishment and proper health, and to learn that food is not your enemy, nor your friend, just a way to sustain your body and enjoy for pleasure with friends and family.

I'd start reading up on eating disorders and consider getting some therapy to discuss this before you tip over the edge into more constant bulemia. It would also be nice for you to be able to enjoy food and the rest of your day and not obsess about looks and calories.

Lecturer · 02-19-2009, 06:07 PM

Based on the symptoms you describe, you have borderline anorexia nervosa. I know this illness/disorder well, as my wife has suffered from the exact same thing for years.

Obsessing about weight, image, exercise, and food constantly is a big sign, and the binge-purge actions denote a very unhealthy type of anorexia. This is one thing my wife doesn't do, as she knows she can't get away with it (however, she does other unhealthy similar acts, like starving herself, then binging on cookies or other 'empty' food, then feeling guilty and starving herself again).

My wife is technically of healthy weight, like you (although she is sometimes on the edge of unhealthy BMI when it gets bad). Her weight changes with the severity of the disorder.. changing depending on how bad it is affecting her.

My wife has combatted this for years, and for the most part is able to handle it. Unfortunately, when depression occurs, a symptom of anorexia starts to win out, and that is the feeling that having control over food/body is synonymous with being in control of one's life. When that starts to happen, she gets back into the nasty symptoms full fledged.

Unfortunately, other people (like me) cannot help her. Uninformed people will assume that if other people give you compliments, or just tell you "how it is (you're very attractive)", then you will accept it. This is simply not true, and I'm sure you know it. I can compliment my wife a hundred times a day with true, meaningful compliments, which she KNOWS are honest.. but it doesn't matter to her. The issue is what SHE thinks of her body, and what she sees is a distorted reality.

The only advice I can give is to be aware of it and be vigilant... the fact that you are asking for help here is a GOOD SIGN; denial is another symptom of anorexia, possibly the worst. When you are really suffering, try to ask yourself "is my bad image of myself true, or just distorted by anorexia?"... and "am I obsessing too much about food and exercise?" As is my experience, you will always have to battle this, like a drug addict has to fight to stay clean. With support and good times, it will be easier... but at times it will be difficult and you will start to succumb.

I wish you strength and luck.

02-19-2009, 02:37 AM	#1
gift from the gods Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Uk Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 155	Do i have an eating disorder? I know this sounds like a stupid question, and i am fully aware of eating disorders, i just wanted to know if this was normal, or if other people feel like this too. im 5'4 and range from 114-123lb.... i realise that im not "fat fat" but i have a very negitive self image, its odd, when i look in the mirror at my body i feel really disgusted at certain parts i dont like... (mostly where fat sits... arms, belly, thighs etc) and i really despise them buti know im not big because i can fit into size 8-10 clothes (uk) :/ but im constantly (and i meen like all day/every day) thinking about weight, food, other peoples weight. the first thing i think when i meet any other girl is how their body is - is it fatter than mine, smaller, are we the same size? I count calories and know the calories of everything. every single time i eat something, just if someone offers me a crisp or a sweet i concentrate on what im eating, i think about how many calories are in it and i always feel guilty. I feel guilty everytime i eat, every single time....no matter what im eating. I hate eating infront of other people, i feel so shameful when i do... like what they are thinking about me, thinking about if their watching etc. ive also started exercising, and ill make sure ill stay in the gym till ive burnt off like half to all the calories ive eaten that day. Ive also cut down alot, eating only like 200 calories some days....i just dont feel hungry. The other day when i ate quite a bit i felt so sick and disgusted with myself that i made myself throw up (even tho this is a anonymous site, i still found it hard to type that, i feel stupid for doing it) but this isnt like a regular occurance. im not unusually skinny or anything, i think im just normal weight... can you have an eating disorder even if you are still a normal weight? i havent ever told anyone else how i feel about food, its just too embarrassing. x __________________ So mesmerising, so hypnotising. I am captivated, i am liberiated.

02-19-2009, 05:21 AM	#4
cruzer Offline Silver Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 636	I have no idea if u have an eating disorder. This is probably useless because its your body, and you want to be happy with it. Most guys i know, including myself, dont like a 100 lb girl. the only guys i know that say they like skinny girls like that are because they think she has a small/tight ..... you say urself u know your not fat, so why count calories? __________________ Not willing to share your time Not near Not far I'm just a spectator, once loved Just fear Just scars A sheer introduction to what I've lost, to what I've lost...

02-19-2009, 02:51 AM	#2
SuzyQ2513 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: CC MD Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 1,423	Yes, you CAN have an eating disorder and be of normal weight. There are many different types of eating disorders and also a full range of severity or progression. You may be developing an eating disorder due to your poor body image. Here are some warnings: -If you start down this path of sudden weight loss from severe calorie restriction it could result in wild weight fluctuations that not only tamper with your body (can you say stretch marks?) but also your emotional health as a result. -Or, you could continue to lose weight without gaining and it could become and obsession and take over your life. As I am sure you have already felt, food has become something you spend a great deal of your time thinking about when you could be more productive thinking about other things. Even though you may not be far into the disorder, I would stay away from playing with fire and look into therapy ASAP. In the mean time, eat between 1200-1500 calories a day (that many will ensure you lose 1-2 lbs a week) and get moderate exercise 5 days a week to tone up. Start keeping a food/workout diary now to bring into your first app.

02-19-2009, 03:52 AM	#3
calidreamin0 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Northern California Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 419	Yes, you might. I was like this for a few years in high school. It literally consumed my every thought. And I was in a normal weight range, however, I had a very 'fat' childhood. And I feared becoming fat again! I would never eat any cheese, or anything with actual 'fat'. It can consume your life. Still to this day, I weigh myself every morning. In a compulsive manner, I see how much I weigh, and determine what I am allowed to eat the rest of the day. I agree with the other poster... start a food diary, and a normal diary as well and your thoughts about what you are eating. This negative thinking about yourself, can have terrible consequences. For me, I moved on, but the psychological effects are forever... It gave me great anxieties in my life... something I still have to deal with! So please, get some help. And have you seen the film "Thin"? Search for it in google, you will be forever changed after watching it.

02-19-2009, 05:42 AM	#5
sarey Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: In the UK, somewhere... Gender: Female Posts: 1,438	I have an eating disorder but I am not dangerously underweight, you don't have to be deathly thin to have one, it's a MENTAL disorder that manifests physically. Go see your doc about this.

02-19-2009, 04:21 PM	#6
yellow_sweater Offline Gold Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 937	Just to chime in... No one here is a doctor, so we can't tell you for sure. Coming from my own experiences with disordered eating, I'd say that your behaviors and thought patterns are VERY suggestive of an ED. Yes, you can be "normal" weight and still be extremely ill. What can you do to get yourself to a nutritionist or therapist? YS

02-19-2009, 06:03 PM	#7
BeStrongBeHappy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 7,415	Many bulimics are normal weight. and if you have made yourself throw up to get rid of food (even if not very often), then you have an eating disorder, not to mention the fact that you are obsessed with your weight and looks and every bit of food that goes into your mouth. You need to learn how to eat for nourishment and proper health, and to learn that food is not your enemy, nor your friend, just a way to sustain your body and enjoy for pleasure with friends and family. I'd start reading up on eating disorders and consider getting some therapy to discuss this before you tip over the edge into more constant bulemia. It would also be nice for you to be able to enjoy food and the rest of your day and not obsess about looks and calories.

02-19-2009, 06:07 PM	#8
Lecturer Offline Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Canada Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 441	Based on the symptoms you describe, you have borderline anorexia nervosa. I know this illness/disorder well, as my wife has suffered from the exact same thing for years. Obsessing about weight, image, exercise, and food constantly is a big sign, and the binge-purge actions denote a very unhealthy type of anorexia. This is one thing my wife doesn't do, as she knows she can't get away with it (however, she does other unhealthy similar acts, like starving herself, then binging on cookies or other 'empty' food, then feeling guilty and starving herself again). My wife is technically of healthy weight, like you (although she is sometimes on the edge of unhealthy BMI when it gets bad). Her weight changes with the severity of the disorder.. changing depending on how bad it is affecting her. My wife has combatted this for years, and for the most part is able to handle it. Unfortunately, when depression occurs, a symptom of anorexia starts to win out, and that is the feeling that having control over food/body is synonymous with being in control of one's life. When that starts to happen, she gets back into the nasty symptoms full fledged. Unfortunately, other people (like me) cannot help her. Uninformed people will assume that if other people give you compliments, or just tell you "how it is (you're very attractive)", then you will accept it. This is simply not true, and I'm sure you know it. I can compliment my wife a hundred times a day with true, meaningful compliments, which she KNOWS are honest.. but it doesn't matter to her. The issue is what SHE thinks of her body, and what she sees is a distorted reality. The only advice I can give is to be aware of it and be vigilant... the fact that you are asking for help here is a GOOD SIGN; denial is another symptom of anorexia, possibly the worst. When you are really suffering, try to ask yourself "is my bad image of myself true, or just distorted by anorexia?"... and "am I obsessing too much about food and exercise?" As is my experience, you will always have to battle this, like a drug addict has to fight to stay clean. With support and good times, it will be easier... but at times it will be difficult and you will start to succumb. I wish you strength and luck.