Just how important is physical and emotional intimacy?

Shesmyeverything · 02-08-2009, 10:25 AM

Just how important is physical and emotional intimacy in what is considered a healty marriage. As a man, yes I love sex with my wife, but really crave the skin on skin contact and knowing that I am with someone who WANTS to be with me. I look forward to taking care of my ladies needs and letting her know see is desired, loved and thought about many times during the day. I look forward to spending time with her and dating and romancing my wife. I could just be in bed totally naked with her and hold her close and the skin contact is so rewarding to me. Well, as I am in a marriage lacking in all these areas, how important and "normal' is it to want theses things from a partner or am I thinking crazy. Don't really know where this is going, but just needed to vent I guess. Thanks

lost! · 02-08-2009, 10:31 AM

I think these things are definitely very important in a relationship. Have you tried talking to your partner about it?

Batya33 · 02-08-2009, 10:32 AM

I don't know what a romantic long term relationship is other than a relationship that is physically and emotionally intimate - without either of those ingredients aren't you simply roommates?

Shesmyeverything · 02-08-2009, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lost!

I think these things are definitely very important in a relationship. Have you tried talking to your partner about it?

Yes, I have and she thinks that we should be able to have a marriage without it and talking about it makes her angry. I feel very lonely and depressed. It bothers me when she walks into the room because just looking at her makes me desire her and I know that is an issue, which makes me very confused. I grew up with a father who was not very good to my mom, between drinking and abuse, and I swore I would treat my wife with all the love I have to give and now I am being led to believe that is a problem.

FortunateOne · 02-08-2009, 10:50 AM

Well, to know where this is going I suggest you google and read about Dr. Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. This will organize your emotions and understand what's going on in your life. Your wife should read it too and discuss this with a therapist.

Shesmyeverything · 02-08-2009, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FortunateOne

Well, to know where this is going I suggest you google and read about Dr. Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. This will organize your emotions and understand what's going on in your life. Your wife should read it too and discuss this with a therapist.

Thanks, I just looked at it and from the looks of things, I am in trouble!

beejcee · 02-08-2009, 11:07 AM

i think of the physical part of a relationship as the glue that holds a marriage together.
without it, a marriage will suffer for both partners.

FortunateOne · 02-08-2009, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shesmyeverything

Thanks, I just looked at it and from the looks of things, I am in trouble!

My compassion goes out to you and I hope that she will go to therapy. I wish you luck buddy.

Shesmyeverything · 02-08-2009, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FortunateOne

My compassion goes out to you and I hope that she will go to therapy. I wish you luck buddy.

She won't I already asked. This would be so much easier if I did not love her soo much.

FortunateOne · 02-08-2009, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shesmyeverything

She won't I already asked. This would be so much easier if I did not love her soo much.

Then I suggest an intervention from a trusted relative that undestands your dilema. You may have to lobby support from many family members so she can understand.

02-08-2009, 10:25 AM	#1
Shesmyeverything Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 30	Just how important is physical and emotional intimacy? Just how important is physical and emotional intimacy in what is considered a healty marriage. As a man, yes I love sex with my wife, but really crave the skin on skin contact and knowing that I am with someone who WANTS to be with me. I look forward to taking care of my ladies needs and letting her know see is desired, loved and thought about many times during the day. I look forward to spending time with her and dating and romancing my wife. I could just be in bed totally naked with her and hold her close and the skin contact is so rewarding to me. Well, as I am in a marriage lacking in all these areas, how important and "normal' is it to want theses things from a partner or am I thinking crazy. Don't really know where this is going, but just needed to vent I guess. Thanks

02-08-2009, 10:50 AM	#5
FortunateOne Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: SoCal., USA Gender: Male Posts: 1,540	Well, to know where this is going I suggest you google and read about Dr. Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. This will organize your emotions and understand what's going on in your life. Your wife should read it too and discuss this with a therapist. __________________ <<--------- Thomas Kinkade "Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."- Proverbs 4:23 (NLT) "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20 (NLT)

02-08-2009, 10:31 AM	#2
lost! Offline Gold Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Melbourne, Australia Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 1,076	I think these things are definitely very important in a relationship. Have you tried talking to your partner about it?

02-08-2009, 10:32 AM	#3
Batya33 Online Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,062	I don't know what a romantic long term relationship is other than a relationship that is physically and emotionally intimate - without either of those ingredients aren't you simply roommates?

02-08-2009, 11:07 AM	#7
beejcee Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: PA Gender: Female Posts: 169	i think of the physical part of a relationship as the glue that holds a marriage together. without it, a marriage will suffer for both partners.