Need to be thick skinned for online dating?

shy2cool · 01-22-2009, 04:02 PM

I've had zero positive responses to my profile - I've sent a number of kisses with negative replies or nothing at all. It's a bit disheartening to me personally. I am an easy going, hard working guy who is just looking to enjoy life.

Maybe I am too ugly? Maybe it's my cultural background?

I've bought credits on the site and am ready to message people.

Mock Chop · 01-22-2009, 04:09 PM

Sending kisses means nothing. Take your time to write a proper response to someone's profile, read what they've said about them, relate to it - in other words, show you've read it!! I have a profile on a free site and only respond to those who've obviously read it. So many don't. The "Hi, how r u?" emails are deleted unanswered. I know it's easier for women in terms of getting a response, but honestly, my profile's terrifying lol It's long (which I'm told men hate) but it's damned funny. Show your sense of humour, or anything that might make you stand out from the crowd.

You do have to be thick skinned, but remember, sometimes it only takes one response

hockeyboy · 01-22-2009, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shy2cool

I've sent a number of kisses with negative replies or nothing at all.

I don't know what site your using but I'm assuming this is where you just click on an icon and the girl see's you "kisses" or "winked" or whatever the particular site says.

Basically what your saying with that is "I'm to lazy to spend the time to write to you so throwing this out there and hoping your really desperate for a man who show's the slightest bit of interest in you"

Not good odds, increase them.

ghost69 · 01-22-2009, 04:10 PM

how long you been on it?

sweeteyez · 01-22-2009, 04:10 PM

Maybe you have just not found the right match?

I get messages and nothing is wrong with the person trying to get to know me, they are not ugly or anything just not my type.

I just finally found one person after many winks, smiles ect that really stood out to me, and started speaking to him...Just takes time.

good luck.

savignon · 01-22-2009, 04:11 PM

Online dating can be ego-crushing for sure. In the end, though, if a girl isn't attracted to your looks or your culture, it's just not a good match. I did online dating and often got enough emails that I ignored winks/kisses or whatever it is. Why not try sending a message to some of these girls? If you're attracted to girls in your culture, seek them out instead of waiting for other girls to respond. I doubt you're ugly and culture will only be a problem to people you don't want to waste your time with anyway.
Best wishes.

ghost69 · 01-22-2009, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hockeyboy

I don't know what site your using but I'm assuming this is where you just click on an icon and the girl see's you "kisses" or "winked" or whatever the particular site says.

Basically what your saying with that is "I'm to lazy to spend the time to write to you so throwing this out there and hoping your really desperate for a man who show's the slightest bit of interest in you"

Not good odds, increase them.

that's a pretty good summation if that is in fact all you are doing. make it personable and show that you actually read their profile and liked what they put. use some of their hobbies and interests in your responses.

metrogirl · 01-22-2009, 04:18 PM

Any random Joe can send winks or kisses to dozens of women at one time hoping to illicit a response from at least one of them.

You'll likely have better results if you leave a message, include some hobbies or interests.

Just sending a 'kiss or wink' is kind lame and seems desperate almost.

girl68 · 01-22-2009, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mock Chop

Sending kisses means nothing. Take your time to write a proper response to someone's profile, read what they've said about them, relate to it - in other words, show you've read it!! I have a profile on a free site and only respond to those who've obviously read it. So many don't. The "Hi, how r u?" emails are deleted unanswered.
You do have to be thick skinned, but remember, sometimes it only takes one response

Indeed. I was also on one and got numerous "hugs, kisses, winks" it all means nothing to me. I saw it as "so you liked what you see..." literally. How about did you like what you read? I wouldn't know because all you did was wink at me. I also deleted these unanswered.

Make some sort of comment about what you read. Hey, you're really pretty also means nothing to me. Hope you get a better idea of how to send messages and what not. Make it a little more personal.

But don't forget your thick skin, your absolutely correct on that.

hockeyboy · 01-22-2009, 04:28 PM

i think "winking" at somebody online is probably just about as effective as "winking" at a stranger in public.

01-22-2009, 04:02 PM	#1
shy2cool Offline Silver Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 696	Need to be thick skinned for online dating? I've had zero positive responses to my profile - I've sent a number of kisses with negative replies or nothing at all. It's a bit disheartening to me personally. I am an easy going, hard working guy who is just looking to enjoy life. Maybe I am too ugly? Maybe it's my cultural background? I've bought credits on the site and am ready to message people.

01-22-2009, 04:09 PM	#2
Mock Chop Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 219	Sending kisses means nothing. Take your time to write a proper response to someone's profile, read what they've said about them, relate to it - in other words, show you've read it!! I have a profile on a free site and only respond to those who've obviously read it. So many don't. The "Hi, how r u?" emails are deleted unanswered. I know it's easier for women in terms of getting a response, but honestly, my profile's terrifying lol It's long (which I'm told men hate) but it's damned funny. Show your sense of humour, or anything that might make you stand out from the crowd. You do have to be thick skinned, but remember, sometimes it only takes one response __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.

01-22-2009, 04:10 PM	#4
ghost69 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Desert Gender: Male Posts: 33,434	how long you been on it? __________________ Not only am I friendly, but I'm invisible too. Too perfect of a relationship is too weird-g69 If you say you are normal, I'd think you are weird-g69 The world can only get better, it depends on how you look at it-g69 'As wicked as you are, you're beautiful to me'-5fingerdeathpunch you cannot control the world, you can only live in it the best you can for you-g69 NooOoOoooOOoOoOoooooo

01-22-2009, 04:11 PM	#6
savignon Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Posts: 1,533	Online dating can be ego-crushing for sure. In the end, though, if a girl isn't attracted to your looks or your culture, it's just not a good match. I did online dating and often got enough emails that I ignored winks/kisses or whatever it is. Why not try sending a message to some of these girls? If you're attracted to girls in your culture, seek them out instead of waiting for other girls to respond. I doubt you're ugly and culture will only be a problem to people you don't want to waste your time with anyway. Best wishes. __________________ "It'll all be okay in the end....so if it's not okay, it's not the end." -Unknown

01-22-2009, 04:18 PM	#8
metrogirl Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: SGV Gender: Female Age: 39 Posts: 4,686	Any random Joe can send winks or kisses to dozens of women at one time hoping to illicit a response from at least one of them. You'll likely have better results if you leave a message, include some hobbies or interests. Just sending a 'kiss or wink' is kind lame and seems desperate almost. __________________ Whether one believes in a religion or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion. Dalai Lama Any hope I had for my Seahawks flew out the window when I heard Lofa Tatupu will be out for the rest of the season. (sighs) They call me Ghettro.......Well Scorpion Fury does anyway. LOL

01-22-2009, 04:10 PM	#5
sweeteyez Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Posts: 106	Maybe you have just not found the right match? I get messages and nothing is wrong with the person trying to get to know me, they are not ugly or anything just not my type. I just finally found one person after many winks, smiles ect that really stood out to me, and started speaking to him...Just takes time. good luck.

01-22-2009, 04:28 PM	#10
hockeyboy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: New England Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 2,963	i think "winking" at somebody online is probably just about as effective as "winking" at a stranger in public. __________________ "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"