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  1. #1
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    What a shy guy does to show interest in a girl(List of signs)

    I previously posted this thread in the "Dating" section, this forum seems more appropriate.

    I found this site a couple weeks ago and decided to sign up. So for my first post................

    I see the same threads being made daily with the topic along the lines of "When a guy [insert action] what does it mean?". Being a shy guy myself I'm going to explain what some of our actions towards a potential date/girlfreind/ or crush mean.
    If a shy guy does the following he definately have a crush on you:

    1. Looks at you when you are not looking (looks away when you look at him)

    2. Doesn't talk to you when with your friends

    3. When trying to initiate converstaion, asks dead end questions -

    e.g "Did you do your homework?" instead of "How did you get on with your homework?"

    4. Ignores you -

    This is the most misinterpereted. If he completely ignores you in a public setting he likes you.
    If he converses with you and politly excuses himself in a hurry with no real reason he doesn't like you.

    5. If he puts you on the spot when conversing with his friends he likes you.

    6. If you flirt with each other via text/ msn etc frequently and you agree to go on a date and he suddenly stops texting/msn'ing he is too shy/scared or broke. He still likes you but will be embaressed from then on.

    7. If he flirts with you via eye contact, you approach him and he says very little but has no intention of ending the converstation, he likes you.

    8. If he has known you for a long period of time and is now randomly initiating conversation with you when it is not required (ie. group work in school etc), he likes you.

    9. If you casually mention your boyfriend and he takes longer than usual to reply or add on to the conversation, he likes you.

    10. If you think you are polar opposites and he keeps initiating conversation with you, he likes you.

    11. If he acts different towards you than anybody else, even guys lol, he likes you.

    How do you let him know to make a move:

    1. Give a subtle/cheeky smile and a quick/little wave - if he doesn't act on it he is definately not interested

    2. Ask of his future plans (ie. for the weekend etc) and when he is free. If he responds using the word "nothing", he is interested. All you have to say is "me too" with an awkward silence after, he should ask you out.

    3. Initiate conversation when no other friends are around. With no pressure he should talk freely. A simple "Hey. It's freezing/roasting today isn't it?" should do the trick.

    You should also know:

    1. Shy guys don't reject girls harshly, we would rather make up a polite excuse as to why we would not go out with her.

    So to conclude, I hope this helps girls that are unsure about us. The best advice I can give is approach us when there are no peers around.

  2. #2
    Member Stuffy Nose's Avatar
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    Wow, great job on this. I totally agree with everything, except the part about ignoring the girl.

    I've found that if she's alone, I won't ignore her, but if with friends, or otherwise unavailable to me (from a shy guy's standpoint), then I will ignore her.

    "The best advice I can give is approach us when there are no peers around," this is very true, but an alternative (if the girl is also shy), is to look available for us to approach when we see you (i.e., don't look busy, be surrounded by other girls, etc)
    The heart has reasons which reason knows not.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuffy Nose View Post
    Wow, great job on this. I totally agree with everything, except the part about ignoring the girl.

    I've found that if she's alone, I won't ignore her, but if with friends, or otherwise unavailable to me (from a shy guy's standpoint), then I will ignore her.

    "The best advice I can give is approach us when there are no peers around," this is very true, but an alternative (if the girl is also shy), is to look available for us to approach when we see you (i.e., don't look busy, be surrounded by other girls, etc)
    Yup

    And also, even though shy guys are quiet, we have LOADS to say.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member HerDestiny's Avatar
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    This is great info! I happen to be with a 'shy guy' and I'm very social so I have the hardest time understanding him. He's always staying away from me or ignoring me in the type of situations you guys describe and he has tried to explain this to me but I didn't understand. The way you put it, NOW I get it!

    If I look busy to him, he'll hardly ever say or do anything to let me know that he wants my attention. If I look busy, he finds something to do and ends up by himself. This has been one of our biggest, most confusing problems the past two years.

    And yes, he asks those 'dead end' questions and I end up looking at him, scratching my head...

    We confuse each other a lot.

  5.  

  6. 01-17-2009, 11:11 PM


  7. #5
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    "1. Looks at you when you are not looking (looks away when you look at him)

    2. Doesn't talk to you when with your friends

    3. When trying to initiate converstaion, asks dead end questions -

    e.g "Did you do your homework?" instead of "How did you get on with your homework?"

    4. Ignores you -

    This is the most misinterpereted. If he completely ignores you in a public setting he likes you.
    If he converses with you and politly excuses himself in a hurry with no real reason he doesn't like you.

    5. If he puts you on the spot when conversing with his friends he likes you.

    6. If you flirt with each other via text/ msn etc frequently and you agree to go on a date and he suddenly stops texting/msn'ing he is too shy/scared or broke. He still likes you but will be embaressed from then on.

    7. If he flirts with you via eye contact, you approach him and he says very little but has no intention of ending the converstation, he likes you.

    8. If he has known you for a long period of time and is now randomly initiating conversation with you when it is not required (ie. group work in school etc), he likes you.

    9. If you casually mention your boyfriend and he takes longer than usual to reply or add on to the conversation, he likes you.

    10. If you think you are polar opposites and he keeps initiating conversation with you, he likes you.

    11. If he acts different towards you than anybody else, even guys lol, he likes you.

    How do you let him know to make a move:

    1. Give a subtle/cheeky smile and a quick/little wave - if he doesn't act on it he is definately not interested

    2. Ask of his future plans (ie. for the weekend etc) and when he is free. If he responds using the word "nothing", he is interested. All you have to say is "me too" with an awkward silence after, he should ask you out.

    3. Initiate conversation when no other friends are around. With no pressure he should talk freely. A simple "Hey. It's freezing/roasting today isn't it?" should do the trick.

    You should also know:

    1. Shy guys don't reject girls harshly, we would rather make up a polite excuse as to why we would not go out with her.

    So to conclude, I hope this helps girls that are unsure about us. The best advice I can give is approach us when there are no peers around."






    A shy man WILL ignore you when he starts to get anxious HE WILL GET SCARED IF HE SEES YOU WANT HIM TO or notices that you are "watching' him and waiting bcuz he feels the pressure BUT he will find some way to keep the connection going..even if he ignores you for a while such as saying hello, catching you looking AT HIM stopping you to give you some random info or ask a dead end question, etc.

    I think the OP would agree with me IF they are coming around and being in your face (or hanging out near you, by you, any place he can see you) EVEN IF HE IS TERRIBLY SHY that means he wants you but just can't get it together to approach you for a date.

    IF HE STOPS DOING ANY OF THIS FOR MORE THAN A DAY OR SO then he is not interested but even the shyest of men won't go away completely JUST BEING CLOSE ENOUGH TO LOOK (OR STARE) AT YOU IS FLIRTING TO THEM AND KEEPING YOUR CONNECTION GOING!!!!!!!!!

    Its all about there comfort level and what they percieve as the truth about you and themselves.

    I am going through this now so i am getting good at reading his shy guy - anxiety filled signals. After all this time he still won't go away or stop his "stalking" behavior..lol..he's still trying to get comfortable with me and i am letting him do that bcuz i see the improvement in him.

    There was a time he couldn't make eye contact or even say hello - now he can do that and so much more!!! We even share a few laughs regularly now and we both stay around one another as much as possible now..something he also had trouble with. He use to be a nervous wreck around me.

    Now he only gets nervous if i do something special for him or to show him i think he's special; emailing him, baking for him, sending him a card..he gets really nervous and anxious BUT he won't stay away from me. He will be where ever i am (he knows my schedule now) so he is always where i am supposed to be BEFORE I GET THERE sometims even making it very obvious he is there to see me, hang out by me, etc. so i know my gestures are working bcuz if he didn't like it HE'D GO AWAY AND STAY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He has even started coming around me more and initiating conversation so i know its working!!!!!!! Especially when i tell him on Monday i thought about him over the weekend or that something made me think of him - its made him so much more comfortable now...he smiles so much now when we talk.

    So don't give up on them, they are worth it.


    I hope this helps as well.
    Last edited by shygal2008; 01-18-2009 at 07:48 AM.

  8. #6
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    shygal2008, your spot on. You must really like him if your being this patient.

  9. #7
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    I forgot to add, he repeats himself ALOT with me. He will approach me to ask me about something we already covered. Wether i emailed him the info or we talked previously AND he will nervously repeat the same few words to me over and over when talking to me.

    For example. I asked him about boxes that were being stacked in the lobby and he told me it was cookie dough (i recently gave him a tin of baked goods) and he was like "oh yeah..its cookie dough so you go help yourself.."

    Then i said that i had already finished my baking and he said it again "its there so go help yourself' then i said that i may next time..and then he thanKed me for the second time for the cookies I BAKED FOR HIM him (he thanked me already when i first gave them to him) and then as he was leaving he said ''go help yourself to the cookie dough'' AGAIN!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!

    He does that sort of thing alot..i assume thats nervousness on his part =) he's so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. #8
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    What if they don't reply when you email them (even though they smile and say hi when you see them in person)? Does that mean they just don't want to write back to you, or are they too shy to know what to write?
    I'm a Sagittarian. That's all you need to know.

  11. #9
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    I dunno, email is a really impersonal way of communicating and it's pretty easy to overcome shyness through IM or email. No reply is never a good thing, but of course people have their reasons (busy, tired, other important email) so it's neither a sign of interest of necessarily disinterest.
    I wake up in the morning and piss excellence.

  12. #10
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    I know when someone is super shy they tend to have an issuewith talking on the phone and soetimes emailing as well. Especially if it s nervous and anxious guy who is inexperienced. For some reason having to reply or call someone is sometimes a very diffiuclt thing..not sure why though.

    Fear of looking awkward or silly?

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