How low can you go?

waveseer · 01-08-2009, 11:21 AM

My future ex husband asked me for the kids ss cards so he could use them to apply for assistance. My children lack nothing, I have more than enough resources to provide for them without using charity that other people depend on to survive. My future ex husband wanted to use his children to get help from social services organizations. Could someone please assure me that this is the bottom, the lowest he can go to avoid working? Does anyone know of any other tricks he could try to pull at other people's expense?

Loki71 · 01-08-2009, 11:30 AM

I would say he hit bottom and I would not give them to him. Do the kids every stay with him?

waveseer · 01-08-2009, 11:35 AM

I have been very flexible in sharing the children because I doubt he will be able to afford a place to have them stay fairly soon, so there was no reason for me to be harsh about it. I am in a strange circumstance atm because I'm on a trip and unable to return home due to weather conditions. Today is a sit tight day and I thought it was a good opportunity to find out from others what I may be faced with in the near future.

When I said no, that would be fraud because I can support the children just fine, he said, "So that's the way you want to play it."

Loki71 · 01-08-2009, 11:44 AM

I really don't know I kinda agree with you but at the same time if they are staying with him for at least a total of six months of the year then he maybe allowed to do it. You may want to get legal advice on it.

KG · 01-08-2009, 11:57 AM

R2H,
Contact Social Services...you don't have to give any names. Find out if he legally has the right.

But if he's using the $$ for him, I'd tell him to head down the road. That is low!

waveseer · 01-08-2009, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KG

R2H,
Contact Social Services...you don't have to give any names. Find out if he legally has the right.

But if he's using the $$ for him, I'd tell him to head down the road. That is low!

His plan was to use the $$ for himself, I think I thwarted his plan though. He knows me well enough to know I'd report him.

My children are not in need. They probably have more than they should. lol

waveseer · 01-08-2009, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loki71

I really don't know I kinda agree with you but at the same time if they are staying with him for at least a total of six months of the year then he maybe allowed to do it. You may want to get legal advice on it.

I have always provided for my children 100% no matter where they are.

hmdreamer7 · 01-08-2009, 12:30 PM

That comment he made sounded kinda unfair, "So that's the way you want to play it." More like he's playing you. I think you did the right thing in not giving him the ss cards, but to be on the safe side, I'd find out the legalities behind using your childrens' cards for financial assistance.

renaissancewoman101 · 01-08-2009, 12:40 PM

I do have one question, why are you assuming ALL the financial responsibilities for the children, of the divorce. I do think he should legally be responsible for SOME of the financial responsibilities for the both of yours children, and SHOULD contribute to it (whether it be through his own pocket or collecting UI or assistance, since with his work and financial situation, he is eligible for it).

That way you don't get the brunt of everything.

waveseer · 01-08-2009, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by renaissancewoman101

I do have one question, why are you assuming ALL the financial responsibilities for the children, of the divorce. I do think he should legally be responsible for SOME of the financial responsibilities for the both of yours children, and SHOULD contribute to it (whether it be through his own pocket or collecting UI or assistance, since with his work and financial situation, he is eligible for it).

That way you don't get the brunt of everything.

He is basically unemployed by choice. There is no agreement currently in place, but I will be progressing with the legal processes starting next week. I realized that my reason for postponing (because I know he will become very uncooperative and possibly verbally abusive) is no long a good enough reason in light of recent events.

I hope he can find everything he needs but not at the expense of anyone else.

01-08-2009, 11:21 AM	#1
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	How low can you go? My future ex husband asked me for the kids ss cards so he could use them to apply for assistance. My children lack nothing, I have more than enough resources to provide for them without using charity that other people depend on to survive. My future ex husband wanted to use his children to get help from social services organizations. Could someone please assure me that this is the bottom, the lowest he can go to avoid working? Does anyone know of any other tricks he could try to pull at other people's expense? __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

01-08-2009, 11:30 AM	#2
Loki71 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In a new world reborn. Gender: Male Posts: 1,079	I would say he hit bottom and I would not give them to him. Do the kids every stay with him? __________________ The family is the fundamental unit of society and the primary setting in which children develop virtue. God has placed families at the center of His eternal plan for the happiness of His children.

01-08-2009, 11:35 AM	#3
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	I have been very flexible in sharing the children because I doubt he will be able to afford a place to have them stay fairly soon, so there was no reason for me to be harsh about it. I am in a strange circumstance atm because I'm on a trip and unable to return home due to weather conditions. Today is a sit tight day and I thought it was a good opportunity to find out from others what I may be faced with in the near future. When I said no, that would be fraud because I can support the children just fine, he said, "So that's the way you want to play it." __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

01-08-2009, 11:44 AM	#4
Loki71 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In a new world reborn. Gender: Male Posts: 1,079	I really don't know I kinda agree with you but at the same time if they are staying with him for at least a total of six months of the year then he maybe allowed to do it. You may want to get legal advice on it. __________________ The family is the fundamental unit of society and the primary setting in which children develop virtue. God has placed families at the center of His eternal plan for the happiness of His children.

01-08-2009, 11:57 AM	#5
KG Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: 2 miles east of Hicksville Gender: Male Posts: 4,905	R2H, Contact Social Services...you don't have to give any names. Find out if he legally has the right. But if he's using the $$ for him, I'd tell him to head down the road. That is low! __________________ Life is just a word until you go through it. I've got the scars to prove it.

01-08-2009, 12:30 PM	#8
hmdreamer7 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 25 Posts: 448	That comment he made sounded kinda unfair, "So that's the way you want to play it." More like he's playing you. I think you did the right thing in not giving him the ss cards, but to be on the safe side, I'd find out the legalities behind using your childrens' cards for financial assistance. __________________ * You have a right to experiment with you life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too. -Anais Nin

01-08-2009, 12:40 PM	#9
renaissancewoman101 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the land by the sea Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 8,564	I do have one question, why are you assuming ALL the financial responsibilities for the children, of the divorce. I do think he should legally be responsible for SOME of the financial responsibilities for the both of yours children, and SHOULD contribute to it (whether it be through his own pocket or collecting UI or assistance, since with his work and financial situation, he is eligible for it). That way you don't get the brunt of everything.