my father and what he did

christianna · 01-04-2009, 12:18 PM

This might not seem a major issue unless you like cats.Well, I live in an apartment that doesn't allow cats. I never brought one inside, but I begun to feed outdoor cats who had no other source of food at the time. I was never aware this was against the rules of the apartments, not that I asked however. A neighbor of mine adopted one of the cats, and told us ( me and my brother live in the same apartment) to keep it secret from the apartment managment. We did. My father who neither me nor my brother gets along with very well, but who we have to be nice to since he supports us through college stopped by because we had a plumbing problem that nearly made our apartment a huge mess with water damage since we couldn't get ahold of the apartment maintenence man.

I hesitated to have my father there, but we had nobody else to help us with the overflowing water, and my mother called him ( she lives a ways away) and asked him to come. He showed up and did help us with the plumbing issue. But he also saw the neighbor's cat in the window, and he noticed we were feeding outdoor cats, which we didn't really bother to keep secret from him, since he has always seemed to like cats, and in fact he and his wife have a cat. He spotted the neighbor's cat on his own, and we thought since he seemed to like cats ( and in fact at one point he and my mother kept cats against an apartment's rules, many years ago according to her) he wouldn't tell the apartment managment. Well, he told on us, to the apartment managment. He said we were feeding outdoor cats and that the neighbor had a cat he had seen in the window. So the landlady came and wasn't happy with me for feeding outdoor cats, and told me not to do so again or be evicted. I assured her we have NEVER had an indoor pet, and weren't aware feeding outdoor cats OUTSIDE was frowned in. She also said the neighbor would have to get rid of her indoor cat, which I can understand. She said my father told her about seeing the cat in the window and then about us feeding stray cats. I didn't want the cats including kittens to starve seeing as it is the depths of winter here in rural Iowa and brutally cold, so I made sure another neighbor who lives across the street in an different apartment building where they don't mind people feeding outdoor cats outside( that's what she told me) is now feeding the cats. I also contacted the local humane society, but as they don't have a building, they couldn't do anything for me.

I am glad the cats are being fed by the other neighbor across the street, but as these are kittens we have fed since infancy, it's hard not feed them anymore. Also, my father in the past used to live in this same apartment building that I now live in, and when he lived there, he knew people fed outdoor cats ( he told me so), but he never reported it to the management at the time- so why tell on us now???? He told on his own kids for feeding stray cats outdoors, and then told on our neighbor with the pet cat and got us both in trouble with the landlady, yet he himself and his wife have a cat.

He was nice to many pet cats we had over the years when we were children. I had no idea he would ever tell on us. I do believe though my father likes to inflict pain us, his own kids- he has before, although he helps support us somewhat through college.

Honey Pumpkin · 01-04-2009, 12:30 PM

Have you asked him why he did this?

Love_Music · 01-04-2009, 01:02 PM

That's kinda weird your own dad told on you about feeding cats. Maybe he's trying to get back at you for something???

christianna · 01-04-2009, 01:12 PM

No, I didn't bring it up with him. We would just start yelling and I always fear he will decide not pay for things if I yell at him. I think he might have done it because he had to pay for us to stay in a hotel one night due to apartment and he had to buy us new towels and a rug since they were ruined by sewer water. He has money, but hates to spend more than the minimum on us. He was complaining about the cost of the above and also that he had to come and help us with the plumbing problem since we couldn't get ahold of anyone else ( it was sunday night, just after Christmas). My father looked like he enjoyed telling on us- his eyes lit up, I swear. I think my father's a sociopath- one of my friends who was a psychology major told me he was. I have read books about sociopaths, too, and my father sounds like one. He does support us through college a little bit, but not much. He was emotionally abusive we were children and has caused a long litany of problems over the years.

Love_Music · 01-04-2009, 01:26 PM

Ohh... not good at all. Well do you think he would open to maybe try counseling?

If he doesn't want to try counseling, then if I were you, I would try talking to him one on one and telling him how you feel. If that didn't work, it might be best to have as little contact with him as possible.

As far as school is concerned, could you not receive grants to pay for it along with your books?

Crazyaboutdogs · 01-04-2009, 01:53 PM

Your father just likes to flex his muscles and show that he is the boss and he can do whatever he wants. That's too bad that he would sell out his own children...but given what you say he was like when you were growing up, it is not too surprising. There are some people out there who just like to create problems for others.

01-04-2009, 12:18 PM	#1
christianna Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 101	my father and what he did This might not seem a major issue unless you like cats.Well, I live in an apartment that doesn't allow cats. I never brought one inside, but I begun to feed outdoor cats who had no other source of food at the time. I was never aware this was against the rules of the apartments, not that I asked however. A neighbor of mine adopted one of the cats, and told us ( me and my brother live in the same apartment) to keep it secret from the apartment managment. We did. My father who neither me nor my brother gets along with very well, but who we have to be nice to since he supports us through college stopped by because we had a plumbing problem that nearly made our apartment a huge mess with water damage since we couldn't get ahold of the apartment maintenence man. I hesitated to have my father there, but we had nobody else to help us with the overflowing water, and my mother called him ( she lives a ways away) and asked him to come. He showed up and did help us with the plumbing issue. But he also saw the neighbor's cat in the window, and he noticed we were feeding outdoor cats, which we didn't really bother to keep secret from him, since he has always seemed to like cats, and in fact he and his wife have a cat. He spotted the neighbor's cat on his own, and we thought since he seemed to like cats ( and in fact at one point he and my mother kept cats against an apartment's rules, many years ago according to her) he wouldn't tell the apartment managment. Well, he told on us, to the apartment managment. He said we were feeding outdoor cats and that the neighbor had a cat he had seen in the window. So the landlady came and wasn't happy with me for feeding outdoor cats, and told me not to do so again or be evicted. I assured her we have NEVER had an indoor pet, and weren't aware feeding outdoor cats OUTSIDE was frowned in. She also said the neighbor would have to get rid of her indoor cat, which I can understand. She said my father told her about seeing the cat in the window and then about us feeding stray cats. I didn't want the cats including kittens to starve seeing as it is the depths of winter here in rural Iowa and brutally cold, so I made sure another neighbor who lives across the street in an different apartment building where they don't mind people feeding outdoor cats outside( that's what she told me) is now feeding the cats. I also contacted the local humane society, but as they don't have a building, they couldn't do anything for me. I am glad the cats are being fed by the other neighbor across the street, but as these are kittens we have fed since infancy, it's hard not feed them anymore. Also, my father in the past used to live in this same apartment building that I now live in, and when he lived there, he knew people fed outdoor cats ( he told me so), but he never reported it to the management at the time- so why tell on us now???? He told on his own kids for feeding stray cats outdoors, and then told on our neighbor with the pet cat and got us both in trouble with the landlady, yet he himself and his wife have a cat. He was nice to many pet cats we had over the years when we were children. I had no idea he would ever tell on us. I do believe though my father likes to inflict pain us, his own kids- he has before, although he helps support us somewhat through college.

01-04-2009, 12:30 PM	#2
Honey Pumpkin Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 2,396	Have you asked him why he did this? __________________ “Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake…” (Francis Bacon, 1561 – 1626)

01-04-2009, 01:02 PM	#3
Love_Music Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: south carolina Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 211	That's kinda weird your own dad told on you about feeding cats. Maybe he's trying to get back at you for something??? __________________ So sweet and innocent I never saw it coming A permanent hole inside my heart Wish I woulda seen it from the start Learned my lesson the hard way Never gonna be the same again Murder in the first degree The minute he took one look at me Murder, murder, murder He hit me in the heart...

01-04-2009, 01:26 PM	#5
Love_Music Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: south carolina Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 211	Ohh... not good at all. Well do you think he would open to maybe try counseling? If he doesn't want to try counseling, then if I were you, I would try talking to him one on one and telling him how you feel. If that didn't work, it might be best to have as little contact with him as possible. As far as school is concerned, could you not receive grants to pay for it along with your books? __________________ So sweet and innocent I never saw it coming A permanent hole inside my heart Wish I woulda seen it from the start Learned my lesson the hard way Never gonna be the same again Murder in the first degree The minute he took one look at me Murder, murder, murder He hit me in the heart...

01-04-2009, 01:12 PM	#4
christianna Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 101	No, I didn't bring it up with him. We would just start yelling and I always fear he will decide not pay for things if I yell at him. I think he might have done it because he had to pay for us to stay in a hotel one night due to apartment and he had to buy us new towels and a rug since they were ruined by sewer water. He has money, but hates to spend more than the minimum on us. He was complaining about the cost of the above and also that he had to come and help us with the plumbing problem since we couldn't get ahold of anyone else ( it was sunday night, just after Christmas). My father looked like he enjoyed telling on us- his eyes lit up, I swear. I think my father's a sociopath- one of my friends who was a psychology major told me he was. I have read books about sociopaths, too, and my father sounds like one. He does support us through college a little bit, but not much. He was emotionally abusive we were children and has caused a long litany of problems over the years.

01-04-2009, 01:53 PM	#6
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,630	Your father just likes to flex his muscles and show that he is the boss and he can do whatever he wants. That's too bad that he would sell out his own children...but given what you say he was like when you were growing up, it is not too surprising. There are some people out there who just like to create problems for others.