Stress

gardengnome · 01-04-2009, 05:30 AM

Basically, I keep having nightmares that everyone finds out I'm gay and I get fired and lose all my friends. I just didn't want to go to bed tonight.

I think it happens because I'm stressed during the day about it, but it's a lot worse at night in the dreams.

How do I sleep better? Pills? Sleep Less so I don't dream?

I kind've got out of my busy schedule for a few weeks, but I should be back to it in a week. I think I'll have too many other things on my mind and I'll be good.

IndigoEye · 01-04-2009, 07:23 AM

Both of your suggestions evade the root problem. Consult a dream analyst. This seems like a worthy issue over which to do so. They can do phone sessions.

chiefoptimizer · 01-04-2009, 08:32 AM

Where do you live? Do you live with parents? What job do you do, can they really fire you for being gay?

Don't think you'll lose all your friends, the true friends will stick to your side, you can't get rid of them

I always thought I'd lose all my friends when they knew I was gay, but it didn't work out that way - they either were happy that I had come to terms with it, didn't care at all, or had a short moment of denial or not understanding, but even these got over it. Bottomline, I've told probably about 50 people so far, including my parents, and not a single soul has deserted me.

I think it has a lot to do with how confident you're about it though, so don't even try to come out to anyone before you're entirely comfortable with who you are. some people (including my parents) will want you to get psychiatric help or something, like ex-gay things, but if you're confident and happy, then you can show them you don't need that kind of help, and are happy the way you are.

I would totally go for the dream doctor tho, and get a professional opinion.

icemotoboy · 01-04-2009, 11:21 PM

Um, I'm not a dream doctor but I'm going to take a stab in the dark and suggest that maybe the reason you are having these nightmares is because you are worried people will find out you are gay, and you will loose your friends and job?

If this is the case, what the heck is a dream doctor going to tell you? Go see a counselor. Don't medicate the problem, deal with the problem. Sleeping pills should only be used as a "vacation" from a sleeping problem... never as a solution.

gardengnome · 01-09-2009, 02:52 AM

3:00 AM.. YES!!!!!....................... i guess tomorrow i'll be tired enough to sleep.

unabashed · 01-09-2009, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icemotoboy

Um, I'm not a dream doctor but I'm going to take a stab in the dark and suggest that maybe the reason you are having these nightmares is because you are worried people will find out you are gay, and you will loose your friends and job?

If this is the case, what the heck is a dream doctor going to tell you? Go see a counselor. Don't medicate the problem, deal with the problem. Sleeping pills should only be used as a "vacation" from a sleeping problem... never as a solution.

Once again, your advice can't be beat. This type of anxiety has to do with your feelings about yourself and who you are. See someone who can help you deal with yourself and your fears.

01-04-2009, 05:30 AM	#1
gardengnome Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 94	Stress Basically, I keep having nightmares that everyone finds out I'm gay and I get fired and lose all my friends. I just didn't want to go to bed tonight. I think it happens because I'm stressed during the day about it, but it's a lot worse at night in the dreams. How do I sleep better? Pills? Sleep Less so I don't dream? I kind've got out of my busy schedule for a few weeks, but I should be back to it in a week. I think I'll have too many other things on my mind and I'll be good.

01-04-2009, 08:32 AM	#3
chiefoptimizer Offline Silver Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Exeter Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 488	Where do you live? Do you live with parents? What job do you do, can they really fire you for being gay? Don't think you'll lose all your friends, the true friends will stick to your side, you can't get rid of them I always thought I'd lose all my friends when they knew I was gay, but it didn't work out that way - they either were happy that I had come to terms with it, didn't care at all, or had a short moment of denial or not understanding, but even these got over it. Bottomline, I've told probably about 50 people so far, including my parents, and not a single soul has deserted me. I think it has a lot to do with how confident you're about it though, so don't even try to come out to anyone before you're entirely comfortable with who you are. some people (including my parents) will want you to get psychiatric help or something, like ex-gay things, but if you're confident and happy, then you can show them you don't need that kind of help, and are happy the way you are. I would totally go for the dream doctor tho, and get a professional opinion. __________________ There is no fate but what we make!

01-04-2009, 11:21 PM	#4
icemotoboy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Wellington, NZ Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 1,004	Um, I'm not a dream doctor but I'm going to take a stab in the dark and suggest that maybe the reason you are having these nightmares is because you are worried people will find out you are gay, and you will loose your friends and job? If this is the case, what the heck is a dream doctor going to tell you? Go see a counselor. Don't medicate the problem, deal with the problem. Sleeping pills should only be used as a "vacation" from a sleeping problem... never as a solution. __________________ The IMB Facts of Life: 1. No contact, or punch him in the face. Anything else is more than he deserves 2. Life is not what you see, its how you see it 3. You can't swim unless you're in the water. So get in it. Then you have a choice. Swim, or drown 4. Being wrong is an opportunity to be right next time 5. Suffer, grow, overcome. The path to happiness

01-04-2009, 07:23 AM	#2
IndigoEye Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: US Gender: Male Posts: 271	Both of your suggestions evade the root problem. Consult a dream analyst. This seems like a worthy issue over which to do so. They can do phone sessions.

01-09-2009, 02:52 AM	#5
gardengnome Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 94	3:00 AM.. YES!!!!!....................... i guess tomorrow i'll be tired enough to sleep.