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  1. #1
    Platinum Member Daligal83's Avatar
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    ex won't tell me about his new girlfriend

    I broke up with my ex in April. He definitely did not want the break up, but wanted to stay friends. Even though I've had a non-existent dating life since then, I'm really happy that I made that decision because he just was not the right person for me.

    So we still talk, but only through instant messenger really. I found out a couple months ago through Facebook that he has a new girlfriend and I was happy to realize that it didn't bother me at all. I see pictures of them together and I'm fine. Just more evidence that I made the right decision.

    What does bother me is that he hasn't told me about her. Right now he's away for an internship, and she goes to school where I live. So he'll tell me that he went to this city to visit friends. He'll say that he really misses people here. And he also frequently asks to hang out when he comes back.

    I'm just wondering if you guys have any insight if this is something I need to worry about. I mean if I was in her position, I'd be really upset if my boyfriend was asking his ex to hang out but hadn't told her about me. And I have seen him in person since he started dating her and nada.
    Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.
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  2. #2
    la'isla's Avatar
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    i myself don't see anything wrong with it..then again i am kind of reserved about things like this. if he doesn't want to tell you then he doesn't. plus i think he KNOWS that you know about her, since you saw her pictures on facebook. so what's the big deal?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    Is it possible that he told her about you but just didn't tell you about her?
    "A word to the kind: when I sense I'm hurting someone, I am. The fact that someone would be weak enough to tolerate that from me doesn't make me less responsible for my actions, it makes me more responsible". Catfeeder

  4. #4
    Member ad-mortem's Avatar
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    It could be that he feels awkward telling you because you used to date and wants to keep his relationships completely seperate from his friendship with you so as not to confuse things. Or it could simply be that he didn't think to say you, especially if they aren't too serious.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
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    Seems like an awkward thing to talk about.
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    People are my religion and I believe in them.
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    - Andrew Jackson Jihad

    Though my soul may set in darkness, it shall rise is perfect light
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  7. #6
    Platinum Member Daligal83's Avatar
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    It is an awkward thing to talk about and I can understand him not telling me about someone serious. We're not going to be the friends we were before we dated where we tell each other about our love lives. But they've been dating for a couple months...so I'd think by now the relationship is important enough to mention. It sounds like I'm just over thinking it though.
    Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.
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    "If you can't trust, then you can't be trusted" -Ben Folds

  8. #7
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    I agree with DW...awkward topic. It's not necessary to bring it up IMO. I see my ex from time to time (small campus) and we chat about our lives (what's new, what we have been up to) but I never bring up my bf. I just don't see the need. Whether or not the relationship is important or serious (getting there in my case) makes no difference as to whether or not I tell my ex. If I were to get engaged I would probably mention if asked what is new in my life, but other than that, I don't talk about it at all.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Daligal83's Avatar
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    lady...do you run into your ex or actually plan to get together? From how my ex talks, it's like he wants an actual friendship where we call each other up to go hang out.
    Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.
    ~Salvador Dali~


    "If you can't trust, then you can't be trusted" -Ben Folds

  10. #9
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    Also, he knows that you know about her...you found out on his facebook so he is actually being really open about the existence of the relationship--to everyone.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
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    My bf used to call me over the summer. We'd never talk about his new girlfriend. And they went out for like 3 months or so...

    Cept once he did mention that she got drunk and threw up in his car. I think that was his way of saying that it wasn't going very well....

    Still, it's a sensitive topic. I mean, what could he say about her? Not to mention, talking about a new girlfriend, he probably thinks, is rude and mean to you. I would be glad that he doesn't bring it up. Seems like a nice guy.
    If you like Dota, PM me for my steamID

    People are my religion and I believe in them.
    I have faith in my fellow man and I only hope that he has faith in me
    - Andrew Jackson Jihad

    Though my soul may set in darkness, it shall rise is perfect light
    For I know the stars too fondly to be frightened of the night.

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