Leaving early and girlfriend dosn't like it

weegee · 12-28-2008, 05:43 AM

Hi

I'm at uni and my girlfriends at college, its a good 5 hour train journey to see each other so we have been looking forward to the christmass holidays for a long to time.

I have exams coming up when i get back to uni on the 11th and i thought it wouldn't be so bad given the work i had put in before i left so i thought that i could stay with girlfriend untill four days before i needed to go back. but doing some revision last night i realised I'm gonna need top do a lot more work then i thought.

Me and my girlfriend where supost to be heading back to hers ojn new years eve(we even brought the tickets) and today i told her i wont be comming dew to my work load. this didnt't do down well as a expected.

She is suicidal and has gone very quite and wont even let me touch her arm. she has also started trying to get back onto her pro suicide forums again. i have no idea what to do i really want to go back to hers but if i do that i will fail my exams.

Thanks for any help

Silvery · 12-28-2008, 06:39 AM

pro suicide forum? wow, i didnt know such website exsist.

Sounds to me she's very narrow minded and selfish, sure if i'm in her shoe i wouldnt be happy but i am understanding enough to not get too upset over it. You need to reassure her that you're concerned about your exam and its nothing because of her. Then again, i know she probably wouldnt listen to all this... Does she has a friend you can also make sure he/she keeps an eye on your gf?

weegee · 12-28-2008, 06:58 AM

nope there is no one. I'v worked it out so that i can spend new years with her which I'm happy about as it will be our first new years together.

Hope she doesn't try anything, but there is no way to make sure.

lemondust · 12-28-2008, 08:00 AM

Hi Weegee,

It's evident you care a great deal about your girlfriend, which is wonderful, however it sounds as if you're being held over an emotional knife-edge, which isn't fair to you either.

It is easy in relationships to feel responsible for the ones we love and care for, ultimately though, we are responsible for ourselves.

purpleJ · 12-28-2008, 08:36 AM

i didnt know there were suicide forums!!

sounds like me when i was like 19 lol..although i wouldnt be suicidal but given the bf a hard time over it..she needs to grow up..she's being very unreasonable

right now if that was the case for me i just be happy my bf tried to spend more time with me even though he had exams coming up..i be upset but try not to show it so he can go back and study guilt free

Just try to inform anyone around her who could possibly keep an eye on her about this but not much more you can do

BeStrongBeHappy · 12-28-2008, 11:16 AM

>>She is suicidal and has gone very quite and wont even let me touch her arm. she has also started trying to get back onto her pro suicide forums again. i have no idea what to do i really want to go back to hers but if i do that i will fail my exams.

Really, this is so manipulative! She misses a few days with you and that means she should kill herself? Don't fall for this emotional blackmail. Tell her that if she's willing to kill herself over a few days with you, then she needs to spend those days not with you, but with a therapist or checked into the hospital for treatment of depression and suicidal tendencies.

She's holding these threats over your head like an axe, and really, if she's so messed up mentally right now that she'd actually do it, she needs to be with a therapist or in the hospital, not with you. Tell her parents about this, and let them do something about it.

Butterfly~Wrists · 12-28-2008, 11:27 AM

Excuse me BeStrongBeHappy, but I am not using these as threats, I have been thinking about ending it for a long time. Sorry, but I had to chip in here, I hate people presuming I am trying to guilt weegee into coming back to mine. I had a nightmare a few weeks back about weegee deciding to not spend new year with me, and things just set of in my mind. and its not a few days, its a week. but hey.

Shyguy24 · 12-28-2008, 11:27 AM

Hey you do care about your Gf which is a good thing

. Why dont you sit down with her and talk to her or take her out for dinner or buy her flowers.

I am sure she might be little down about you not being around on New years but if you show her you care , it may help to get her out of her state of mind.

I dont think she is selfish or anything , because she is not in the right mental state of mind . Try comforting her and show patience with her.

weegee · 12-28-2008, 11:38 AM

parents wont do anything to help her. her mum flushes her meds cos she thinks it will make her worse. and her mums boyfriend is a major contributing factor to the depression.

Well i took her out the night before i made this thread for a nice meal. And i have decided to go over to hers for new years, guess i will have to work a little bit harder when i get back.

BeStrongBeHappy · 12-28-2008, 11:39 AM

if missing one week with him makes you want to kill yourself, then you need to call a therapist right now. It is a small disappointment, and not the end of the world, and you need to get help to learn to put things into perspective. Please call a doctor today.

12-28-2008, 05:43 AM	#1
weegee Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: London Age: 21 Posts: 18	Leaving early and girlfriend dosn't like it Hi I'm at uni and my girlfriends at college, its a good 5 hour train journey to see each other so we have been looking forward to the christmass holidays for a long to time. I have exams coming up when i get back to uni on the 11th and i thought it wouldn't be so bad given the work i had put in before i left so i thought that i could stay with girlfriend untill four days before i needed to go back. but doing some revision last night i realised I'm gonna need top do a lot more work then i thought. Me and my girlfriend where supost to be heading back to hers ojn new years eve(we even brought the tickets) and today i told her i wont be comming dew to my work load. this didnt't do down well as a expected. She is suicidal and has gone very quite and wont even let me touch her arm. she has also started trying to get back onto her pro suicide forums again. i have no idea what to do i really want to go back to hers but if i do that i will fail my exams. Thanks for any help

12-28-2008, 11:27 AM	#8
Shyguy24 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: u.k Posts: 478	Hey you do care about your Gf which is a good thing . Why dont you sit down with her and talk to her or take her out for dinner or buy her flowers. I am sure she might be little down about you not being around on New years but if you show her you care , it may help to get her out of her state of mind. I dont think she is selfish or anything , because she is not in the right mental state of mind . Try comforting her and show patience with her. __________________ "Sometimes love just aint enough "

12-28-2008, 06:39 AM	#2
Silvery Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Malaysia Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 125	pro suicide forum? wow, i didnt know such website exsist. Sounds to me she's very narrow minded and selfish, sure if i'm in her shoe i wouldnt be happy but i am understanding enough to not get too upset over it. You need to reassure her that you're concerned about your exam and its nothing because of her. Then again, i know she probably wouldnt listen to all this... Does she has a friend you can also make sure he/she keeps an eye on your gf?

12-28-2008, 06:58 AM	#3
weegee Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: London Age: 21 Posts: 18	nope there is no one. I'v worked it out so that i can spend new years with her which I'm happy about as it will be our first new years together. Hope she doesn't try anything, but there is no way to make sure.

12-28-2008, 08:00 AM	#4
lemondust Offline Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 6	Hi Weegee, It's evident you care a great deal about your girlfriend, which is wonderful, however it sounds as if you're being held over an emotional knife-edge, which isn't fair to you either. It is easy in relationships to feel responsible for the ones we love and care for, ultimately though, we are responsible for ourselves.

12-28-2008, 08:36 AM	#5
purpleJ Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Female Posts: 205	i didnt know there were suicide forums!! sounds like me when i was like 19 lol..although i wouldnt be suicidal but given the bf a hard time over it..she needs to grow up..she's being very unreasonable right now if that was the case for me i just be happy my bf tried to spend more time with me even though he had exams coming up..i be upset but try not to show it so he can go back and study guilt free Just try to inform anyone around her who could possibly keep an eye on her about this but not much more you can do

12-28-2008, 11:16 AM	#6
BeStrongBeHappy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 7,415	>>She is suicidal and has gone very quite and wont even let me touch her arm. she has also started trying to get back onto her pro suicide forums again. i have no idea what to do i really want to go back to hers but if i do that i will fail my exams. Really, this is so manipulative! She misses a few days with you and that means she should kill herself? Don't fall for this emotional blackmail. Tell her that if she's willing to kill herself over a few days with you, then she needs to spend those days not with you, but with a therapist or checked into the hospital for treatment of depression and suicidal tendencies. She's holding these threats over your head like an axe, and really, if she's so messed up mentally right now that she'd actually do it, she needs to be with a therapist or in the hospital, not with you. Tell her parents about this, and let them do something about it.

12-28-2008, 11:27 AM	#7
Butterfly~Wrists Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 1,652	Excuse me BeStrongBeHappy, but I am not using these as threats, I have been thinking about ending it for a long time. Sorry, but I had to chip in here, I hate people presuming I am trying to guilt weegee into coming back to mine. I had a nightmare a few weeks back about weegee deciding to not spend new year with me, and things just set of in my mind. and its not a few days, its a week. but hey.

12-28-2008, 11:38 AM	#9
weegee Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: London Age: 21 Posts: 18	parents wont do anything to help her. her mum flushes her meds cos she thinks it will make her worse. and her mums boyfriend is a major contributing factor to the depression. Well i took her out the night before i made this thread for a nice meal. And i have decided to go over to hers for new years, guess i will have to work a little bit harder when i get back.

12-28-2008, 11:39 AM	#10
BeStrongBeHappy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 7,415	if missing one week with him makes you want to kill yourself, then you need to call a therapist right now. It is a small disappointment, and not the end of the world, and you need to get help to learn to put things into perspective. Please call a doctor today.