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Does your boyfriend take you out?


unwanted21

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My boyfriend never takes me out. He never makes plans for us to go anywhere. He'll just always tell me to come over or something and it's always the same old. At the beginning he would make a bit more effort, like he would make me romanitc dinners and stuff but now it's just nothing. I can understand that he's short on money right now but I dont think he needs to spend a lot to do something nice for me. And I'm totally not like one of those girls who needs to always go out, i'd be fine with him just taking me somewhere once in a while, but he never does. He makes 3 times as much money as me and I try to plan things to take HIM out when I really really cant afford it at all.

 

I was just wondering if anyone else's boyfriends take them out. And how can I hint to my boyfriend that I want to do something nice with him besides sit at home on the couch? He told me before that he likes the fact about me that he doesnt need to take me out to dinner every week and I'm low maintenance, (which is all true), but I just feel like, it wouldn't hurt to do something special once in a while.

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I had this problem with an ex before. When we first started dating, he took me out all the time and then it dwindled down to almost nil. I called him on it, because like you I'm not one that needs to go out each and every time. He said that he was having financial problems and felt like he wasn't a good boyfriend if he couldn't take me out so he just avoided going out all together. I had to drill it into his head that it's not always about being out and about. He could have told me to make some ham sandwhiches and taken me to a park to sit and eat but he didn't understand that concept right away.

 

You need to have a heart to heart with him and just explain that while you are content with not going out all the time, you still would like for him to take the initiative and do something for you/with you outside somewhere, sometime.

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I am too one of those girls that always has to be out and about and doing things. My boyfriend doesn't really "take me out" but we always decide to go out and do things together: movies, dinner, shopping, picnics, walks, beach trips, and many other things.

 

My advice is not to leave it entirely up to your boyfriend to take you out. If you're unhappy about not going out as much, why don't you make suggestions and take him out? There are plenty of activities to do which don't require spending money. If you start suggesting things you can do and start taking him out maybe he'll get the message and you'll get into a rhythm of going out more

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yes, he takes me out a lot actually. But there was a time when he was really short on money, and he didn't take me out. So I can understand what you mean. I think it would be a bit hard to ask him to take you out , so just tell him that you want to do sth new with him and see what plans he might have?! if he is really short on money you should try to be understanding tho if you really love him.

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Mine is the same way. We never go out just the two of us. I will suggest plans but he always has an excuse, like he has no money, he's tired, has to work early, isnt feeling well.... What really bothers me is I will suggest we go for dinner one night, he will tell me he has no money, and the next day he has bought a new video game and then goes out for beer and wings with his buddies.

 

I don't let him keep me at home though. If he doesn't want to take me out I will go out with other people rather than sitting in front of the TV with him.

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About the money thing, it sometimes annoys me cause he makes way more money than he needs to pay off important stuff. And he always manages to spend his entire paycheck in a week on just random things, yet he can't take out just 10 dollars to take me to a movie or something. I told him 2 weeks ago that I really wanna see this one movie and he said he'd take me when he gets payed, he never took me. But he is currently on a 270$ vacation with his friends.

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do something romantic or fun together which doesn't require a lot of money. go skating' date=' tobogganing, to the park, to a museum, to an aquarium, explore the area where you live.[/quote']

 

Some of those things require money, lol. But yeah, he doesn't have to spend anything on me, he can be creative. I just want to feel like I'm worth more of his time and energy than just lazying around his house or joining along with him while he runs his errands. That's seriously all we do.

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About the money thing, it sometimes annoys me cause he makes way more money than he needs to pay off important stuff. And he always manages to spend his entire paycheck in a week on just random things, yet he can't take out just 10 dollars to take me to a movie or something. I told him 2 weeks ago that I really wanna see this one movie and he said he'd take me when he gets payed, he never took me. But he is currently on a 270$ vacation with his friends.

 

hmmm, that's not nice! I would be bothered by that for sure! I think you should let him know in some way, directly or indirectly!

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My boyfriend does take me out.

 

The 1st 6 months of our relationship it was SO much infact, that he nearly went broke in always taking me out and making sure I was happy.

 

But considering both of us are full time college students, and he only works X-mas break and summer, our money is limited.

 

He came back last week, and will be here for a month.

 

He said that he would take me out for a special Christmas dinner before my trip because I wont be here for X-mas, and he would also take us to 2 movies.

 

I said I would take him to one movie, and then to dinner at my resteraunt. I get 25% off!

 

He also spent alot of money on presents for me, and his family. Same for me.

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Interesting question.

I had a bf in the past who never ever took me out. Ok 2.

But one which really jumps to mind. He would sometimes make plans and it'd never go thru. The relationship got boring and I wanted out.

 

With my current bf, he always takes me out when he can afford it. Usually it's twice a month, sometimes more/less. Lots of times he's short on cash and we just hang out at home, or I find other ways we can do stuff which is still fun/amusing. (Give me some Taco bell for the night and I'm happy Lol.)

I did however express to my bf (or maybe he just picked up on it before that) that I really do love going out to eat and specially getting dressed up. Once a month is perfectly ok for me. And it doesn't need to be expensive.

 

If your bf doesn't plan stuff, maybe you should and he'll get the hint/routine?

 

After I got more comfy with my bf, and we'd been dating a while, I also began planning things to do. (He does too though and he's also low on cash alot of time). We take turns paying- in no particular order, just whenever one of us can afford it.

Some ideas: the movies, just to grab something to eat, beach in the daytime or night time, bowling, try something new, ice cream, renting a movie, getting a drink/snacks at a new joint/bar, etc.

In fact I find it alot of fun planning new things to do with him.

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About the money thing, it sometimes annoys me cause he makes way more money than he needs to pay off important stuff. And he always manages to spend his entire paycheck in a week on just random things, yet he can't take out just 10 dollars to take me to a movie or something. I told him 2 weeks ago that I really wanna see this one movie and he said he'd take me when he gets payed, he never took me. But he is currently on a 270$ vacation with his friends.

 

O.. k.. I just read this lol. Serves me right for not reading the whole thread first.

Your bf doesn't seem low on cash. Just cheap or like he has other priorities. Not nice!

 

You can either hint to him, or plan dates for him to take you on. Otherwise tell him directly that staying in every weekend/week/day can get boring and you want to maybe try getting out once in a while.

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One of the things that I think you really have to be careful about is giving a boyfriend the impression that you think you have some sort of right to expect him to spend his money on you - even if he does earn more than you. For every time a girlfriend calls a boyfriend cheap she can give the impression of only being with him for financial reasons.

 

People have a right to spend their money as they please and when a woman complains that he is spending the money he earns on things for himself rather than on things for her it can show her in a really bad light.

 

So I believe it is important that women (and men) give balance to their relationship by putting in as much as they receive - that doesn't mean the same amount of money if money is tight or one earns a lot more than another. But it does mean equal effort and resisting the temptation to view his money as something to be be disposed of according to your requirements and to complain because not enough of it is being spent on you.

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It's really not about the money for me, I would be fine with him doing something that cost nothing. I just want to do more than just sit around his house or run errands with him. The reason I brought up the money thing is cause he always uses it as an excuse. When I say I want to go see a movie he says "i have no money" or when i say let's go out for dinner he says "i have no money". So I end up taking him out for dinner anyway and paying for him just cause I really just want to spend time with him doing something rather than sitting at home. I'm not complaining about spending money on him but it's just that I question his excuse about not having enough money when he's currently on a really expensive trip with his friends.

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It's really not about the money for me, I would be fine with him doing something that cost nothing. I just want to do more than just sit around his house or run errands with him. The reason I brought up the money thing is cause he always uses it as an excuse. When I say I want to go see a movie he says "i have no money" or when i say let's go out for dinner he says "i have no money". So I end up taking him out for dinner anyway and paying for him just cause I really just want to spend time with him doing something rather than sitting at home. I'm not complaining about spending money on him but it's just that I question his excuse about not having enough money when he's currently on a really expensive trip with his friends.

Well, he doesn't have money because he decided to spend it on a vacation. Which is his right - it's his money.

 

I revert to my previous advice - tell him that you want to get out more often and suggest taking turns planning what to do. If you say it in a way that isn't aggressive or a reproach he may go for it.

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oh and, another thing that just annoyed me the other day. I asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner and he said he can't afford it. So I offered to pay. So we went out for dinner and then afterwards we went to the mall and he ended up buying a new expensive phone when he didnt even need one! I didnt say anything but I felt kind of 'ripped off'.

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oh and, another thing that just annoyed me the other day. I asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner and he said he can't afford it. So I offered to pay. So we went out for dinner and then afterwards we went to the mall and he ended up buying a new expensive phone when he didnt even need one! I didnt say anything but I felt kind of 'ripped off'.

 

WOW! I would not put up with that, seriously, if he doesn't want to spend money on eating out, he should not accept you paying for it! can I ask how old is he?

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oh and, another thing that just annoyed me the other day. I asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner and he said he can't afford it. So I offered to pay. So we went out for dinner and then afterwards we went to the mall and he ended up buying a new expensive phone when he didnt even need one! I didnt say anything but I felt kind of 'ripped off'.
But you offered to pay.

 

Look - I really think you have to stop the mindset of you deciding what he needs and doesn't need and what he can and can't afford. It really isn't your business.

 

When he said he couldn't afford to go out to dinner then you could just have accepted that and suggested something else that didn't mean spending money. But you wanted to go out to eat and made the decision to invite him and pay for it. That was your choice - he didn't ask you to do that. So you weren't ripped off - it was your decision based on what you wanted.

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Well, he doesn't have money because he decided to spend it on a vacation. Which is his right - it's his money.

 

I revert to my previous advice - tell him that you want to get out more often and suggest taking turns planning what to do. If you say it in a way that isn't aggressive or a reproach he may go for it.

 

I repeat it again, he SHOULD NOT accept her spending money on him when he has the money but want to spend it for his own interests.

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