Broke Up Not Because He Has Cancer...But He's Married!

Chibby33 · 11-27-2008, 01:41 PM

I've been in a relationship with a married man for 14 months. While my father was sick, I haven't been in contact with him nor have I seen him around especially when my father passed away. There's definitely love between us but I just can't breathe with his daily complaints of fighting, yelling, arguing with his wife, and being miserable.

Few weeks ago, he said he couldn't call or text me from his Blackberry for a while because there's so much tension at his home and his wife started to ask if he has someone else. So he said he can only call me from his work.

So I've been doing a lot of thinking and faced the fact that he'll never make me happy on a daily basis. I'm tired of the hiding and the limited communication and began planning my break up speech. Unfortunately it happened 2 days after he told he he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. I still offered my support and friendship but notified him that it's time for me to look for someone who can give me back what I deserve in a relationship. His response? "Your friend must be pretty special to make you leave me when you know I have cancer and the holidays are coming. Wow talking about kicking a man when he is down." How do I respond to that?? Was I being unreasonable?

Seems his response was all about himself. How dare he! First of all, I don't have another "friend". Secondly, I am not responsible for his misery!

Right now I am so angry at him. I deleted his number from my cell phone. He hasn't called yet because he's with his family but I know he will send me a text or call me when he gets back to work and try to win me back.

Forumers, back me up on this! What do I tell him because I've said everything I can and he doesn't get it!

waveseer · 11-27-2008, 01:43 PM

You owe him as much as he gives you, nothing.

agent · 11-27-2008, 01:47 PM

What a manipulative w@*^%er.

You deserve much better. Cancer or not, tell him where to go.

**annie24** · 11-27-2008, 01:49 PM

he has a wife to let him deal with the cancer!

why did you get into a relationship with a married man? you need to cut that off, ASAP! if he is that unhappy with his wife, he needs to leave her. and if he doesn't want to do that, then he needs to get into therapy and leave you alone.

you deserve a full relationship, with a man who can love you fully and give you love.

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-27-2008, 03:00 PM

Wow...now wouldn't that be karma coming right back at him if his wife now finally decides to dump his cheating a**. This guy is selfish to the bone. You don't owe him anything.

BeStrongBeHappy · 11-27-2008, 03:05 PM

Good people get cancer, and bad people get cancer. Cancer is irrelevant to the issue at hand, that he's a married man who lies to and cheats on his wife, and doesn't offer you much at all. And for all you know, he's lying about the cancer because he senses you pulling away and was hoping to guilt you into continuing to see him.

If he's genuinenly ill, then he needs to focus on getting well, not swiving some other woman besides his wife. Please recognize that you do deserve more, and it was the right thing to break it off, and keep it broken off. If he's ill, he can rely on his wife to take care of him.

**annie24** · 11-27-2008, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeStrongBeHappy

Good people get cancer, and bad people get cancer. Cancer is irrelevant to the issue at hand, that he's a married man who lies to and cheats on his wife, and doesn't offer you much at all. And for all you know, he's lying about the cancer because he senses you pulling away and was hoping to guilt you into continuing to see him.

If he's genuinenly ill, then he needs to focus on getting well, not swiving some other woman besides his wife. Please recognize that you do deserve more, and it was the right thing to break it off, and keep it broken off. If he's ill, he can rely on his wife to take care of him.

that's a good point. did you actually see the x-rays????

i know some people who fake illnesses to get attention.

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-27-2008, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annie24

that's a good point. did you actually see the x-rays????

i know some people who fake illnesses to get attention.

faking cancer...wow..that would be pretty low.

**annie24** · 11-27-2008, 03:16 PM

hey - a man who would lie to his wife and kids for 14 months???? yeah, i wouldn't put it past him!

11-27-2008, 01:41 PM	#1
Chibby33 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 41 Posts: 157	Broke Up Not Because He Has Cancer...But He's Married! I've been in a relationship with a married man for 14 months. While my father was sick, I haven't been in contact with him nor have I seen him around especially when my father passed away. There's definitely love between us but I just can't breathe with his daily complaints of fighting, yelling, arguing with his wife, and being miserable. Few weeks ago, he said he couldn't call or text me from his Blackberry for a while because there's so much tension at his home and his wife started to ask if he has someone else. So he said he can only call me from his work. So I've been doing a lot of thinking and faced the fact that he'll never make me happy on a daily basis. I'm tired of the hiding and the limited communication and began planning my break up speech. Unfortunately it happened 2 days after he told he he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. I still offered my support and friendship but notified him that it's time for me to look for someone who can give me back what I deserve in a relationship. His response? "Your friend must be pretty special to make you leave me when you know I have cancer and the holidays are coming. Wow talking about kicking a man when he is down." How do I respond to that?? Was I being unreasonable? Seems his response was all about himself. How dare he! First of all, I don't have another "friend". Secondly, I am not responsible for his misery! Right now I am so angry at him. I deleted his number from my cell phone. He hasn't called yet because he's with his family but I know he will send me a text or call me when he gets back to work and try to win me back. Forumers, back me up on this! What do I tell him because I've said everything I can and he doesn't get it!

11-27-2008, 01:43 PM	#2
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,062	You owe him as much as he gives you, nothing. __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

11-27-2008, 01:47 PM	#3
agent Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 3,893	What a manipulative w@*^%er. You deserve much better. Cancer or not, tell him where to go. __________________ "You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too." - Anais Nin "Come now, don't make such a funeral face. It isn't dying that's sad; it's living when you're not happy." -Octave Mirbeau "Don't be sad, don't be angry, if life deceives you! Submit to your grief; your time for joy will come, believe me." -Aleksandr Pushkin

11-27-2008, 01:49 PM	#4
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	he has a wife to let him deal with the cancer! why did you get into a relationship with a married man? you need to cut that off, ASAP! if he is that unhappy with his wife, he needs to leave her. and if he doesn't want to do that, then he needs to get into therapy and leave you alone. you deserve a full relationship, with a man who can love you fully and give you love.

11-27-2008, 03:00 PM	#5
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,630	Wow...now wouldn't that be karma coming right back at him if his wife now finally decides to dump his cheating a**. This guy is selfish to the bone. You don't owe him anything.

11-27-2008, 03:05 PM	#6
BeStrongBeHappy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 7,413	Good people get cancer, and bad people get cancer. Cancer is irrelevant to the issue at hand, that he's a married man who lies to and cheats on his wife, and doesn't offer you much at all. And for all you know, he's lying about the cancer because he senses you pulling away and was hoping to guilt you into continuing to see him. If he's genuinenly ill, then he needs to focus on getting well, not swiving some other woman besides his wife. Please recognize that you do deserve more, and it was the right thing to break it off, and keep it broken off. If he's ill, he can rely on his wife to take care of him.

11-27-2008, 03:16 PM	#9
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	hey - a man who would lie to his wife and kids for 14 months???? yeah, i wouldn't put it past him!