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Thread: Rules of thumb for the time to get over a breakup

  1. #1
    Bronze Member HereIGoAgain's Avatar
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    Rules of thumb for the time to get over a breakup

    Just wondering about these rules of thumb that say for a relationship of a number of months or years it will take some fraction of that time to get over it. For example, the two common ones I've seen are it will take a week for every month of the relationship or a month for every year. The other is that it takes half the amount of time the relationship lasted (I hope not as that means I've got another 18 months of this hell).

    How does anyone know how long it will take, is it based on some statistical fact? Or is it just made up?
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow, what a ride!"

  2. #2
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    Someone also told me the "half the time the relationship lasted" thing - which gives me probably just under two years. No way jose. It's not a month for every year - else I'd be ok now. Maybe let's err on the side of hopefulness and go for week per month - that's 48 weeks. So just under a year. Which is probably in all reality going to be realistic for me. Unless George Clooney calls - then I'm sure I'll be over the whole thing in a FLASH. x

    But in all honesty - who makes up these statistics - they must just average everything down and then come up with figures - which probably comes back to the old saying that it'll be different for everyone - which I guess is more likely.

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    Generally, everybody is different. Healing happens and takes time. There is not statistics about how long it actually takes. Some people can take months or years.

    Dr. Drew Pinsky of love line says 6 months of strict NC.

    While, other people that I know in real life, some said days. Some said months, some said years. I remember my ex's cousin took 10 years to finally heal from his high school sweet heart.

    I don't think there is any rules. Just put the focus on you and try to work through it. Try not to give yourself a time limit, or you start to bring more focus on the days. Try to lose count and lose yourself in the moment.
    It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator SapphireNoir10's Avatar
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    I think everyone different. Theres no rule for things like it. It took me probably three months to get over my ex but it had been over for a long time anyway.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
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    From reading what people say on here it seems like the amount of time it takes has more to do with the intensity and depth of the person's feelings than the duration of the relationship.
    Look for the good in yourself and others, it will change your life.

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