I hit her.

Regreats · 11-20-2008, 03:14 AM

OK, I know this is a messed up post.

Last night my girlfriend of 2 years and I were each doing our own thing. I needed her help with what I was doing so I asked her to come over and help me. With a little nagging she did. While she was, she wasn't really paying attention or even really trying to help me. She basically was more focused on what she was previously doing. So I just told her to go back to it. But I was slightly pissed off that she blew off my thing, so then I told her she couldn't use my computer to do her thing. And kept telling her to get off, and she kept not. So finally I went and try to reset the computer. I thought I had so then I went back over to my thing. I saw that I had failed, so I went over there, unplugged the computer. She basically sat there like as soon as I left she was going to plug it back in and boot it up, so I told her she couldn't use it. Eventually I started to roll the chair she was on away from the computer. She kind of punched my hand to try to get it off, and she did it kind of hard like she meant business. So I did it back to her. And then I think she pushed me, and then I pushed her back. She got up and pushed me, and I kind of awkwardly fell on the bed. So I got up and pushed her back as hard as I could. Then I think she went to try to push me as hard as she could, but our arms kind of got tangled up, and we started a little wrestling. Both of us were very angry at this time, and I lost it. It honestly didn't even feel like it was me - it was like I was going through a movie with someone else controlling me. She got pushed up against this dresser type thing we got and I punched her in the face one. Then she started to freak out, crying......and as soon as I saw this, I knew what had happened.

A few things. . .

1. I have never done this before. I am honestly still in shock that it happened. I can't believe it. I really can't.

2. In the past she has been a little violent towards me. When she gets mad, in the past she has thrown stuff at me hard, stomped on my foot, hit me in the torso hard, slapped me in the back of the head. And I had never done anything back. When she threw stuff at me, acouple of times I almost threw it back at her, but I stopped myself. She has never done anything like hit me in the face.

3. About a week ago or so I stopped taking my medication, lexapro cold turkey. In the past when I have done this, it has always made me agitated and stuff, but never lead to me being violent.

Right now she is sleeping, and I honestly don't know what to do. Is there any way our relationship can survive this. I know you are all going to tell me to seek help, but I can't see this happening again. Then again I couldn't see it happening a first time.

No mark was left. I don't know how hard it was, because I honestly felt 'outside of myself', but no mark was left and she didn't fall down or anything. I want to do whats best by her. What am I supposed to do with this?

Can she ever look at me again the same way?

Admitting this is hard and I know you are all going to think I'm horrible. As confused and hurt as she is by this, I am as well. I can't sleep, I cried, I'd do just about anything to make it never have happened.

So help I guess. We've been together 2 years, and want to marry.

CmplxDame08 · 11-20-2008, 03:17 AM

You all need to get couseling because violence should never be apart of a relationship and it will only get worse. Punching a woman in the face and having her be violent towards you are not good and they will only lead to either one or both of you being seriously hurt or worse. I understand acting out in anger but this was severe and you could have seriously hurt her. Seek some professional help and speak with your psychiatrist about the side effects of your medication and make sure you take what is prescribed.

iLoveMyBabyCairo · 11-20-2008, 03:19 AM

This does NOT sound like a healthy relationship at all... you're BOTH physically abusive towards one another... that's a really bad sign... I think it's time you re-evaluate the relationship. There is no excuse for hitting/pushing/stomping on the foot of someone you love.

I wouldn't be able to look at you the same way if I were your girlfriend...

Why did you stop taking lexapro cold-turkey? It's very unhealthy to just up and quit taking an anti-depressant.

Rose21 · 11-20-2008, 03:22 AM

Thats messed up.

You should of NEVER hit her! I don't care what the circumstance was.

And that was a really poor move on your part to stop Lexapro.

I'm on it, and I need it. I can't imagine how I would be if I stopped for a day or two! You NEVER quit a medicine like that cold turkey with out weaning yourself off or talking to the doctor. i'm only on 10 mg, but I would never stop. and if you are any higher, you def have to wean down.

I think stopping your medicine was a huge contributer. Don't not take it!

And yes, I think counseling is a good idea.

doyathink · 11-20-2008, 03:25 AM

sounds to me like the two of you are toxic together. She's no better. Neither of you seem very mature to be honest. Anger that turns to rage can be VERY damaging.

I don't know what to tell you to do other then get back on your meds, and the two of you need to grow up, and handle these situations like adults. Love each other with your hearts, and put this anger to bed already.

I wish you both the best of luck. Find some peace.

doyathink · 11-20-2008, 03:27 AM

She has no right to put a finger on him either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose21

Thats messed up.

You should of NEVER hit her! I don't care what the circumstance was.

And that was a really poor move on your part to stop Lexapro.

I'm on it, and I need it. I can't imagine how I would be if I stopped for a day or two! You NEVER quit a medicine like that cold turkey with out weaning yourself off or talking to the doctor. i'm only on 10 mg, but I would never stop. and if you are any higher, you def have to wean down.

I think stopping your medicine was a huge contributer. Don't not take it!

And yes, I think counseling is a good idea.

Rose21 · 11-20-2008, 03:38 AM

Well thats true.

But hitting is the extreme.

Regreats · 11-20-2008, 03:39 AM

I know her past violence towards me is wrong.

But when I hit her in the face I kind of crossed a line that I don't know if you can come back from. I'm hoping I can. My whole life I looked at people who hit women as the scum of the earth, and now it appears as if I am one of those guys.

Does the fact that it was mutual combat take away from the terminal nature of the offense?

doyathink · 11-20-2008, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Regreats

I know her past violence towards me is wrong.

But when I hit her in the face I kind of crossed a line that I don't know if you can come back from. I'm hoping I can. My whole life I looked at people who hit women as the scum of the earth, and now it appears as if I am one of those guys.

Does the fact that it was mutual combat take away from the terminal nature of the offense?

Listen man, what you did was wrong, you already know that...so I'm not going to keep telling you it is. what she did was wrong. You can't change what happened tonight...you can't go back in time here.

What you can do is fix whatever made you do this in the first place. Get back on your meds. Talk to her. But do it tomorrow when the two of you have had a chance to calm down.

You're not a bad person, nor is she. You both let anger turn to rage. You both have problems.

What do YOU think you two need to do to fix this?

Nurseman · 11-20-2008, 03:44 AM

I'm ready to believe that this is just a situation that escalated and got out of hand. That might not have happened if you had taken your medication as you should have. Do you think the Dr prescribed it for laughs?

If you two can forgive each other, I think we should all overlook this as an isolated incident. But if it happens again.....you will deserve anything the Judge decides to give you.

And take your medicine! I think you can see why.

11-20-2008, 03:14 AM	#1
Regreats Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4	I hit her. OK, I know this is a messed up post. Last night my girlfriend of 2 years and I were each doing our own thing. I needed her help with what I was doing so I asked her to come over and help me. With a little nagging she did. While she was, she wasn't really paying attention or even really trying to help me. She basically was more focused on what she was previously doing. So I just told her to go back to it. But I was slightly pissed off that she blew off my thing, so then I told her she couldn't use my computer to do her thing. And kept telling her to get off, and she kept not. So finally I went and try to reset the computer. I thought I had so then I went back over to my thing. I saw that I had failed, so I went over there, unplugged the computer. She basically sat there like as soon as I left she was going to plug it back in and boot it up, so I told her she couldn't use it. Eventually I started to roll the chair she was on away from the computer. She kind of punched my hand to try to get it off, and she did it kind of hard like she meant business. So I did it back to her. And then I think she pushed me, and then I pushed her back. She got up and pushed me, and I kind of awkwardly fell on the bed. So I got up and pushed her back as hard as I could. Then I think she went to try to push me as hard as she could, but our arms kind of got tangled up, and we started a little wrestling. Both of us were very angry at this time, and I lost it. It honestly didn't even feel like it was me - it was like I was going through a movie with someone else controlling me. She got pushed up against this dresser type thing we got and I punched her in the face one. Then she started to freak out, crying......and as soon as I saw this, I knew what had happened. A few things. . . 1. I have never done this before. I am honestly still in shock that it happened. I can't believe it. I really can't. 2. In the past she has been a little violent towards me. When she gets mad, in the past she has thrown stuff at me hard, stomped on my foot, hit me in the torso hard, slapped me in the back of the head. And I had never done anything back. When she threw stuff at me, acouple of times I almost threw it back at her, but I stopped myself. She has never done anything like hit me in the face. 3. About a week ago or so I stopped taking my medication, lexapro cold turkey. In the past when I have done this, it has always made me agitated and stuff, but never lead to me being violent. Right now she is sleeping, and I honestly don't know what to do. Is there any way our relationship can survive this. I know you are all going to tell me to seek help, but I can't see this happening again. Then again I couldn't see it happening a first time. No mark was left. I don't know how hard it was, because I honestly felt 'outside of myself', but no mark was left and she didn't fall down or anything. I want to do whats best by her. What am I supposed to do with this? Can she ever look at me again the same way? Admitting this is hard and I know you are all going to think I'm horrible. As confused and hurt as she is by this, I am as well. I can't sleep, I cried, I'd do just about anything to make it never have happened. So help I guess. We've been together 2 years, and want to marry.

11-20-2008, 03:19 AM	#3
iLoveMyBabyCairo Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Liverpool, where the sun never shines. Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 6,025	This does NOT sound like a healthy relationship at all... you're BOTH physically abusive towards one another... that's a really bad sign... I think it's time you re-evaluate the relationship. There is no excuse for hitting/pushing/stomping on the foot of someone you love. I wouldn't be able to look at you the same way if I were your girlfriend... Why did you stop taking lexapro cold-turkey? It's very unhealthy to just up and quit taking an anti-depressant. __________________ JenSocietyOfSloreMaking!© --Lionel Hutz No that's not how you express love! You express your love by calling her a dirty little ***** and slapping her in the face with your penis! --hersmudders...always classy.

11-20-2008, 03:25 AM	#5
doyathink Online Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Venus Gender: Female Posts: 5,308	sounds to me like the two of you are toxic together. She's no better. Neither of you seem very mature to be honest. Anger that turns to rage can be VERY damaging. I don't know what to tell you to do other then get back on your meds, and the two of you need to grow up, and handle these situations like adults. Love each other with your hearts, and put this anger to bed already. I wish you both the best of luck. Find some peace. __________________ When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over.

11-20-2008, 03:17 AM	#2
CmplxDame08 Online Gold Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Gender: None Specified Posts: 742	You all need to get couseling because violence should never be apart of a relationship and it will only get worse. Punching a woman in the face and having her be violent towards you are not good and they will only lead to either one or both of you being seriously hurt or worse. I understand acting out in anger but this was severe and you could have seriously hurt her. Seek some professional help and speak with your psychiatrist about the side effects of your medication and make sure you take what is prescribed.

11-20-2008, 03:22 AM	#4
Rose21 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Texas Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 2,587	Thats messed up. You should of NEVER hit her! I don't care what the circumstance was. And that was a really poor move on your part to stop Lexapro. I'm on it, and I need it. I can't imagine how I would be if I stopped for a day or two! You NEVER quit a medicine like that cold turkey with out weaning yourself off or talking to the doctor. i'm only on 10 mg, but I would never stop. and if you are any higher, you def have to wean down. I think stopping your medicine was a huge contributer. Don't not take it! And yes, I think counseling is a good idea.

11-20-2008, 03:38 AM	#7
Rose21 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Texas Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 2,587	Well thats true. But hitting is the extreme.

11-20-2008, 03:39 AM	#8
Regreats Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4	I know her past violence towards me is wrong. But when I hit her in the face I kind of crossed a line that I don't know if you can come back from. I'm hoping I can. My whole life I looked at people who hit women as the scum of the earth, and now it appears as if I am one of those guys. Does the fact that it was mutual combat take away from the terminal nature of the offense?

11-20-2008, 03:44 AM	#10
Nurseman Offline Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Virginia Gender: Male Age: 49 Posts: 321	I'm ready to believe that this is just a situation that escalated and got out of hand. That might not have happened if you had taken your medication as you should have. Do you think the Dr prescribed it for laughs? If you two can forgive each other, I think we should all overlook this as an isolated incident. But if it happens again.....you will deserve anything the Judge decides to give you. And take your medicine! I think you can see why.