If you suspected your ex to be a cybersex addict, would you try to help them?

kayamoyan · 11-19-2008, 05:13 PM

I recently broke up with my ex because he couldn't stop contacting women online. I was reading through the forums here and came upon a thread about cyber sex addiction. I did not know that this is actually a real affliction. I now suspect my ex might be suffering from this. My last conversation with him, he said he wanted to stop contacting girls online because it was not making him happy. I know he has not actually hooked up with anybody in real life yet but he is looking to do it now. I do not want him to start because it might get into a full blown addiction that he cannot get himself out of.

My question is should I try to help him and how? Or should I just let him be and learn on his own? I am still hurting from his lies and emotional cheating but I do still care about him very much and I want to do what's right for him.

I think he truly does want to stop, he told me he needs some kind of "salvation". Doesn't that sounds like a plea for help? Or am I just still stuck on him and just going to hurt myself?

waveseer · 11-19-2008, 05:16 PM

What are you thinking of doing to try and help him?

kayamoyan · 11-19-2008, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ready2heal

What are you thinking of doing to try and help him?

I still care about him, should I not do anything?

greywolf · 11-19-2008, 05:20 PM

You can support him, but you can't be his 'savior'. He needs professional help.

waveseer · 11-19-2008, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kayamoyan

I still care about him, should I not do anything?

Offer to help him find professional help and encourage him to go to the appointments is about all you can do.

kayamoyan · 11-19-2008, 05:24 PM

was thinking I could at least tell him he might have a cyber sex addiction, that it does exist and that there are people who do suffer from it and can get help for it. I could do that at the very least.

any better ideas? or should I just let him be?

waveseer · 11-19-2008, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kayamoyan

was thinking I could at least tell him he might have a cyber sex addiction, that it does exist and that there are people who do suffer from it and can get help for it. I could do that at the very least.

any better ideas? or should I just let him be?

If you care about him it would be okay to mention it. If you don't tell him, who will?

HeartGoesOn · 11-19-2008, 05:26 PM

A person has to make up his own mind to help himself.

You can lead the horse to water, but you can't make him drink it.

kayamoyan · 11-19-2008, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ready2heal

Offer to help him find professional help and encourage him to go to the appointments is about all you can do.

I don't think it is a full blown addiction right now, I doubt he will want to see a professional for help. I am just worried that left to himself (he is away from home for two years for work, no friends, no family in the area), he will get deep into it.

greywolf · 11-19-2008, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kayamoyan

I don't think it is a full blown addiction right now, I doubt he will want to see a professional for help. I am just worried that left to himself (he is away from home for two years for work, no friends, no family in the area), he will get deep into it.

You can't make him better. He has to want to get better on his own.

11-19-2008, 05:13 PM	#1
kayamoyan Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 74	If you suspected your ex to be a cybersex addict, would you try to help them? I recently broke up with my ex because he couldn't stop contacting women online. I was reading through the forums here and came upon a thread about cyber sex addiction. I did not know that this is actually a real affliction. I now suspect my ex might be suffering from this. My last conversation with him, he said he wanted to stop contacting girls online because it was not making him happy. I know he has not actually hooked up with anybody in real life yet but he is looking to do it now. I do not want him to start because it might get into a full blown addiction that he cannot get himself out of. My question is should I try to help him and how? Or should I just let him be and learn on his own? I am still hurting from his lies and emotional cheating but I do still care about him very much and I want to do what's right for him. I think he truly does want to stop, he told me he needs some kind of "salvation". Doesn't that sounds like a plea for help? Or am I just still stuck on him and just going to hurt myself?

11-19-2008, 05:16 PM	#2
waveseer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: In a world full of possibilities. Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 11,065	What are you thinking of doing to try and help him? __________________ Whoever dies with the most "happy" wins! ~ shuttlefish profile pic explained: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl6yXBnLYYM and more: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKnw9TM_AAI and if you weren't convinced: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3fPtMuBtMs and if you're not sick yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTvUT_Hx4Dc to accept your partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgP57lJvWRw

11-19-2008, 05:20 PM	#4
greywolf Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Good question... Gender: Female Posts: 5,182	You can support him, but you can't be his 'savior'. He needs professional help. __________________ "I'll never understand this until I get my penis." ~hersmudders "Give me life. Give me pain. Give me myself again." ~Tori Amos Pacquiao is gonna beat Cotto's ass!! w00t!

11-19-2008, 05:26 PM	#8
HeartGoesOn Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Massachusetts Gender: Female Posts: 2,658	A person has to make up his own mind to help himself. You can lead the horse to water, but you can't make him drink it. __________________ ~ Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance... I hope you dance. ~

11-19-2008, 05:24 PM	#6
kayamoyan Offline Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 74	was thinking I could at least tell him he might have a cyber sex addiction, that it does exist and that there are people who do suffer from it and can get help for it. I could do that at the very least. any better ideas? or should I just let him be?