I slap my fiance, hard though.....

innocentbabe · 11-18-2008, 01:13 PM

Right now I feel like the most horrible person on earth. We were discussing a topic on abortion which turn into an argument and I just lost it, slapping him hard enought to leave the right side of his face red. He was shock and just sat down quietly on the couch.

Eventually the redness went away and he forgot about it, even told me he deserved it for being a jerk but I still feel aweful.

I have NEVER EVER hit anyone in my life, not even when I would get bullied at school.

Any way I can forgive myself.

Scorpion Fury · 11-18-2008, 01:17 PM

Sincerely apologize, worship the ground he walks on for a while, and NEVER do it again. If you ever do it again or feel you have anger issues you can't control, you must see a doctor/counselor. Anger issues and abuse will ruin your life and relationships.

agent · 11-18-2008, 01:17 PM

Can I ask what he said that hit the nerve?

DN · 11-18-2008, 01:19 PM

Well, he certainly didn't deserve it and you should not accept that at all - and you should make it clear to him that he didn't because if both of you start to think that way it could happen again.

Crazyaboutdogs · 11-18-2008, 01:20 PM

Slapping is definitely not good. What made you that upset that you felt like slapping him? It is gracious of him to put it aside by taking responsibility, but please don't think that means he is giving you carte blanche to do it again next time he says something that gets you riled up. You need to be able to control your anger so that you don't resort to an act of aggression.

innocentbabe · 11-18-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agent

Can I ask what he said that hit the nerve?

We were discussing about our points on abortion. I was in total disagreement with it while he was in favor of it. After long talks about it we were started to argue (though he never really raise his voice but I sure did).

Then came the topic of what if you get rape then or have a retarted child. I answered that I would still raise him/her, to which he was like ''They shouldn't be in this world'' along with more sarcastic comments to which got me angry. He knows I have a cousin with down syndrome. That's when I slapped him and say ''You jerk they're living beings''.

DN · 11-18-2008, 01:27 PM

Although you were angry it still was not appropriate whatever he said.

If you have apologised and he has accepted it - then move on. Just control yourself better next time you have an argument.

innocentbabe · 11-18-2008, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DN

Well, he certainly didn't deserve it and you should not accept that at all - and you should make it clear to him that he didn't because if both of you start to think that way it could happen again.

No he didn't, I could have walk away and not resort to hitting him. I have apologize to him as well but he says not to worry about it that he deserved it. Today I will clear him on that one too (from what I know no one deserves getting hit).

I never thought I would be capable of hitting anyone, esp. someone I love.

DN · 11-18-2008, 01:32 PM

It was definitely a wrong thing that you did. But don't over-react about it. You know it was wrong and feel badly so that means it is unlikely that you are a violent person at heart. But if you do it again then you should get some counselling.

**Hope75** · 11-18-2008, 01:36 PM

DN is right, you are remorseful and it was a one time thing so I don't think you will let it happen again, but next time you get in a heated argument it's best to tell him you need some time to cool down and walk away.

Have you ever been hit in your lifetime?

11-18-2008, 01:13 PM	#1
innocentbabe Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 23	I slap my fiance, hard though..... Right now I feel like the most horrible person on earth. We were discussing a topic on abortion which turn into an argument and I just lost it, slapping him hard enought to leave the right side of his face red. He was shock and just sat down quietly on the couch. Eventually the redness went away and he forgot about it, even told me he deserved it for being a jerk but I still feel aweful. I have NEVER EVER hit anyone in my life, not even when I would get bullied at school. Any way I can forgive myself.

11-18-2008, 01:17 PM	#2
Scorpion Fury Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: The states Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 4,525	Sincerely apologize, worship the ground he walks on for a while, and NEVER do it again. If you ever do it again or feel you have anger issues you can't control, you must see a doctor/counselor. Anger issues and abuse will ruin your life and relationships. __________________ Your attitude determines your altitude.

11-18-2008, 01:17 PM	#3
agent Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 3,891	Can I ask what he said that hit the nerve? __________________ "You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too." - Anais Nin "Come now, don't make such a funeral face. It isn't dying that's sad; it's living when you're not happy." -Octave Mirbeau "Don't be sad, don't be angry, if life deceives you! Submit to your grief; your time for joy will come, believe me." -Aleksandr Pushkin

11-18-2008, 01:19 PM	#4
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,439	Well, he certainly didn't deserve it and you should not accept that at all - and you should make it clear to him that he didn't because if both of you start to think that way it could happen again. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

11-18-2008, 01:27 PM	#7
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,439	Although you were angry it still was not appropriate whatever he said. If you have apologised and he has accepted it - then move on. Just control yourself better next time you have an argument. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

11-18-2008, 01:20 PM	#5
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,626	Slapping is definitely not good. What made you that upset that you felt like slapping him? It is gracious of him to put it aside by taking responsibility, but please don't think that means he is giving you carte blanche to do it again next time he says something that gets you riled up. You need to be able to control your anger so that you don't resort to an act of aggression.

11-18-2008, 01:32 PM	#9
DN Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 23,439	It was definitely a wrong thing that you did. But don't over-react about it. You know it was wrong and feel badly so that means it is unlikely that you are a violent person at heart. But if you do it again then you should get some counselling. __________________ Immaturity is not defined by him not doing what you want him to do. Hartman's Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation: "any article or statement about correct grammar, punctuation, or spelling is bound to contain at least one eror".

11-18-2008, 01:36 PM	#10
Hope75 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: kitteh ville Gender: Female Age: 33 Posts: 12,503	DN is right, you are remorseful and it was a one time thing so I don't think you will let it happen again, but next time you get in a heated argument it's best to tell him you need some time to cool down and walk away. Have you ever been hit in your lifetime? __________________ Muffin cats need love too. Please refer to the forum rules before posting: http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php Mama to a beautiful baby girl born 6-25-09. :)