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  1. #1
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    I don't know how to have sex on top.

    This is something that has become really upsetting for me. I am female and I am just incapable of having sex on top. I move all out of sync, it feels wrong, it's exhausting, it hurts my legs and I just generally don't seem to have the knack of it. Please give me tips on how to at least move in sync or generally what to do. I feel bad in bed.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member astaro's Avatar
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    first of all dont feel like your bad in bad (yea i know, easier said then done).
    secondly its not just you, there are two people who need to move in sync. i don't know how long you have been with your partner, sometimes it happens over night and others it takes a while to find the right rhythm for both sides.

    try looking at it like a game rather then a chore. tell him that "tonight your ontop" and just play with it. try this and that, see what you enjoy. boss him around into not moving if you want to experiment and his moving is confusing you (guys love being bossed around even though most wont admit it ) can try being with your face to him or with your back to him, ask him to raise his pelvic as it creates more clitoral stimulation when the women is on top facing the man (though its rather tiring for the man if he isn't used to it). can try it with him sitting up (a very sensual position for me anyway) if you approach it with fear you wont find what your looking for, you will just find more uncertainty. be confident about yourself and your body. make sure you talk to your partner about this. communication is key.

    you should also ask yourself if it is really important to you, some people just don't click with some positions and there is no shortage of options. sex in my opinion is all about fun, some things are more fun, others are less fun, no two people are 100% compatible and some times certain things just don't work out for both.
    Absolute truths do not exist

  3. #3
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    start slow and get him to help (use his hands to hold you up+give you a rhytmth).

  4. #4
    Bronze Member Silvery's Avatar
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    My BF gave me instruction on speed, depth and timing and he held his hands at my hips to keep me moving in sync. But god, its so tiring and my knees hurt. I see the need to go on weight lifting with my legs after my first time ontop, hahahaha. Training it to have more endurance.

  5. #5
    Member Sky_Ronin's Avatar
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    With time you'll get the hang of being on top. Perhaps some lower body excercises will increase the strength in your legs and increase your stamina. It's not the end of the world :b. I hope you'll be successful on top.

  6. #6
    Member idls's Avatar
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    just be VERY comfortable with the person and try other things, I wasn't good on top until I really fell in love with my boyfriend, and became very comfortable to look weird in different positions and stuff on top :P good luck!

  7. #7
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    What really helps me sometimes is to support myself with my arms (kind of like push up position if that makes sense). It takes away some of the pressure of your knees and gives you better control since you can use the arms for added support.

    As an added bonus, if you hate doing push-ups and want to tone up your upper body, this will do this nicely as well.
    "Everything is awesome. Fundamentally."

  8. #8
    Platinum Member PsychGirly's Avatar
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    You mentioned that your legs & knees hurt. Are you in squatting position? Cuz that can get really tiring if you haven't gotten the hang of it yet.

    Try just sitting on him, with your legs comfortably to his sides, & just lean a little forward and slowly move your body, & tell him to help you out so that you can get the hang of what you should do. There's different ways of moving your body when you're on top, but until you're not comfortable with the actual feeling of being the dominant one, you can't really experiment.
    "Happiness lies for those who cry, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives."

    "The more time we spend disapproving of others, the less time we have to improve ourselves."

  9. #9

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    Up, down up down, up down, around in a circle, around in a circle, grind: front to back, front to back.

    Does it feel wrong or not good? Cause that's 2 difference cases. Hopefully you're riding a guy you're very cormfortable with- that makes all the difference.

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