New understanding, ex is an alcoholic

LostMyBaby · 10-21-2008, 01:29 PM

My story is in one or two post here. Long story short...Girlfriend broke up with me after 3 good years...about 6 weeks ago...still do the friend thing. She seems a little colder than before....goes out every night etc...

I guess I've always know she was an alcoholic, she will even admit it herself. What I realize now, is that most of what she blamed the relationship failing on; (me being "needy" or "falling out of love") was not very likely the core of the problem.

I have since researched much about being in a relationship with an alcoholic. The creature is their only true love. You are there only as a support mechanism. As soon as the partying with me got old..(I was cutting back) then poof! we "feel out of love." Hogwash.

This would also explain the crowd she has been keeping...pretty much losers in all definition. It hurts to see the one you love make this regression, but its reality.

The good news is it's helping me realize that I did not screw things up as bad as I though. It was her way of justifying her behavior. The sad part is...she has no clue why the feels or does not feel for different people anymore.

I've read that alcoholics often relate better to addicts of different kinds, maybe finding someone worse off gives them a reason not to look down on themselves.

Regardless, having to watch your loved one do this to themselves is worse than the breakup.

pitcher · 10-21-2008, 01:39 PM

my situation is the same thing, we broke up because of all the partying she was doing and then she met a loser who partys all the time and now she drinks all the time and her world is falling apart all around her and she has no idea,

The_411 · 10-21-2008, 02:42 PM

likely her alcohol is cover for mental issues as alcoholism usually is a common symptom.

LostMyBaby · 10-21-2008, 02:53 PM

I believe she does.
The last year of our relationship, we spend so much time concentrating on my mental issue. I am bi polar, have since seeked treatment and am a whole new person.
Unfourtnally, we never focused on her problem, which I'm not sure she would agree too. But I wished we had tried.

10-21-2008, 01:29 PM	#1
LostMyBaby Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 60	New understanding, ex is an alcoholic My story is in one or two post here. Long story short...Girlfriend broke up with me after 3 good years...about 6 weeks ago...still do the friend thing. She seems a little colder than before....goes out every night etc... I guess I've always know she was an alcoholic, she will even admit it herself. What I realize now, is that most of what she blamed the relationship failing on; (me being "needy" or "falling out of love") was not very likely the core of the problem. I have since researched much about being in a relationship with an alcoholic. The creature is their only true love. You are there only as a support mechanism. As soon as the partying with me got old..(I was cutting back) then poof! we "feel out of love." Hogwash. This would also explain the crowd she has been keeping...pretty much losers in all definition. It hurts to see the one you love make this regression, but its reality. The good news is it's helping me realize that I did not screw things up as bad as I though. It was her way of justifying her behavior. The sad part is...she has no clue why the feels or does not feel for different people anymore. I've read that alcoholics often relate better to addicts of different kinds, maybe finding someone worse off gives them a reason not to look down on themselves. Regardless, having to watch your loved one do this to themselves is worse than the breakup.

10-21-2008, 01:39 PM	#2
pitcher Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 92	my situation is the same thing, we broke up because of all the partying she was doing and then she met a loser who partys all the time and now she drinks all the time and her world is falling apart all around her and she has no idea,

10-21-2008, 02:42 PM	#3
The_411 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 217	likely her alcohol is cover for mental issues as alcoholism usually is a common symptom.

10-21-2008, 02:53 PM	#4
LostMyBaby Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 60	I believe she does. The last year of our relationship, we spend so much time concentrating on my mental issue. I am bi polar, have since seeked treatment and am a whole new person. Unfourtnally, we never focused on her problem, which I'm not sure she would agree too. But I wished we had tried.