hearing about him with other girls

MairinDubz · 10-14-2008, 03:58 AM

I guess most of this post is good news. I've finally reached a point where I can honestly say I don't want him back, and have no interest in seeing or talking to him. Unfortunately he's in a class with me in college, but that's beside the point. Whenever I think about our relationship or the two of us I feel like I'm completely over it, and I could never see him again and be happy. But when I hear about him being interested in other girls or going to parties my stomach completely knots up. It makes me so anxious and jealous to think about somebody else being what I was to him. Where is this coming from? Do I really still care about him but am just in denial? Or is this normal to feel even if you're (almost) completely over them? I got so excited thinking I was finally in the home stretch until I heard about him with someone else, and now I'm questioning my own progress.

pboy · 10-14-2008, 04:06 AM

all the girls i know have been through this, and actually come to think of it, all the guys i know too.
its harder than it sounds to just get someone out of your mind. trust. im there now.
so even though you say you dont care to be with him, maybe a part of you does.
but i'd say its a common reaction/feeling that you have there. eventually, if you truly dont wish to be with him, that feeling will go away.

MairinDubz · 10-14-2008, 04:22 AM

I know that that could be a factor, that part of me might still want to be with him, but I dont feel like I can afford even acknowledging that. I've felt so good lately, meeting other guys, keeping myself busy, doing everything that he's been doing since day one of the break up, and finally feeling like the worst is over. But I had to go to a dinner with him and some mutual friends the other day, and to hear him talking about going to parties with other girls and hearing from friends that he likes somebody else gives me the worst feeling of anxiety. It's not even sadness, or longing. It bothers me because I have no idea where it's coming from.

Syntax1985 · 10-14-2008, 05:25 AM

im having the same prob as you few years down the line, although ive had a few relationships since. someone told me its not because of who they are now, its because deep down you knew what they were, and that's what you miss. thats what makes you jealous or angry to hear theyre with new people, because the person you "knew" was someone special, not who they are now. i think when i realised that ive stopped even thinking about them completely.

10-14-2008, 03:58 AM	#1
MairinDubz Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Buffalo, NY Gender: Female Posts: 62	hearing about him with other girls I guess most of this post is good news. I've finally reached a point where I can honestly say I don't want him back, and have no interest in seeing or talking to him. Unfortunately he's in a class with me in college, but that's beside the point. Whenever I think about our relationship or the two of us I feel like I'm completely over it, and I could never see him again and be happy. But when I hear about him being interested in other girls or going to parties my stomach completely knots up. It makes me so anxious and jealous to think about somebody else being what I was to him. Where is this coming from? Do I really still care about him but am just in denial? Or is this normal to feel even if you're (almost) completely over them? I got so excited thinking I was finally in the home stretch until I heard about him with someone else, and now I'm questioning my own progress.

10-14-2008, 04:06 AM	#2
pboy Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 154	all the girls i know have been through this, and actually come to think of it, all the guys i know too. its harder than it sounds to just get someone out of your mind. trust. im there now. so even though you say you dont care to be with him, maybe a part of you does. but i'd say its a common reaction/feeling that you have there. eventually, if you truly dont wish to be with him, that feeling will go away.

10-14-2008, 04:22 AM	#3
MairinDubz Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Buffalo, NY Gender: Female Posts: 62	I know that that could be a factor, that part of me might still want to be with him, but I dont feel like I can afford even acknowledging that. I've felt so good lately, meeting other guys, keeping myself busy, doing everything that he's been doing since day one of the break up, and finally feeling like the worst is over. But I had to go to a dinner with him and some mutual friends the other day, and to hear him talking about going to parties with other girls and hearing from friends that he likes somebody else gives me the worst feeling of anxiety. It's not even sadness, or longing. It bothers me because I have no idea where it's coming from.

10-14-2008, 05:25 AM	#4
Syntax1985 Offline Gold Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: United Kingdom Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 886	im having the same prob as you few years down the line, although ive had a few relationships since. someone told me its not because of who they are now, its because deep down you knew what they were, and that's what you miss. thats what makes you jealous or angry to hear theyre with new people, because the person you "knew" was someone special, not who they are now. i think when i realised that ive stopped even thinking about them completely.