Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 40
  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    usa
    Age
    30
    Posts
    582
    Gender
    Female

    if you end up alone, will you ever be truly happy?

    So, we hear a lot about having to learn to be happy on your own but do you honestly think that you could be happy if love just never happens to you?

    I know i'm feeling cynical and lonely post break-up but i'm terrified i will never find anyone in my life and love is the only thing that matters to me. Friends are hugely important but life with love is THE thing that makes it all worthwhile.

    If i end up alone I just dont think i'll ever be truly happy. Any advice?

    I feel a deep loneliness no matter how many people i am surrounded by, how good my friends are, since losing my best friend in my ex-boyfriend. (He has a new girlfriend and it was an awful split so we're unlikely to ever speak again which is killing me) and people say things like "the longer you feel sad the longer it will take to meet mr right" and i've watched friends lives take off when theyve found someone (just as mine did with him) what if that never happens to me again, will i ever shake off this awful sense of loss and that i'm missing out (because I know that I am - i remember being with him and how amazing it felt, and now the new girlfriend gets it all ;-(

    Thoughts?
    "Bitterness damages the vessel in which it's stored far more than the container to which it's poured."

    Its not about my make-up or how i try to shape up.....he loves her because she moves in her own way.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Mutley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    45
    Posts
    2,775
    Gender
    Male
    You are young....odds are in your favor for finding love again.

    No, at my age and stage in life, I don't know. I'm working on having a great life without it.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Bkoguy07's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    NC
    Age
    25
    Posts
    414
    Gender
    Male
    I doubt i'd ever be completely happy alone. Idk I wouldn't be extremely unhappy or anything, but i would love to have a companion.

  4. #4
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    857
    Gender
    Female
    You are 24 years old. With good self care and some luck you will live to be 100+. You're end will be a long time from now. Concentrate on being the person you want to be today. And you will eventually attract the right person to you.

  5.  

  6. #5
    JadedStar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    On a star far, far away...
    Posts
    16,154
    Depends on the person. My mom is in her 60s and has been alone since she was in her mid 30s. She was married to my dad, they divorced, and she had a live in relationship for a few years. They broke up.

    She said she just didnt see herself doing it again. She LOVES being alone. She is probably very atypical but she is very happy as is.

    Just one story for ya. I am sure there are many others like it.
    Last edited by JadedStar; 10-13-2008 at 03:42 PM.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member PixelPusher's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    US
    Age
    41
    Posts
    1,043
    Gender
    Male
    I think so but that's just me. It's wonderful to have someone in your life but IMO if you NEED someone to be 100% happy, you're too dependent. I was this way before my divorce and was an absolute wreck when the relationship disintegrated. But since then I learned to be happy on my own. Do I love my girlfriend... without a doubt. Does she bring me happiness? Yes. BUT... if I didn't have her in my life would I still be happy? Yes.

    I would try not to worry so much about finding someone and just concentrating on making your life as wonderful as you can.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member EQD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Age
    27
    Posts
    6,039
    Gender
    Female
    no one can ever be perfectly happy. in a relationship or not.
    the times when you feel perfectly content are fleeting, life isnt about sticking to one point on a chart, its and endless flow no matter what happens, good or bad. single or taken.
    Is growing up all the time.

  9. #8
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    usa
    Age
    30
    Posts
    582
    Gender
    Female
    pixelpusher...how did you manage to find that happiness?
    "Bitterness damages the vessel in which it's stored far more than the container to which it's poured."

    Its not about my make-up or how i try to shape up.....he loves her because she moves in her own way.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    30
    Posts
    9,492
    Gender
    Female
    I think I could, yes. There are a lot of things that give me great pleasure and bring happiness and lots of joy to my life. A relationship can do that to an extent, but I don't think that is where happiness comes from for me. A relationship, to me, is just the icing on the cake.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    50
    Posts
    25,691
    Gender
    Female
    I am happy alone...but to be honest, there is most definitely a void in my life. I want to love and be loved but that has not happened for me and it likely never will. This has been my life for the last 45 years and sadly I don't think it will change. I am not a man magnet and nor do I fall very easily for anyone. I have been burned royally in the love department to the point where I have had no benefits from loving someone, only heartache and knives in the back, stalking, using, wanting to take from me but give absolutely nothing in return. Will I ever be truly happy alone...maybe not...but I know that I will never truly be happy with someone who can't love and can ony use.
    "A word to the kind: when I sense I'm hurting someone, I am. The fact that someone would be weak enough to tolerate that from me doesn't make me less responsible for my actions, it makes me more responsible". Catfeeder

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Related Articles & Books
by Margarita Nahapetyan
Contrary to the common belief that online dating is only for the young individuals, the new research by two Bowling Green State University professors ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
How much are men willing to spend while dating highly depends on a number of women available around them, claims a new research by the University of ...
by Margarita Nahapetyan
It turns out that the real problem for unemployed men is not that they cannot pay their bills, but that they actually cannot get dates, a new survey ...
 

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Expert Advice

Online
CallChat
$4.99/minute
Newly single? Back on the dating scene after a divorce? Sexual anxiety? Children complicating things? A successful date is a fun date. I am nonjudgmental and easy to talk to.
Online
Call
$1.75/minute
25+ YEARS EXPERIENCE. That date may be your mate someday. Starting a relationship, working out problems and finding happiness and love."generously affordable"
Online
CallChat
$2.75/minute
Licensed Psychotherapist, Relationship Expert with 25 years of experience.I am empathic and understanding and I can help you gain insight and knowledge for your dating issues.
Online
CallChat
$2.75/minute
I can show how examining and changing your thoughts and actions can improve your quest for successful relationships. LGHBTQIA-supportive.
Online
Chat
$3.49/minute
Having a tough time on the dating scene? Lets figure out how to get you ready to find the love that you are looking for.