The opinions of family members are offensive to me and I don't really like it

schaser · 10-08-2008, 12:30 PM

Members of my family have always been classist and homophobic, and I must admit that even I was for a time, largely because of their influence. But as I've become older and hopefully wiser I don't dislike poorer people or gays as much, and generally see people for who they are.

Sometimes a family member might say "x is from a poor area of town, so I certainly wouldn't mix with them!" I always feel offended at such a comment. I know that anybody is entitled to any opinion they want, and it would be wrong of me to say they cannot think that way. But it makes me feel uncomfortable when they say things like this. What can I do in this situation?

Mutley · 10-08-2008, 12:36 PM

There's really not a whole lot you can do. You won't be able to change them.

Limited contact may be helpful.

Karmageddon · 10-08-2008, 12:44 PM

Well, I congratulate you on not being a social lemming. This will always be an age old problem as long as people are "different" from each other. But I find this type of mentality offensive as well, but really "but for the grace of God there go I"

I would let them know that hopefully they will be lucky enough never to have to be poor & then be judged for it.

Mutley · 10-08-2008, 12:49 PM

I can't stand the world view my family holds as well. I've found it to be futile to waste energy on it. After all they have all the answers and are right so why should they change.

I just told my uncle point blank, I don't want to hear anything political anymore. He's allowed to have his opinions and viewpoints....but he doesn't have to share them with me.

**BellaDonna** · 10-08-2008, 01:57 PM

Quote:

But it makes me feel uncomfortable when they say things like this. What can I do in this situation?

Leave the room, change the subject, don't agree, lose eye contact, ignore. If they come right out and ask you if you agree, be honest and say that you don't.

I have some family members that have apalling and ignorant beliefs, and that is usually how I handle them.

doityourself · 10-08-2008, 01:58 PM

Congradulations for stopping the rasist cycle with you!!!!

You cant change them, it prob was brought down from their own parents.

10-08-2008, 12:30 PM	#1
schaser Offline Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 261	The opinions of family members are offensive to me and I don't really like it Members of my family have always been classist and homophobic, and I must admit that even I was for a time, largely because of their influence. But as I've become older and hopefully wiser I don't dislike poorer people or gays as much, and generally see people for who they are. Sometimes a family member might say "x is from a poor area of town, so I certainly wouldn't mix with them!" I always feel offended at such a comment. I know that anybody is entitled to any opinion they want, and it would be wrong of me to say they cannot think that way. But it makes me feel uncomfortable when they say things like this. What can I do in this situation?

10-08-2008, 12:44 PM	#3
Karmageddon Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: California Gender: Female Age: 40 Posts: 1,115	Well, I congratulate you on not being a social lemming. This will always be an age old problem as long as people are "different" from each other. But I find this type of mentality offensive as well, but really "but for the grace of God there go I" I would let them know that hopefully they will be lucky enough never to have to be poor & then be judged for it. __________________ "watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love... but rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along again"

10-08-2008, 12:36 PM	#2
Mutley Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Ohio Gender: Male Age: 40 Posts: 2,829	There's really not a whole lot you can do. You won't be able to change them. Limited contact may be helpful.

10-08-2008, 12:49 PM	#4
Mutley Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Ohio Gender: Male Age: 40 Posts: 2,829	I can't stand the world view my family holds as well. I've found it to be futile to waste energy on it. After all they have all the answers and are right so why should they change. I just told my uncle point blank, I don't want to hear anything political anymore. He's allowed to have his opinions and viewpoints....but he doesn't have to share them with me.

10-08-2008, 01:58 PM	#6
doityourself Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 219	Congradulations for stopping the rasist cycle with you!!!! You cant change them, it prob was brought down from their own parents.