When your bf is miserable...

Weary · 10-06-2008, 01:22 AM

I will try my best to keep this short and sweet...and only the relevent details lol, but I may get sidetracked!

So, I met a guy online well over a year ago, but we have been in much closer contact in the last 8 months. We live quite a ways from each other, and we are meeting in 2 weeks (for the first time). We are both very excited about that prospect, and can't wait.

In the last little while he has been going through a rough patch. Problems at work mostly, but because of the problems there...he just seems to be miserable about everything. Little things happen like, hmm not being able to find something, or going to the store and they don't have what you want...and he gets really miserable about it. I understand he is going through something right now, and there is nothing he, nor I can do about it at this precise moment, but I know it is really getting to him, and I think he is getting depressed. I don't mean on the clinically depressed scale, but really really down.

I feel so incredibly helpless. I am doing my absolute best to be supportive, to try and cheer him up, to try to distract him when needed, talk to him about what is wrong if he is up to it, to try and give him a silver lining to these little things that pile on the big thing (work)..but I feel like I am doing it in vain.

It bothers me that he is upset about things, and I can't fix them...and I am bothered by the fact that I can't be there physically to do the little things like a hug. I want to make things better for him, but I honestly don't know how. I feel like everything I am doing or trying is wrong or ineffective.

Does anyone have any insight or advise..on how I can help him feel better about life in general?

mustard1234 · 10-06-2008, 01:27 AM

do not mean to scare you at all but these seem like signs of clinical depression.

i'd recommend at least a visit to a counselor/therapist asap.

even if it's just to rule out a chem. imbalance.

again, not trying to be alarmist. but a dear friend of mine waited way way too long to get treated and a lot more damage was done than necessary b/c he was in denial or just didn't get checked.

10-06-2008, 01:22 AM	#1
Weary Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 59	When your bf is miserable... I will try my best to keep this short and sweet...and only the relevent details lol, but I may get sidetracked! So, I met a guy online well over a year ago, but we have been in much closer contact in the last 8 months. We live quite a ways from each other, and we are meeting in 2 weeks (for the first time). We are both very excited about that prospect, and can't wait. In the last little while he has been going through a rough patch. Problems at work mostly, but because of the problems there...he just seems to be miserable about everything. Little things happen like, hmm not being able to find something, or going to the store and they don't have what you want...and he gets really miserable about it. I understand he is going through something right now, and there is nothing he, nor I can do about it at this precise moment, but I know it is really getting to him, and I think he is getting depressed. I don't mean on the clinically depressed scale, but really really down. I feel so incredibly helpless. I am doing my absolute best to be supportive, to try and cheer him up, to try to distract him when needed, talk to him about what is wrong if he is up to it, to try and give him a silver lining to these little things that pile on the big thing (work)..but I feel like I am doing it in vain. It bothers me that he is upset about things, and I can't fix them...and I am bothered by the fact that I can't be there physically to do the little things like a hug. I want to make things better for him, but I honestly don't know how. I feel like everything I am doing or trying is wrong or ineffective. Does anyone have any insight or advise..on how I can help him feel better about life in general?

10-06-2008, 01:27 AM	#2
mustard1234 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 109	do not mean to scare you at all but these seem like signs of clinical depression. i'd recommend at least a visit to a counselor/therapist asap. even if it's just to rule out a chem. imbalance. again, not trying to be alarmist. but a dear friend of mine waited way way too long to get treated and a lot more damage was done than necessary b/c he was in denial or just didn't get checked.