This is taking it's toll on me...

tabbi75 · 09-14-2008, 06:39 PM

Hi. I jsut need to vent. I have a medical condition (ulcerative colitis). It is thought to be an autoimmune condition. Basically i constantly have inflammation in my gut, which gives me cramps, bleeding and diarrhea all the time. The worst part is losing control sometimes. I was diagnosed 5 years ago and the medications I've tried don't really control it. I had to have emergency surgery last Nov and removed half of my colon. They told me that I need to remove the rest in the near future. So probably for a while or maybe even permanantly I'm going to have to wear the ileostomy bag

I'm 33 and the past couple of years were kind of rough with my divorce and graduate school and surgery and more importantly not having my family here with me. My job is stressfull and challenging, but I enjoy it. However I can't ignore the effect of stress on my body and condition. I am so tired of this that don't know what to do anymore. It is really bringing me down. I am an outdoor and very social person. My friends are very underestanding and have been great in supporting me, but still this is very embaressing for me. I can't go out without constantly having to run to restrooms and if I am at a place with no restrooms I just freak out so bad that I have to go right away and you can guess the rest..

Not to mention meeting new people or dating or talking to people that I'm not comfortable with. I can't carry on a conversation without having to cut off people and running to restroom

I know that there are much worse conditions out there and don't want to complain too much. This is just a nasty, inconvinient and embaressing disease that is really depressing me and keeps feeding itself by stressing me out more and depressing me.

Thanks for listening

Helena2011 · 09-14-2008, 06:44 PM

the number one thing is not to be embarrassed by it. If you are embarrassed about ith then you are not going to recover and feel better about your self! all you need to worry about is the ones that love you and support you!!! if you want to be in a relationship and he really cares about you then he wouldnt care if you have this problem/condition he would still support you in all ways!!!

Crazyaboutdogs · 09-14-2008, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabbi75

Hi. I jsut need to vent. I have a medical condition (ulcerative colitis). It is thought to be an autoimmune condition. Basically i constantly have inflammation in my gut, which gives me cramps, bleeding and diarrhea all the time. The worst part is losing control sometimes. I was diagnosed 5 years ago and the medications I've tried don't really control it. I had to have emergency surgery last Nov and removed half of my colon. They told me that I need to remove the rest in the near future. So probably for a while or maybe even permanantly I'm going to have to wear the ileostomy bag

I'm 33 and the past couple of years were kind of rough with my divorce and graduate school and surgery and more importantly not having my family here with me. My job is stressfull and challenging, but I enjoy it. However I can't ignore the effect of stress on my body and condition. I am so tired of this that don't know what to do anymore. It is really bringing me down. I am an outdoor and very social person. My friends are very underestanding and have been great in supporting me, but still this is very embaressing for me. I can't go out without constantly having to run to restrooms and if I am at a place with no restrooms I just freak out so bad that I have to go right away and you can guess the rest..

Not to mention meeting new people or dating or talking to people that I'm not comfortable with. I can't carry on a conversation without having to cut off people and running to restroom

I know that there are much worse conditions out there and don't want to complain too much. This is just a nasty, inconvinient and embaressing disease that is really depressing me and keeps feeding itself by stressing me out more and depressing me.

Thanks for listening

My uncle has this and he had surgery and the bag in his late twenties or early thirties. He got married despite having the bag. His daughter is now dealing with it although she is controlled by medication. It is most definitely not a pleasant disease...nor is Crohn's disease which is also a GI tract disease. Is there a support group you can join...people who are dealing with the same issue...that could take the edge off your frustration just knowing that others are in the same boat.

tabbi75 · 09-14-2008, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazyaboutdogs

My uncle has this and he had surgery and the bag in his late twenties or early thirties. He got married despite having the bag. His daughter is now dealing with it although she is controlled by medication. It is most definitely not a pleasant disease...nor is Crohn's disease which is also a GI tract disease. Is there a support group you can join...people who are dealing with the same issue...that could take the edge off your frustration just knowing that others are in the same boat.

I haven't really looked for it. I am not proud to say that beeing busy with school and dealing with other issues, I kind of wasn't very proactive about this. I know there are several people with the same condition or worse, but dealing with it in a day to day basis or more like hour to hour basis can be very exhusting.

I only get embaressed by it in the beginning when I meet new people, or when I'm with people that don't know about it and I constantly run tho the rr.

It gets even worse.... and again I am not really proud to confess that, when I was goign through my divorce and was very depressed, I kind of used this condition to get back at myself. Kind of like a control issue that anorexic people have. I felt so out of control in my personal life that the only thing I could have control over was my body. So I stopped taking medication for a while w/o telling anyone untill things got really out of control and now it's progressed so much that is very hard to control it. This is very sick

Now I have the guilt feeling of what I did to myself and I have to pay for it.

Crazyaboutdogs · 09-14-2008, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabbi75

I haven't really looked for it. I am not proud to say that beeing busy with school and dealing with other issues, I kind of wasn't very proactive about this. I know there are several people with the same condition or worse, but dealing with it in a day to day basis or more like hour to hour basis can be very exhusting.

I only get embaressed by it in the beginning when I meet new people, or when I'm with people that don't know about it and I constantly run tho the rr.

It gets even worse.... and again I am not really proud to confess that, when I was goign through my divorce and was very depressed, I kind of used this condition to get back at myself. Kind of like a control issue that anorexic people have. I felt so out of control in my personal life that the only thing I could have control over was my body. So I stopped taking medication for a while w/o telling anyone untill things got really out of control and now it's progressed so much that is very hard to control it. This is very sick

Now I have the guilt feeling of what I did to myself and I have to pay for it.

Don't feel guilty...I think most people are unkind to their bodies and well-being in one way or another especially in times of stress...be it eating disorders, eating too much junk, drinking too much coffee, athletes who punish their bodies in pursuit of their sport, indiscriminate sex, too much medication, not taking the medication and the list goes on. It is quite possible the disease would have progressed anyway.

n83 · 09-14-2008, 08:09 PM

Tabbi -

I have an ileostomy (I am 25) from Crohn's disease.. PM me if you want

tabbi75 · 09-14-2008, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crazyaboutdogs

Don't feel guilty...I think most people are unkind to their bodies and well-being in one way or another especially in times of stress...be it eating disorders, eating too much junk, drinking too much coffee, athletes who punish their bodies in pursuit of their sport, indiscriminate sex, too much medication, not taking the medication and the list goes on. It is quite possible the disease would have progressed anyway.

Thanks Crazyabout dogs for your support. I know, its too late now anyways. I just have to focus on cutting some of the stress out of my life, which by nature it seems like I know very well how to stress myslef even over small things...

n83 · 09-14-2008, 08:22 PM

I should also add, for those of you non-knowers who are reading this thread, that Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn's disease are one of the most prevalent chronic illnesses in this country, and yet they're the least discussed because no one wants to talk about the kinds of symptoms they cause.

I'm glad you posted Tabbi, because even though that's not the primary purpose of your thread, you're also educating people about what having these illnesses really does to you.

tabbi75 · 09-14-2008, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n83

I should also add, for those of you non-knowers who are reading this thread, that Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn's disease are one of the most prevalent chronic illnesses in this country, and yet they're the least discussed because no one wants to talk about the kinds of symptoms they cause.

I'm glad you posted Tabbi, because even though that's not the primary purpose of your thread, you're also educating people about what having these illnesses really does to you.

Thanks n83. You are right. people can be very ignorant about this. There've been times that I had to use the rr at small stores and explain to them my condition and they still didnt let me use it, becasue they really don't underestant what it is and you can imagine my panic and the outcome...

How long have you had the ileostomy bag for? Has it made your life easier or harder? Are you going to internalize it? Did you get professional mental support going through it?

n83 · 09-14-2008, 08:50 PM

I've had it for over 10 years now, since I was 13. It's funny you mention stores not letting you use the bathrooms, because an incident happened to a teenage girl where they refused her use of the bathroom and she sued and won her case, if I'm not mistaken.. don't quote me on that.. but the point of it was to change legislation for use of public bathrooms.

Anyways, like I said.. I've had it for 10 years and I can honestly say that without it, I can't even imagine what my life would be like.. honestly if my life was anything like yours, I would have never graduated college, or gotten a good job, or had my son for that matter (he's 5 now...) As much as I don't like having a "crapbag," it's allowing me to live my life!!

Before I had this done, I was literally so depressed that I didn't have a hope or prayer left, I was just hoping to die. I almost got my way, I was so malnourished and weak that my heart stopped on the operating table. My doctors weren't even sure if I would live through the surgery or not. I have come a long way since then and it has everything to do with the ileostomy.

09-14-2008, 06:39 PM	#1
tabbi75 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: somewhere between reality and my dreams.. Gender: Female Age: 34 Posts: 52	This is taking it's toll on me... Hi. I jsut need to vent. I have a medical condition (ulcerative colitis). It is thought to be an autoimmune condition. Basically i constantly have inflammation in my gut, which gives me cramps, bleeding and diarrhea all the time. The worst part is losing control sometimes. I was diagnosed 5 years ago and the medications I've tried don't really control it. I had to have emergency surgery last Nov and removed half of my colon. They told me that I need to remove the rest in the near future. So probably for a while or maybe even permanantly I'm going to have to wear the ileostomy bag I'm 33 and the past couple of years were kind of rough with my divorce and graduate school and surgery and more importantly not having my family here with me. My job is stressfull and challenging, but I enjoy it. However I can't ignore the effect of stress on my body and condition. I am so tired of this that don't know what to do anymore. It is really bringing me down. I am an outdoor and very social person. My friends are very underestanding and have been great in supporting me, but still this is very embaressing for me. I can't go out without constantly having to run to restrooms and if I am at a place with no restrooms I just freak out so bad that I have to go right away and you can guess the rest.. Not to mention meeting new people or dating or talking to people that I'm not comfortable with. I can't carry on a conversation without having to cut off people and running to restroom I know that there are much worse conditions out there and don't want to complain too much. This is just a nasty, inconvinient and embaressing disease that is really depressing me and keeps feeding itself by stressing me out more and depressing me. Thanks for listening __________________ I sit at the edge of my memories and I wonder if I own them! There was in me a prisoner who wouldn't get used to the sound of its own chain, so I set it free :)

09-14-2008, 06:44 PM	#2
Helena2011 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: NC Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 165	the number one thing is not to be embarrassed by it. If you are embarrassed about ith then you are not going to recover and feel better about your self! all you need to worry about is the ones that love you and support you!!! if you want to be in a relationship and he really cares about you then he wouldnt care if you have this problem/condition he would still support you in all ways!!!

09-14-2008, 08:09 PM	#6
n83 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 814	Tabbi - I have an ileostomy (I am 25) from Crohn's disease.. PM me if you want

09-14-2008, 08:22 PM	#8
n83 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 814	I should also add, for those of you non-knowers who are reading this thread, that Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn's disease are one of the most prevalent chronic illnesses in this country, and yet they're the least discussed because no one wants to talk about the kinds of symptoms they cause. I'm glad you posted Tabbi, because even though that's not the primary purpose of your thread, you're also educating people about what having these illnesses really does to you.

09-14-2008, 08:50 PM	#10
n83 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 814	I've had it for over 10 years now, since I was 13. It's funny you mention stores not letting you use the bathrooms, because an incident happened to a teenage girl where they refused her use of the bathroom and she sued and won her case, if I'm not mistaken.. don't quote me on that.. but the point of it was to change legislation for use of public bathrooms. Anyways, like I said.. I've had it for 10 years and I can honestly say that without it, I can't even imagine what my life would be like.. honestly if my life was anything like yours, I would have never graduated college, or gotten a good job, or had my son for that matter (he's 5 now...) As much as I don't like having a "crapbag," it's allowing me to live my life!! Before I had this done, I was literally so depressed that I didn't have a hope or prayer left, I was just hoping to die. I almost got my way, I was so malnourished and weak that my heart stopped on the operating table. My doctors weren't even sure if I would live through the surgery or not. I have come a long way since then and it has everything to do with the ileostomy.