I want to do psychology against my family's wishes

sedated · 09-13-2008, 08:04 AM

Hello all. This is a rather long account, but I really hope you can take some time to advise me accordingly. I'm finishing up my last year of prep school and will be applying to a university soon. I have always thought that I would eventually end up in law, given my propensity for verbal expression and proficiency in the English language.

However, over the last year or so I started to get to know myself a lot better as a person. Also, I began to realize that law is more than just being able to talk well in that it requires a high degree of meticulousness and long hours. Being an infp, I tend to procrastinate on matters that seem trivial to me and am prone to being disorganized, both are traits that I feel will make me unsuitable for law.

So, I began to take an interest in psychology since I have felt a deep sense of satisfaction whenever I made a connection with someone or managed to help them feel better about a problem they were facing. For example, back when I was 14 I used to be your typical "nice guy" and would always listen to girls about their problems with boys and more or less became an emotional crutch for them. However, unlike most guys who would feel like they wasted all their time when they ultimately get rejected, I actually enjoyed listening to their problems and trying to make them feel better. Even though I was disappointed when they told me they only saw me as a friend, I am still very glad I had the chance to get to know them on such a deep level.

Right now, I have actually been very drawn by Freud's work and Jung's personality types. The problem now I suppose is that I come from a Chinese family. Thus, as with most traditional Asian families, my folks see psychology as a soft option and are thoroughly convinced that my employment opportunities are zero. They would much rather that I do something like law or even business and education. Furthermore, they keep insisting that if I wanted to do this line of work I should have chosen subjects in prep school that would allow me to apply to medical so that I could be a psychiatrist.

As an iNFp, I am quite convinced that psychology is what I want to do. My close friends have told me that I would make a good psychologist, but I often get told by teachers who know me superficially that I should do law. I'd really like to hear what you guys think based on my account because I have had a father who got misled into selling insurance when his talents were in engineering. If you've read to the end, thank you.

Crazyaboutdogs · 09-13-2008, 08:18 AM

Do what YOU feel you would be best at, what YOU are more comfortable doing and where YOU think YOU would be happiest. It is your life, your career and certainly going into psychology is not throwing away your life. Your family doesn't have to live with your career choice for the 40 or so years, you do. Life can be pretty miserable if you wake up every morning hating your job...so choose something for you not for your parents.

Raiden1044 · 09-13-2008, 08:22 AM

You need to do what you think will make you happy. Actually this happened to my mom. She wanted to be a psycologist but her parents said "hell no" so she opted for engineering. Long story short, she hates it and is working in a supermarket. She also ended up being 40k in debt (thanks to student loans) because she procrastinated to get a job she wouldn't really like anyway and the degree became useless after 4 years or so.

psychoanalytical · 09-13-2008, 08:29 AM

I have to say, psychology is a waste of time, for a practical intents and purposes.
Unless you want to be a clinical psychologist (in which case you may as well be a bona fide psychiatrist because psychologists have far more boring jobs - trust me patients in real life are nothing as exciting as what Freud and Jung romantically described), commercial/legal psychologist (same thing, may as well be businessman or lawyer) or research/teach, u cant do jack with with the degree.

Psych research is b***s*** anyway - it's not even hard science. It's social science and market research would be far more practical becauase it's applied psychology. U'd be pushing to find funding to do psychological research.

And, ur parents are right to some degree - u'd be regretting doing psych once the paycheck comes in.

A waste of time, Asian parents or not. Even other "soft" subjects such as english/art/journalism would be better than psych.

coolchick · 09-13-2008, 08:39 AM

Listening to what you're saying should be what you should do with your life. If you choose a life in law, then you're just going to be misrable for the rest of your years studying and working life because it is not what you wanted to do.

Your family and teachers already chose their career. THEY CHOSE THEIR OWN CAREER. Who are they to get to pick yours aswell?

For those have have commented and said psychology is a waste of time then they are talking rubbish. They have no idea about the subject in that case. I have a degree in psychology and guess what? I have a very successful career as a teacher! I loved the course and it enabled me to learn so much about people and the environment we live in. There are so many career options, like counselling, teaching, forensics, educationally psychologists, everything! So for those who are saying its a waste of time, what is it you know about psychology? obv nothing!

Congrats on finding something right for you and follow what YOU want to do. Everyone else does what they want and have no right to get to tell you what to do too. xx

sedated · 09-13-2008, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Do what YOU feel you would be best at, what YOU are more comfortable doing and where YOU think YOU would be happiest. It is your life, your career and certainly going into psychology is not throwing away your life. Your family doesn't have to live with your career choice for the 40 or so years, you do. Life can be pretty miserable if you wake up every morning hating your job...so choose something for you not for your parents.

Actually, I'd just like to state that I'm quite comfortable with explaining to my parents why this is important to me. I'm not doing this in any way to be "different" or to rebel against my my "prudish" family. I'm actually quite concerned about the profession itself since I've heard more than one person tell me it's a dead end.

I know that you should do what you want to do regardless of what other people say, but I don't think my idealism can carry me through if taking psychology closes other doors for me. That is to say, I don't think I could take on any job short of being a rock musician without feeling a little envious of some of my friends who will undoubtedly go into medicine and finance and start pulling down 7 grand a month when they hit the workforce.

I hope I don't sound too pretentious here :S

BeStrongBeHappy · 09-13-2008, 09:09 AM

Your first two years are just general ed careers right? So you can start college and not declare a major yet (or get into it with your parents).

Spend time researching different careers includig psychology, and look into the education you would need to get a job. If you studied for a clinical psychologist degree, there would be jobs for you, though most likely you would need a masters degree to do that, but that is only another year or so of study.

So start down the path to school, and work on what you feel is right for you, while doing research to show your parents there are jobs and a decent living in that profession. Anything in the field of medicine these days is frequently a better job than a business degree.

Crazyaboutdogs · 09-13-2008, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sedated

Actually, I'd just like to state that I'm quite comfortable with explaining to my parents why this is important to me. I'm not doing this in any way to be "different" or to rebel against my my "prudish" family. I'm actually quite concerned about the profession itself since I've heard more than one person tell me it's a dead end.

I know that you should do what you want to do regardless of what other people say, but I don't think my idealism can carry me through if taking psychology closes other doors for me. That is to say, I don't think I could take on any job short of being a rock musician without feeling a little envious of some of my friends who will undoubtedly go into medicine and finance and start pulling down 7 grand a month when they hit the workforce.

I hope I don't sound too pretentious here :S

With a high paycheque often comes high stress. Life is more than just having multiple gigantic houses, big cars, big boats, flashy lifestyle. In medicine there are very high fees for malpractice insurance, yearly memberships in professional organizations etc. Some people are very very money driven and I guess it depends on what kind of circle you want to run in...the moneydriven materialistic set or the more down to earth set. Remember that most people who earn big bucks are never satisfied...the scheme and wheel and deal to earn even bigger bucks....money is their chosen God.

just M.E. · 09-13-2008, 09:59 AM

I am going to return to school to get a pshychology degree at some point soon. I chose it for both reasons, the natural draw to working with others and for the financial gain. I know many who have done well in this field and one can continue on and move into other fields through it.

There is also an attractive portion of this that when one has a client base, you can work in this field as many hours as you care to. Law also has that to a certain degree but depending on the type of law, you may be tied to court appearances, etc.

I also know some who have struggled to find rewarding positions in law and have found themselves in a life of insurance claims and lower paying entry positions for too many years.

There are positives and negatives in both, I think career opportunities can be equal.

**annie24** · 09-13-2008, 12:04 PM

i agree with those who say that it is your job, your life, you need to do what makes you happy. and besides, you are the one going to college, not them. if they want a law degree, they can do and get it themselves. like bestrongbehappy said, the first 2 years are general ed anyways, so you don't have to tell them.

i was a double major in college, that is another option to think about. you can be a psych major and apply to medical school and law school too. as long as you have the pre-reqs and have taken the appropriate classes, you should be fine.

if you want to be a psychologist, you should probably continue onto graduate school afterwards, either master's or PhD.

good luck in your studies!

09-13-2008, 08:04 AM	#1
sedated Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 138	I want to do psychology against my family's wishes Hello all. This is a rather long account, but I really hope you can take some time to advise me accordingly. I'm finishing up my last year of prep school and will be applying to a university soon. I have always thought that I would eventually end up in law, given my propensity for verbal expression and proficiency in the English language. However, over the last year or so I started to get to know myself a lot better as a person. Also, I began to realize that law is more than just being able to talk well in that it requires a high degree of meticulousness and long hours. Being an infp, I tend to procrastinate on matters that seem trivial to me and am prone to being disorganized, both are traits that I feel will make me unsuitable for law. So, I began to take an interest in psychology since I have felt a deep sense of satisfaction whenever I made a connection with someone or managed to help them feel better about a problem they were facing. For example, back when I was 14 I used to be your typical "nice guy" and would always listen to girls about their problems with boys and more or less became an emotional crutch for them. However, unlike most guys who would feel like they wasted all their time when they ultimately get rejected, I actually enjoyed listening to their problems and trying to make them feel better. Even though I was disappointed when they told me they only saw me as a friend, I am still very glad I had the chance to get to know them on such a deep level. Right now, I have actually been very drawn by Freud's work and Jung's personality types. The problem now I suppose is that I come from a Chinese family. Thus, as with most traditional Asian families, my folks see psychology as a soft option and are thoroughly convinced that my employment opportunities are zero. They would much rather that I do something like law or even business and education. Furthermore, they keep insisting that if I wanted to do this line of work I should have chosen subjects in prep school that would allow me to apply to medical so that I could be a psychiatrist. As an iNFp, I am quite convinced that psychology is what I want to do. My close friends have told me that I would make a good psychologist, but I often get told by teachers who know me superficially that I should do law. I'd really like to hear what you guys think based on my account because I have had a father who got misled into selling insurance when his talents were in engineering. If you've read to the end, thank you. __________________ "We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so forlornly unhappy as when we have lost our love object or its love." - Sigmund Freud

09-13-2008, 09:59 AM	#9
just M.E. Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Colorado Gender: Female Age: 57 Posts: 1,741	I am going to return to school to get a pshychology degree at some point soon. I chose it for both reasons, the natural draw to working with others and for the financial gain. I know many who have done well in this field and one can continue on and move into other fields through it. There is also an attractive portion of this that when one has a client base, you can work in this field as many hours as you care to. Law also has that to a certain degree but depending on the type of law, you may be tied to court appearances, etc. I also know some who have struggled to find rewarding positions in law and have found themselves in a life of insurance claims and lower paying entry positions for too many years. There are positives and negatives in both, I think career opportunities can be equal. __________________ Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. "Life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday" - Kahil Gibran

09-13-2008, 08:18 AM	#2
Crazyaboutdogs Online Platinum Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Gender: Female Age: 46 Posts: 15,631	Do what YOU feel you would be best at, what YOU are more comfortable doing and where YOU think YOU would be happiest. It is your life, your career and certainly going into psychology is not throwing away your life. Your family doesn't have to live with your career choice for the 40 or so years, you do. Life can be pretty miserable if you wake up every morning hating your job...so choose something for you not for your parents.

09-13-2008, 08:22 AM	#3
Raiden1044 Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 58	You need to do what you think will make you happy. Actually this happened to my mom. She wanted to be a psycologist but her parents said "hell no" so she opted for engineering. Long story short, she hates it and is working in a supermarket. She also ended up being 40k in debt (thanks to student loans) because she procrastinated to get a job she wouldn't really like anyway and the degree became useless after 4 years or so.

09-13-2008, 08:29 AM	#4
psychoanalytical Offline Silver Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 409	I have to say, psychology is a waste of time, for a practical intents and purposes. Unless you want to be a clinical psychologist (in which case you may as well be a bona fide psychiatrist because psychologists have far more boring jobs - trust me patients in real life are nothing as exciting as what Freud and Jung romantically described), commercial/legal psychologist (same thing, may as well be businessman or lawyer) or research/teach, u cant do jack with with the degree. Psych research is b*s* anyway - it's not even hard science. It's social science and market research would be far more practical becauase it's applied psychology. U'd be pushing to find funding to do psychological research. And, ur parents are right to some degree - u'd be regretting doing psych once the paycheck comes in. A waste of time, Asian parents or not. Even other "soft" subjects such as english/art/journalism would be better than psych.

09-13-2008, 08:39 AM	#5
coolchick Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Scotland Gender: Female Age: 26 Posts: 191	Listening to what you're saying should be what you should do with your life. If you choose a life in law, then you're just going to be misrable for the rest of your years studying and working life because it is not what you wanted to do. Your family and teachers already chose their career. THEY CHOSE THEIR OWN CAREER. Who are they to get to pick yours aswell? For those have have commented and said psychology is a waste of time then they are talking rubbish. They have no idea about the subject in that case. I have a degree in psychology and guess what? I have a very successful career as a teacher! I loved the course and it enabled me to learn so much about people and the environment we live in. There are so many career options, like counselling, teaching, forensics, educationally psychologists, everything! So for those who are saying its a waste of time, what is it you know about psychology? obv nothing! Congrats on finding something right for you and follow what YOU want to do. Everyone else does what they want and have no right to get to tell you what to do too. xx

09-13-2008, 09:09 AM	#7
BeStrongBeHappy Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Gender: Female Posts: 7,413	Your first two years are just general ed careers right? So you can start college and not declare a major yet (or get into it with your parents). Spend time researching different careers includig psychology, and look into the education you would need to get a job. If you studied for a clinical psychologist degree, there would be jobs for you, though most likely you would need a masters degree to do that, but that is only another year or so of study. So start down the path to school, and work on what you feel is right for you, while doing research to show your parents there are jobs and a decent living in that profession. Anything in the field of medicine these days is frequently a better job than a business degree.

09-13-2008, 12:04 PM	#10
annie24 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Oct 2004 Age: 29 Posts: 26,827	i agree with those who say that it is your job, your life, you need to do what makes you happy. and besides, you are the one going to college, not them. if they want a law degree, they can do and get it themselves. like bestrongbehappy said, the first 2 years are general ed anyways, so you don't have to tell them. i was a double major in college, that is another option to think about. you can be a psych major and apply to medical school and law school too. as long as you have the pre-reqs and have taken the appropriate classes, you should be fine. if you want to be a psychologist, you should probably continue onto graduate school afterwards, either master's or PhD. good luck in your studies!