This question is part hypothetical, part reality. I'm partly trying to gauge what other people feel in their own minds as well as what I am feeling.
What does falling out of love feel like?
I'm hoping I'm not feeling it, but I'm afraid I may be. I'm becoming disillusioned to what has become of our relationship. Its not that things are terrible. Nobody is cheating or lying or anything. Its just that the general 'feel' of things isn't what I had hoped for in a relationship nearing the one year mark. Granted, we have been through a lot more than the average couple over the course of the year.
I still feel an incredibly strong desire to be with her. I still feel as though losing her I would be crushed and devastated. We still have passion in our relationship, a lot of passion. Our sex life, though its slowed down drastically, is still good. We still hang out, cuddle, hold hands in public, make love with passion not just to fulfill a need, all that stuff. When we are happy together, we are really happy.
But at the same time, I think about being single again a lot. Because when we aren't happy, its horrible. We fight and argue a lot. She has a quick temper and a serious attitude whereas I have a fairly laid back approach to life. However, I am also pretty defensive so when attacked I generally don't just sit there and take it. On the flip side, my laid back attitude also is the cause of a lot of her grief. Likewise, her incredibly easy ability to get all fired up causes all sorts of suffering.
Without going into page long droning detail, it just seems overall that my patience is wearing thin. Every time she gives me attitude I'm becoming less and less willing to work with the situation, and instead just walk off or snap back. Instead of working her back into positive thinking, I just let her stew in her negativity. And I find I don't care as much when that happens.
I think about what life would be like without her and in one thought I'm happy. In the next I'm devastated. If I had to act today, I couldn't just walk away so I guess that says a lot. But this path I'm headed down, maybe in some time, I would be able to and it wouldn't hurt as much.
She claims to be in this 100%, and I believe her, only because I know this is her first relationship with a guy that respects her. Her first real relationship. I've heard stories of her past relationships, and they are pretty intense. So I know she's a little green at all this, and to her maybe this is normal. To me its not. The last loving relationship I was in prior to this was a marriage that ended over two years ago. There was never even a quarter of the amount of attitude and bickering and fights.
I've been in love three times, and the two other times it wasn't me who left. All the times I do leave are in flings or short term relationships. So these feelings are quite new.
I hope there is a way out of these feelings. At this point I'd rather be with her than not, but all this negativity is starting to eat away at me. I really love the girl but its not easy being with her.