Mental "Baggage" Ruined Mother/Son Relationship

Hey guys, I've come here plenty of times and asked for advice. Got some great responses, which is obviously why I'm back Now before you read, please note that I'm 19 years old, and what has happened, transpired because of repressed thoughts I've carried over these years. Thanks.

Anyway, as I said I'm 19 years old. I don't have a job as my college schedule is hectic and won't allow it. I'm focusing more on school anyway, and my mom looks at me living with her as a way for me to do labor when needed, which I'm totally fine with. So I go to college, not a prestigous one or anything, but it's enough to get me some sort of degree which in turn will lead me to a college that I can get a degree in Psychology. I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I'm pretty straight edge At times, I can be pretty mischievous and aggressive but I sublimate it; Mischevious into funny Youtube videos(that have gained a lot of popularity and aggression into working out. So that's my situation.

Since I was a kid, I was never really motivated by my mom, who was the only parent in my life. I have 2 older brothers who were raised by my father, and by the time I was born, my parents divorced. So when I was growing up, my mom was trying harder to fuel a relationship with a new person, instead of build on her youngest son's(me). I can remember many times where I was let down by her behavior; I was bragging all day to my baby sitter that I got a 105 on my spelling test, asking her "would my mom be proud of me?" to which she told me "yes, I'm sure she would". Well, when I showed "mommy", she pretty much brushed it off. My father showed enthusiasm in a supervised visit I had with him, but I can't help but think he was just trying to act like good-2-shoes. There are so MANY moments just like this one. Which in turn led to me just not caring in school. That didn't lead her to motivate me like I originally planned, it only made her call me harsh things like stupid, failure, telling me that she raised me wrong, etc. when really it was just a cry for help. Getting older, I realized I had an aggression toward her and my second oldest brother for calling me such things, like anytime they would call I would speak really lowly and be hostile at moments. It's obvious my subconscience has a lot of baggage, is it not?

So my mom has this bad habit of making as if I never help her with anything. When really, I do! I always do what she requests, but she's just so unappreciative that it seems like she totally forgets. Anyway, I was talking on the phone and she starts yelling "help me!"(as if I knew she needed help and was just ignoring it, apparently I read minds now). It was incredibly embarrassing as I was on the phone, but I simply hung up and said "I hate when you do that". At this point, I just had to let it out. I let her know how emotionally abusive she's been since I was a kid, how much it hurt me and how I finally need to put my foot down. Needless to say, she didn't like that very much and instead of taking it as an opportunity to sit down and talk(and trust me, I would love nothing more), she said "you've ruined our mother/son relationship, I hope you're happy" or something along those lines. And my mom has a lot of pride, saying "sorry" is her way of thinking she "won" some competition when really, I just want my mother back and not the damned little sister she's turning into.

So that's my story, I'm so sorry for explaining it in such a longer manner, but I felt some parts were necessary to explain that I'm not just some brat, I'm actually very caring and by comparison to a lot of the people my age who get away with the things they do, I'm a saint But it's really upsetting me, I'd appreciate any advice you guys have to offer. Thanks for reading, as always. I appreciate it.

Well i would recommend you asking her to go to therapy with you and try to figure a way to comunicate. and if your college has dorms then stay on campus rather than staying at home. I chose to come to a university 2 and a half hours for the same reason that me and my mom could not make it through a whole day without arduing. Believe it or not with me being away from home alot more we are actually closer. I am also a Psycholgy major!!!