Religion (or lack thereof)

valiantv · 08-31-2008, 02:15 PM

This is just a hypothetical question (for me anyway), the situation hasn't arisen (yet) but may some day.

Should a non-religious person get married in a church, Christen his kids just because most of his relations and the relations of the girlfriend are Catholic / semi-Catholic... The gf is slightly more religious.

i.e. the idea is not to cause any bad feeling within either family...

hersmudders · 08-31-2008, 02:18 PM

It depends on how serious he is about his own beliefs (or lack thereof). If he just has more apathy to the whole religious side of life, then I say do what makes her (and them) happy, if it really doesn't bother him. If he is atheist/agnostic for a reason and doesn't want to push religion on his kids, then I say it's a huge cause for conflict.

tina-rocks · 08-31-2008, 02:19 PM

That's a hard one because obviously if the GF is Catholic they are going to want their children to be Christened.

However, these relationships do work out and I would think it would be up to the couple to sort out those differences before entering into a serious relationship so as they both know the score before marriage and children. Overall I think it can work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by valiantv

This is just a hypothetical question (for me anyway), the situation hasn't arisen (yet) but may some day.

Should a non-religious person get married in a church, Christen his kids just because most of his relations and the relations of the girlfriend are Catholic / semi-Catholic... The gf is slightly more religious.

i.e. the idea is not to cause any bad feeling within either family...

Cognitive_Canine · 08-31-2008, 02:31 PM

I'm not religious. However, I will probably marry in a church.

I don't care about religion, but if my SO does, I won't stand in his way if he values giving our children his beliefs.

**BlueAfterglow08** · 08-31-2008, 02:38 PM

Compromise. My Ex fiance was adament he wouldnt marry in a church. As a believer in God I dont ACTUALLY follow a specific religion so it wouldnt bother me that much, esprcially as i plan to get married outdoors.

agent · 08-31-2008, 03:07 PM

If it doesn't compromise his own beliefs I don't see the problem.

The Christianity/Catholicism isn't just the religion but also going to be the "culture" of the family.

valiantv · 09-01-2008, 08:09 PM

OK I was having a religious discussion with two of my believing friends a few days ago, and they asked me if I would have my child christened, I replied "Yes, to keep everyone else happy" and I was accused of being a hypocrite. That's why I posted this question.

My take on it is this:
I don't believe in God, therefore I don't have religious beliefs, therefore by going to a church and doing the whole thing, I am not betraying any God or anyone else and there's no beliefs there that I should be standing up for. All I'm doing is participating in a ceremony that holds no particular meaning for me (religiously).

There is the small matter, of course, that I'm lying to the priest, but since as a priest he holds no special status for me, it's just like lying to anyone else for the sake of keeping the peace.

Regarding culture, there's absolutely no problems there... (with my gf anyway) and I probably wouldn't get involved with someone who let religion dictate our relationship (as it would probably dictate it in ways I didn't like!)

08-31-2008, 02:15 PM	#1
valiantv Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 695	Religion (or lack thereof) This is just a hypothetical question (for me anyway), the situation hasn't arisen (yet) but may some day. Should a non-religious person get married in a church, Christen his kids just because most of his relations and the relations of the girlfriend are Catholic / semi-Catholic... The gf is slightly more religious. i.e. the idea is not to cause any bad feeling within either family... __________________ "A woman may have invented tippex, but only after a man invented the mistake!"

08-31-2008, 02:18 PM	#2
hersmudders Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: 6151 Richmond St, Miami, Florida Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 8,311	It depends on how serious he is about his own beliefs (or lack thereof). If he just has more apathy to the whole religious side of life, then I say do what makes her (and them) happy, if it really doesn't bother him. If he is atheist/agnostic for a reason and doesn't want to push religion on his kids, then I say it's a huge cause for conflict. __________________ "yeah but i want a glow in the dark clone of my penis!!!!"--Epicproportion Spay or neuter your pets! Don't breed or buy while shelter animals die! Remember to click "helpful post" if something on a thread was helpful!

08-31-2008, 02:38 PM	#5
BlueAfterglow08 Offline Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: UK Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 5,256	Compromise. My Ex fiance was adament he wouldnt marry in a church. As a believer in God I dont ACTUALLY follow a specific religion so it wouldnt bother me that much, esprcially as i plan to get married outdoors. __________________ Please see the forum rules before posting http://www.enotalone.com/forum/forum-rules.php ''Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.' -Mahatma Gandhi'

08-31-2008, 03:07 PM	#6
agent Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: England Gender: Female Age: 27 Posts: 3,891	If it doesn't compromise his own beliefs I don't see the problem. The Christianity/Catholicism isn't just the religion but also going to be the "culture" of the family. __________________ "You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right too." - Anais Nin "Come now, don't make such a funeral face. It isn't dying that's sad; it's living when you're not happy." -Octave Mirbeau "Don't be sad, don't be angry, if life deceives you! Submit to your grief; your time for joy will come, believe me." -Aleksandr Pushkin

09-01-2008, 08:09 PM	#7
valiantv Offline Silver Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 695	OK I was having a religious discussion with two of my believing friends a few days ago, and they asked me if I would have my child christened, I replied "Yes, to keep everyone else happy" and I was accused of being a hypocrite. That's why I posted this question. My take on it is this: I don't believe in God, therefore I don't have religious beliefs, therefore by going to a church and doing the whole thing, I am not betraying any God or anyone else and there's no beliefs there that I should be standing up for. All I'm doing is participating in a ceremony that holds no particular meaning for me (religiously). There is the small matter, of course, that I'm lying to the priest, but since as a priest he holds no special status for me, it's just like lying to anyone else for the sake of keeping the peace. Regarding culture, there's absolutely no problems there... (with my gf anyway) and I probably wouldn't get involved with someone who let religion dictate our relationship (as it would probably dictate it in ways I didn't like!) __________________ "A woman may have invented tippex, but only after a man invented the mistake!"

08-31-2008, 02:31 PM	#4
Cognitive_Canine Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow Gender: Female Posts: 11,351	I'm not religious. However, I will probably marry in a church. I don't care about religion, but if my SO does, I won't stand in his way if he values giving our children his beliefs.