totally lost faith in cyber dating

lostsoul61 · 08-19-2008, 11:30 AM

Hi to everyone, not been around for a while.

Im not actually on a dating website, just facebook, looking to make new friends etc. I got really close to a guy from france a few months ago. We spoke online and on phone every day. He seemed to be a great guy, we arranged for him to come to uk later that month. I got a cheque in post for £4,000 with a letter asking me to cash it and send him the money so he could take me on a luxury holiday!!! Found out later it was an internet scam.

Now for past 5wks ive been chatting online and by fone and webcam to this lovely guy i met 60miles away. Stupid as it sounds i sorta fell for him, was thinking about him daily, waiting for his call. We arranged to meet up next week, all planned. Then just last night he tells me hes met someone at work who hes getting feelings for. He said he only fancies me sexually, and would never have relationship with me.

Im gutted, even though i never met him i have strong feelings for him. I feel so upset and disappointed with all this time and emotion ive invested again.

I have lost total faith in men for now.....

By the way my profile pic was taken before burlesque dance class, thats why im dressed that way....just wanted to say im not a madam or dominatrix...lol

Sorry for rambling, just needed to get it off my chest,
Victoria ~

lapseinjudgement · 08-19-2008, 12:53 PM

Im sorry that has happened for you. I would stress to you not to loose faith in people yet but to be wary. The world is a messed up place sometimes there are a lot of people out there looking to screw over another person. It is very easy to lose faith but if you do that you lose a great deal more than whats on the surface.

D_Lish · 08-19-2008, 05:19 PM

You should never believe what you are told online, 95% of the time they are feeding us bull!

Ive been conned twice....first time he was married but failed to tell me, second was a psycho who wanted to marry me and was planning kids after a fortnight!

Honestly! Some of em take us for right bimbos....!

If you meet anyone, best to meet immediatley.....that's my view now anyway.

christinesee · 08-20-2008, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostsoul61

Hi to everyone, not been around for a while.

Im not actually on a dating website, just facebook, looking to make new friends etc. I got really close to a guy from france a few months ago. We spoke online and on phone every day. He seemed to be a great guy, we arranged for him to come to uk later that month. I got a cheque in post for £4,000 with a letter asking me to cash it and send him the money so he could take me on a luxury holiday!!! Found out later it was an internet scam.

Now for past 5wks ive been chatting online and by fone and webcam to this lovely guy i met 60miles away. Stupid as it sounds i sorta fell for him, was thinking about him daily, waiting for his call. We arranged to meet up next week, all planned. Then just last night he tells me hes met someone at work who hes getting feelings for. He said he only fancies me sexually, and would never have relationship with me.

Im gutted, even though i never met him i have strong feelings for him. I feel so upset and disappointed with all this time and emotion ive invested again.

I have lost total faith in men for now.....

By the way my profile pic was taken before burlesque dance class, thats why im dressed that way....just wanted to say im not a madam or dominatrix...lol

Sorry for rambling, just needed to get it off my chest,
Victoria ~

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I understand how it feels to invest your time on someone online and then have things turn out this way. Most likely he was not the person whom he may have portrayed to be... and if thats the case your better off without him. If you decided to try this gain..I would simply gaurd your heart.

Batya33 · 08-20-2008, 07:53 AM

That's the problem with "on line dating" as opposed to meeting someone in person ASAP who you first contacted through an on line dating site. No need to lose faith in "men" just because you encountered a con artist (which I am sure wouldn't happen to you again because you won't type and talk to someone thousands of miles away who says he is going to send you money), and because someone else met someone else and changed his mind.

Many times when I was dating different people I went on a first date with one guy, then met someone else the next night who I preferred, and declined a second date with the first guy. Nothing wrong with it. In your case, you weren't even dating the guy yet so of course it's fine that he met someone else. That's totally normal and you could have done the same - you had no commitment or even agreement to close off your options.

Please don't see these experiences as indicative of men or indicative of meeting people in person who you happen to contact first through an on line dating site. it does reflect perhaps that you need to walk away from the puter and be more social in real life so you're not as vulnerable to getting attached through typing and talking to people you've never met in person.

SchecterGuy · 08-21-2008, 01:55 PM

I think if I make an attempt for someone online I want to meet in person ASAP. No need to prolong the whole ordeal. And from my bitterness dating in general sucks. But that is just me.

veda999 · 10-14-2008, 11:58 AM

I also am very wary of online dating and communication. I think that men lie more than women, but women lie as well. Don't believe anything you read from people on the internet. I know a man who told me he was involved in a relationship, then I saw him on all kinds of dating sites. I am starting to think that finding an honest man is impossible.

08-19-2008, 11:30 AM	#1
lostsoul61 Offline Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: United Kingdom Gender: Female Posts: 5	totally lost faith in cyber dating Hi to everyone, not been around for a while. Im not actually on a dating website, just facebook, looking to make new friends etc. I got really close to a guy from france a few months ago. We spoke online and on phone every day. He seemed to be a great guy, we arranged for him to come to uk later that month. I got a cheque in post for £4,000 with a letter asking me to cash it and send him the money so he could take me on a luxury holiday!!! Found out later it was an internet scam. Now for past 5wks ive been chatting online and by fone and webcam to this lovely guy i met 60miles away. Stupid as it sounds i sorta fell for him, was thinking about him daily, waiting for his call. We arranged to meet up next week, all planned. Then just last night he tells me hes met someone at work who hes getting feelings for. He said he only fancies me sexually, and would never have relationship with me. Im gutted, even though i never met him i have strong feelings for him. I feel so upset and disappointed with all this time and emotion ive invested again. I have lost total faith in men for now..... By the way my profile pic was taken before burlesque dance class, thats why im dressed that way....just wanted to say im not a madam or dominatrix...lol Sorry for rambling, just needed to get it off my chest, Victoria ~ __________________ If something seems too good to be true, it usually is ~ Treat others the way you wish to be treated yourself ~

08-19-2008, 12:53 PM	#2
lapseinjudgement Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Somewhere in my thoughts Gender: Male Posts: 232	Im sorry that has happened for you. I would stress to you not to loose faith in people yet but to be wary. The world is a messed up place sometimes there are a lot of people out there looking to screw over another person. It is very easy to lose faith but if you do that you lose a great deal more than whats on the surface. __________________ I live in my own little world.... but its ok they know me here.

08-21-2008, 01:55 PM	#6
SchecterGuy Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: San Jose, Ca Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 389	I think if I make an attempt for someone online I want to meet in person ASAP. No need to prolong the whole ordeal. And from my bitterness dating in general sucks. But that is just me. __________________ [QUOTE=Clementine orange;2602553] SchecterGuy, I think you're gonna make a great dad one day![/QUOTE]

08-19-2008, 05:19 PM	#3
D_Lish Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: England UK Gender: Female Age: 34 Posts: 3,728	You should never believe what you are told online, 95% of the time they are feeding us bull! Ive been conned twice....first time he was married but failed to tell me, second was a psycho who wanted to marry me and was planning kids after a fortnight! Honestly! Some of em take us for right bimbos....! If you meet anyone, best to meet immediatley.....that's my view now anyway.

08-20-2008, 07:53 AM	#5
Batya33 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 19,059	That's the problem with "on line dating" as opposed to meeting someone in person ASAP who you first contacted through an on line dating site. No need to lose faith in "men" just because you encountered a con artist (which I am sure wouldn't happen to you again because you won't type and talk to someone thousands of miles away who says he is going to send you money), and because someone else met someone else and changed his mind. Many times when I was dating different people I went on a first date with one guy, then met someone else the next night who I preferred, and declined a second date with the first guy. Nothing wrong with it. In your case, you weren't even dating the guy yet so of course it's fine that he met someone else. That's totally normal and you could have done the same - you had no commitment or even agreement to close off your options. Please don't see these experiences as indicative of men or indicative of meeting people in person who you happen to contact first through an on line dating site. it does reflect perhaps that you need to walk away from the puter and be more social in real life so you're not as vulnerable to getting attached through typing and talking to people you've never met in person.

10-14-2008, 11:58 AM	#7
veda999 Offline Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 113	I also am very wary of online dating and communication. I think that men lie more than women, but women lie as well. Don't believe anything you read from people on the internet. I know a man who told me he was involved in a relationship, then I saw him on all kinds of dating sites. I am starting to think that finding an honest man is impossible.