So I Finally Told My Parents...

blackandgold · 08-14-2008, 02:23 AM

I finally told my parents I'm pregnant. Their reaction after the inital shock...so whens the abortion. Maybe not in those exact words but they may as well have said that. They made it very clear they do not want me to have this baby. I was expecting them to force me to marry my ex boyfriend so I was a bit thrown. Apparently they don't want me to have his baby because he's a loser. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer this Summer and as much as I love him and the whole cancer thing has made me not want to fight with him he's still such a * * * * * * * . His reaction was very unemotional and he basically just said take care of it soon because it cant interfere with your soccer training. I don't even know what to say to them because neither of them could care less.

fragmint · 08-14-2008, 02:32 AM

agh this is a tough one. how do YOU feel about it though, do you want to have this baby? be with the ex? what does the ex feel about it too?

Gracelove · 08-14-2008, 02:36 AM

Sad.

How old are you? Can you afford to care for this baby without any financial support from your parents?

Mabye you can ask them to allow you to carry the baby to term, and give the child up for adoption.

blackandgold · 08-14-2008, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fragmint

agh this is a tough one. how do YOU feel about it though, do you want to have this baby? be with the ex? what does the ex feel about it too?

I feel like it would ruin my entire life and everything I've worked for as far as soccer goes. I play soccer seriously and it's almost the most important thing in my life. My ex cheated on me. I feel like I'm better than that and I'm not going to stick around for someone who doesn't value me enough to keep it in his pants. He wants me to forgive him and he wants us to get back together. He also wants me to keep the baby.

fragmint · 08-14-2008, 03:23 AM

are you feeling down because you dont know what to do about the baby, or are you feeling down or upset/etc cause of your parents' unemotional response?

fragmint · 08-14-2008, 04:26 AM

well from what you've said about the situation, it seems like youfeel the baby is going to ruin your life and im sure your parents feel the same way. maybe its because they know soccer is important to you they assumed youd make the same decision as them?

i think you first need to make a decision about the baby since abortion is available on a 'time limit' sort of. this is jst me but i would not have the baby if i was in the situation described. you said soccer is really important to you and you feel the baby would ruin your life. trust your gut on this one. sports it not something you can just put on 'hold' and get back to and start where you left off. i know a lot of people who had kids earlier than they wanted (MUCH earlier) in all sort of situations (married, unmarried, etc) and most had to put their life dreams and goals on hold, KNOWING That they might NEVER get back to those goals and dreams because they now have a baby.

i think you should think about this in just terms of what YOU personally want. not what anyone else wants or wants you to want, etc. think about the reality of the situation -youre goign to be a single mother if you have this baby. i know the ex wants to get back and probably says he wants to help or whtever. but when you guys were exclusive thats like a promise to not cheat. people who break promises tend to make empty ones too.

emmie_g · 08-14-2008, 04:57 AM

I can't even believe that they expect you to sort this on your own!
This is a very stressfull time and you need all the support you can get, have you talked to your friends? what do they think?

agent · 08-14-2008, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emmie_g

I can't even believe that they expect you to sort this on your own!
This is a very stressfull time and you need all the support you can get, have you talked to your friends? what do they think?

To be honest, I can see it. He's trying to fight lung cancer and now this?

Honestly, I think the OP wanted some attention from her parents and hasn't recieved it - either in the positive or in the negative.

TheSmilingTurnip · 08-14-2008, 09:51 AM

If *you* want to have an abortion, and you feel like it's fine and the right thing for you, then you can make that choice. If you don't want to and you feel like you'll regret it, then don't have one. No one can make you and your parents cannot legally throw you out; CPS would be at their door.

Ashleigh, it really comes down to what you want to do and what you feel is right for you. Which choice can you live with - Adoption or abortion? You don't have to answer, it's just food for thought. Either way, it's not going to be easy. It sounds like keeping the baby and raising it is not one that you can live with.

I know the soccer is your dream and that it may result in a scholarship for you, but remember that that is temporary. This is a far more serious decision than sports.

Gunmetal · 08-14-2008, 10:23 AM

Alright, how about we look at the negatives...the regrets. What would you regret *more*, not knowing what its like to carry a baby to term and raise it/ adopt it out, or never knowing what the potential of YOURSELF really is, cause you never 'lived' for just yourself.

Now for my opinion - you can most likely get pregnant again. You sound like an intelligent young lady and I'm sure you will find a man who wants to start a family with you. A college man, educated, not a loser... If i were you, i would wait and go through this experience in a positive way, when you as a person have much more of your true self to give to a child, cause youve really lived and experienced the world.

I would urge you to have a procedure. I am sorry the father isnt in the picture for at least moral support, etc. I don't 'believe' in abortion, i think its traumatic, but mistakes happen. Yes its 'selfish' but selfishness is sometimes a sense of self preservation.

good luck to you, ill be interested to read what youve decided

08-14-2008, 02:23 AM	#1
blackandgold Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 80	So I Finally Told My Parents... I finally told my parents I'm pregnant. Their reaction after the inital shock...so whens the abortion. Maybe not in those exact words but they may as well have said that. They made it very clear they do not want me to have this baby. I was expecting them to force me to marry my ex boyfriend so I was a bit thrown. Apparently they don't want me to have his baby because he's a loser. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer this Summer and as much as I love him and the whole cancer thing has made me not want to fight with him he's still such a * * * * * * * . His reaction was very unemotional and he basically just said take care of it soon because it cant interfere with your soccer training. I don't even know what to say to them because neither of them could care less.

08-14-2008, 09:51 AM	#9
TheSmilingTurnip Offline Platinum Member Join Date: May 2005 Age: 33 Posts: 2,042	If you want to have an abortion, and you feel like it's fine and the right thing for you, then you can make that choice. If you don't want to and you feel like you'll regret it, then don't have one. No one can make you and your parents cannot legally throw you out; CPS would be at their door. Ashleigh, it really comes down to what you want to do and what you feel is right for you. Which choice can you live with - Adoption or abortion? You don't have to answer, it's just food for thought. Either way, it's not going to be easy. It sounds like keeping the baby and raising it is not one that you can live with. I know the soccer is your dream and that it may result in a scholarship for you, but remember that that is temporary. This is a far more serious decision than sports. __________________ BOUNDARIES...where you end and someone else begins. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty." ~ Kevin Bacon on keeping marriage together.

08-14-2008, 02:32 AM	#2
fragmint Offline Gold Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 628	agh this is a tough one. how do YOU feel about it though, do you want to have this baby? be with the ex? what does the ex feel about it too?

08-14-2008, 02:36 AM	#3
Gracelove Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Gender: Female Posts: 1,444	Sad. How old are you? Can you afford to care for this baby without any financial support from your parents? Mabye you can ask them to allow you to carry the baby to term, and give the child up for adoption.

08-14-2008, 03:23 AM	#5
fragmint Offline Gold Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 628	are you feeling down because you dont know what to do about the baby, or are you feeling down or upset/etc cause of your parents' unemotional response?

08-14-2008, 04:26 AM	#6
fragmint Offline Gold Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 628	well from what you've said about the situation, it seems like youfeel the baby is going to ruin your life and im sure your parents feel the same way. maybe its because they know soccer is important to you they assumed youd make the same decision as them? i think you first need to make a decision about the baby since abortion is available on a 'time limit' sort of. this is jst me but i would not have the baby if i was in the situation described. you said soccer is really important to you and you feel the baby would ruin your life. trust your gut on this one. sports it not something you can just put on 'hold' and get back to and start where you left off. i know a lot of people who had kids earlier than they wanted (MUCH earlier) in all sort of situations (married, unmarried, etc) and most had to put their life dreams and goals on hold, KNOWING That they might NEVER get back to those goals and dreams because they now have a baby. i think you should think about this in just terms of what YOU personally want. not what anyone else wants or wants you to want, etc. think about the reality of the situation -youre goign to be a single mother if you have this baby. i know the ex wants to get back and probably says he wants to help or whtever. but when you guys were exclusive thats like a promise to not cheat. people who break promises tend to make empty ones too.

08-14-2008, 04:57 AM	#7
emmie_g Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: England,Staffordshire Gender: Female Posts: 317	I can't even believe that they expect you to sort this on your own! This is a very stressfull time and you need all the support you can get, have you talked to your friends? what do they think?

08-14-2008, 10:23 AM	#10
Gunmetal Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 76	Alright, how about we look at the negatives...the regrets. What would you regret more, not knowing what its like to carry a baby to term and raise it/ adopt it out, or never knowing what the potential of YOURSELF really is, cause you never 'lived' for just yourself. Now for my opinion - you can most likely get pregnant again. You sound like an intelligent young lady and I'm sure you will find a man who wants to start a family with you. A college man, educated, not a loser... If i were you, i would wait and go through this experience in a positive way, when you as a person have much more of your true self to give to a child, cause youve really lived and experienced the world. I would urge you to have a procedure. I am sorry the father isnt in the picture for at least moral support, etc. I don't 'believe' in abortion, i think its traumatic, but mistakes happen. Yes its 'selfish' but selfishness is sometimes a sense of self preservation. good luck to you, ill be interested to read what youve decided