I hate having to wait years to have a baby!

scared and alone · 08-08-2008, 05:24 AM

I know its the responsible thing to do, I am NOT in a place, financially right now to have a baby. It is the LAST thing I need actually. I just wish wanting one would go away lol. I hate having to suffer with the feeling for YEARS before I can actually financially and physically take care of one when I yearn for one so bad right now!

sidehop · 08-08-2008, 06:46 AM

I applaud you for being patient and making a wise decision! It really is a lot of time and money involved aside from all the wonderful things a newborn brings into your life.

Of course right now you get to do things you won't be able to once you have children! Enjoy your time now and of course even a better time once you have your baby

Our daughter (16 month) has really changed my life. They grow up too fast!!!

CaptainPlanet · 08-08-2008, 07:38 AM

Are you married ? Being married might help with that cause. Sorry if you are already married but you can still do it even if you don't prepare for years.

Victoria66 · 08-08-2008, 09:14 AM

Have a life first really......I had my son when I was 31 and I am glad that I did because I got to be ME for a while. After you have children it is never about you again,ever. You will miss you....I know I miss myself,being by myself being able to come and go as I please. Just remember after a baby that is not an option again for like 16 years and even that is limited until they move out on their own. And then they have kids and bring them home for you to watch and tend to while they work. Once you are a mother it is FOREVER cause then you are a grandma after.Breath the roses for a while, experience life and then take the plunge.

Catdancer · 08-08-2008, 09:35 AM

Girl, I am 34 and pregnant with my first baby. I wouldnt have it any other way. I have traveled the US for months at a time. Camping and living outdoors. I worked when I needed to and just traveled, seeing everything that I always dreamed of seeing. I started a business that was a dream of mine. I did all that I ever wanted to do. I got educated. I LIVED my life. Now, I am ready for a family. I am ready for a baby. I have no regrets. I love every single thing about the life I have made for myself. That's the way it should be. There were times thru the years of my twenties, especially the later years as I approached 30, that I felt the urge to have a baby, but it wasnt the right time. Financially I was unable, I had a tiny apartment. Barely making ends meet, but now everything is falling into place, just as it's meant to.

I know it's hard when everyone around you already has children. But taking the time to discover your dreams and making them come true is an amazing feeling. Children can wait a couple of years. This is YOUR time!! Live it! Cat

RockabillyLove · 08-08-2008, 09:06 PM

I have a 2 year old daughter already and am craving another child.
But on mechanic's wages, my husband doesn't makes enough yet to support another addition.
We worked it out, and in 2 years time he will be earning enough to support another baby very easily.

My father took me on a round the world trip from when I was 13 to when I was 15 years old, to give me the chance that not many others have.

Some people have no desire to 'have a life' before they have a child.
My schoolmates always said they would 'have fun' before settling down. They all wanted to get married at 30 and have kids at 40.
I certainly didn't.
I mean, wow. What an oppurtunity for endless fun by getting drunk every weekend, sleeping with any man that walks past and trying all sorts of drugs that have god only knows what effect on my development.

I only wanted to find my true love, and raise many children by him.

Waiting will make the actual happening all the more enjoyable.

scared and alone · 08-14-2008, 07:31 PM

No, im not married, but i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We both want kids, but we both especially him, know its just NOT the right time right now. At all. I mean, his career is about to change BIG TIME in the next few months. And i'm just now starting a part time job. I'm actually gonna try to get into a doctor to get on BC soon. And yes, we DO use condoms. I just turned 24, I want to at least have a child before i'm 30! And also, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me, If we do have a child together, I want him to be around for the child growing up and graduating and stuff.

greeneyedgal · 08-19-2008, 05:04 AM

I can't help feeling like maybe what you need to address are your maternal urges. I am 30 and am feeling similarly NOW although I am not in a r'ship nor am I in a rush to be in one. My solution was to get a cat. She gives me the affection I need and a kitty litter tray is easier to clean than endless nappies. Also my mental state does not impact upon her upbringing either as she knows no better.

I worked with children in care for some time and it is heartbreaking to witness the pain in the lives of the often traumatised children of some very neglectful and unworthy people. There are so many unwanted or ill-cared for children in the world you need to be sure it's what you both really want.

I'm not judging your situation as I am not you but I wanted to share my experience with you - when I was 24, I had a live in boyfriend and I unexpectedly fell pregnant. We were both happy but at 5 months we found out our child had severe abnormalities and I chose to terminate - I regret this every day and it was extremely distressing and still is. This would be another side you would need to consider. If you have a baby and they are differently-abled, do you have the mental fitness and financial stability to support a special needs child?

Just be sure that you aren't feeling pressured into having a baby because of your partner's age or any other reason as you are still quite young at 24. I am 30 and I have survived not having children, I've had adventures and educated myself and had the good sense not to stay in an unhealthy relationship because it's the socially expected thing to do.

As for that lady above, wow I don't know what sweeping judgment tree that pearler fell from but contrary to at least your belief, not all singles GO and get drunk and grab the nearest man to sleep with every weekend. If you are satisfied with your life, you needn't question the morality of those who do not do as you do. Far out - I hope your children end up more open-minded than you! I have an interest in crafts and leaf tea - sorry I don't fit your stereotype of the swinging single - sheesh!

bijoux27 · 08-19-2008, 01:00 PM

I feel you on that one! I want to fast-forward my life lol.

sidehop · 08-21-2008, 08:45 AM

My g/f and I were talking about this, we enjoy every minute of having our daughter even though she can be a big pain in the rear (well they are girls...and like my g/f, they are full time pain in the butt job LOL) but we agreed up to around 25~27, enjoy life. Unless you just want to settle down and have a big family, go for it! But if there's any part of you that want to explore the world, finish school and do things you normally would not be able to, it's your life, gotta enjoy it before everything comes to a hault because it will.

I used to ride my bike almost everyday until I couldn't move any more until I met my g/f and now with our beautiful daughter, I don't mind being able to ride only few hours a week. Just looking forward to going home and see her big smile and hug me all afternoon (my g/f always gets the second hugs and kisses now haha).

08-08-2008, 05:24 AM	#1
scared and alone Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,207	I hate having to wait years to have a baby! I know its the responsible thing to do, I am NOT in a place, financially right now to have a baby. It is the LAST thing I need actually. I just wish wanting one would go away lol. I hate having to suffer with the feeling for YEARS before I can actually financially and physically take care of one when I yearn for one so bad right now!

08-08-2008, 09:06 PM	#6
RockabillyLove Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Melbourne, Australia Gender: Female Posts: 90	I have a 2 year old daughter already and am craving another child. But on mechanic's wages, my husband doesn't makes enough yet to support another addition. We worked it out, and in 2 years time he will be earning enough to support another baby very easily. My father took me on a round the world trip from when I was 13 to when I was 15 years old, to give me the chance that not many others have. Some people have no desire to 'have a life' before they have a child. My schoolmates always said they would 'have fun' before settling down. They all wanted to get married at 30 and have kids at 40. I certainly didn't. I mean, wow. What an oppurtunity for endless fun by getting drunk every weekend, sleeping with any man that walks past and trying all sorts of drugs that have god only knows what effect on my development. I only wanted to find my true love, and raise many children by him. Waiting will make the actual happening all the more enjoyable. __________________ 1955 Cadillac- I can see Paradise by your Dashboard Light

08-19-2008, 05:04 AM	#8
greeneyedgal Offline Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 31 Posts: 62	I can't help feeling like maybe what you need to address are your maternal urges. I am 30 and am feeling similarly NOW although I am not in a r'ship nor am I in a rush to be in one. My solution was to get a cat. She gives me the affection I need and a kitty litter tray is easier to clean than endless nappies. Also my mental state does not impact upon her upbringing either as she knows no better. I worked with children in care for some time and it is heartbreaking to witness the pain in the lives of the often traumatised children of some very neglectful and unworthy people. There are so many unwanted or ill-cared for children in the world you need to be sure it's what you both really want. I'm not judging your situation as I am not you but I wanted to share my experience with you - when I was 24, I had a live in boyfriend and I unexpectedly fell pregnant. We were both happy but at 5 months we found out our child had severe abnormalities and I chose to terminate - I regret this every day and it was extremely distressing and still is. This would be another side you would need to consider. If you have a baby and they are differently-abled, do you have the mental fitness and financial stability to support a special needs child? Just be sure that you aren't feeling pressured into having a baby because of your partner's age or any other reason as you are still quite young at 24. I am 30 and I have survived not having children, I've had adventures and educated myself and had the good sense not to stay in an unhealthy relationship because it's the socially expected thing to do. As for that lady above, wow I don't know what sweeping judgment tree that pearler fell from but contrary to at least your belief, not all singles GO and get drunk and grab the nearest man to sleep with every weekend. If you are satisfied with your life, you needn't question the morality of those who do not do as you do. Far out - I hope your children end up more open-minded than you! I have an interest in crafts and leaf tea - sorry I don't fit your stereotype of the swinging single - sheesh! Last edited by greeneyedgal; 08-19-2008 at 05:41 AM.

08-08-2008, 06:46 AM	#2
sidehop Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: NH USA Gender: Male Posts: 1,599	I applaud you for being patient and making a wise decision! It really is a lot of time and money involved aside from all the wonderful things a newborn brings into your life. Of course right now you get to do things you won't be able to once you have children! Enjoy your time now and of course even a better time once you have your baby Our daughter (16 month) has really changed my life. They grow up too fast!!!

08-08-2008, 07:38 AM	#3
CaptainPlanet Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 4,259	Are you married ? Being married might help with that cause. Sorry if you are already married but you can still do it even if you don't prepare for years.

08-08-2008, 09:14 AM	#4
Victoria66 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: for now where the CF sends us Gender: Female Age: 43 Posts: 4,600	Have a life first really......I had my son when I was 31 and I am glad that I did because I got to be ME for a while. After you have children it is never about you again,ever. You will miss you....I know I miss myself,being by myself being able to come and go as I please. Just remember after a baby that is not an option again for like 16 years and even that is limited until they move out on their own. And then they have kids and bring them home for you to watch and tend to while they work. Once you are a mother it is FOREVER cause then you are a grandma after.Breath the roses for a while, experience life and then take the plunge.

08-08-2008, 09:35 AM	#5
Catdancer Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: None Specified Posts: 2,360	Girl, I am 34 and pregnant with my first baby. I wouldnt have it any other way. I have traveled the US for months at a time. Camping and living outdoors. I worked when I needed to and just traveled, seeing everything that I always dreamed of seeing. I started a business that was a dream of mine. I did all that I ever wanted to do. I got educated. I LIVED my life. Now, I am ready for a family. I am ready for a baby. I have no regrets. I love every single thing about the life I have made for myself. That's the way it should be. There were times thru the years of my twenties, especially the later years as I approached 30, that I felt the urge to have a baby, but it wasnt the right time. Financially I was unable, I had a tiny apartment. Barely making ends meet, but now everything is falling into place, just as it's meant to. I know it's hard when everyone around you already has children. But taking the time to discover your dreams and making them come true is an amazing feeling. Children can wait a couple of years. This is YOUR time!! Live it! Cat

08-14-2008, 07:31 PM	#7
scared and alone Offline Silver Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,207	No, im not married, but i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We both want kids, but we both especially him, know its just NOT the right time right now. At all. I mean, his career is about to change BIG TIME in the next few months. And i'm just now starting a part time job. I'm actually gonna try to get into a doctor to get on BC soon. And yes, we DO use condoms. I just turned 24, I want to at least have a child before i'm 30! And also, my boyfriend is 12 years older than me, If we do have a child together, I want him to be around for the child growing up and graduating and stuff.

08-19-2008, 01:00 PM	#9
bijoux27 Offline Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 1,180	I feel you on that one! I want to fast-forward my life lol.

08-21-2008, 08:45 AM	#10
sidehop Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: NH USA Gender: Male Posts: 1,599	My g/f and I were talking about this, we enjoy every minute of having our daughter even though she can be a big pain in the rear (well they are girls...and like my g/f, they are full time pain in the butt job LOL) but we agreed up to around 25~27, enjoy life. Unless you just want to settle down and have a big family, go for it! But if there's any part of you that want to explore the world, finish school and do things you normally would not be able to, it's your life, gotta enjoy it before everything comes to a hault because it will. I used to ride my bike almost everyday until I couldn't move any more until I met my g/f and now with our beautiful daughter, I don't mind being able to ride only few hours a week. Just looking forward to going home and see her big smile and hug me all afternoon (my g/f always gets the second hugs and kisses now haha).