please, please help! (guys i need your input)

mandyc · 07-19-2008, 04:16 PM

So I have read tons of other stuff on the site that relates to my problem... but I still need to ask it, because I still don't know what to do.

I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now. He was a virgin, so maybe some of it was performance anxiety. But we have had sex multiple times since, and I have given him many bjs. But he has never come

!!

I know that i just need to enjoy it and not worry about the end result, and that it still feels good for him, so on so on. But now I am seriously starting to worry that I'm not adequate or that he's not happy. I have never felt so close to someone so quickly and I care about him so much. but if this keeps up I feel like it will ruin the relationship or that he will look some where else.

Please what do I do? I know it shouldn't be about time... but how long does it take for some guys? He will be really hard one second, and the next not so much the next. What is going on?? I've tried all the tips on this site and nothing can get him off.

Sorry this is so long.... any help/advice would be greatly greatly appreciated!

kaoticbaby · 07-19-2008, 04:34 PM

well my ex took about a minute or two --lol-- but my bf now takes FOREVER!

(Side note: I know you boys think that marathon sex is what every girl is after, but seriously, foreplay aside, having sex for more than a half hour is just not as fun as you think it is.)

I get frustrated sometimes, too, and I think it's because of me that he won't come. I've brought it up several times and he told me it was just how he is, and has nothing to do with me. He said his ex girlfriend actually CRIED a few times because she thought that he didn't like her because of this same thing.

I just have to be patient with him, and ask him what will get him off the best, and then keep at it. I know it gets a little tiring, especially if you're giving him oral, but if you really want to make him get there you have to be patient!

And I agree that he probably still has performance anxiety. A month is a pretty short amount of time, so he probably hasn't gotten over trying really hard to impress you yet. And that would make any guy go limp!

mandyc · 07-20-2008, 12:35 AM

my olf bf was the same way. He was really easy to get off. And now it seems impossible...I know you said forever, but how long does it take your bf now?

bijoux27 · 07-20-2008, 12:43 AM

Maybe he's just holding back.

kaoticbaby · 07-20-2008, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandyc

my olf bf was the same way. He was really easy to get off. And now it seems impossible...I know you said forever, but how long does it take your bf now?

sometimes an hour, and hour and a half. sometimes not at all

pboy · 07-29-2008, 01:04 PM

hmmm... i try and hold back, because i want her to get hers. Thats just important to me

i could always finish myself off later. but sometimes she'll help me cum after shes done. it felt insanely great the whole way through, but either i was holding back, or i was "desensitized" by prior masturbation

kenshinkitten · 07-29-2008, 01:20 PM

My boyfriend can't come from blowjobs either, I have posted on this site and gotten good advice that help tremendously but it never ended happily for me.

Some guys just can't come from bjs and we girls have to accept that, don't take it personally because it's nothing like that.

luckyyy · 07-29-2008, 06:26 PM

I was a virgin until I met my current SO. It took me a while to cum from us having sex. It was just lack of knowing what to do, it felt like I was putting in too much energy into the wrong parts of my body if that makes sense. After a while I would come every now and then and after a few months it was every time...good times

Anonymous122 · 07-30-2008, 03:43 AM

Whenever any relationship I am in becomes sexual, I have problems finishing for a couple months. I don't know why, I just do, and as I get more and more comfortable with the person, those problems go away.

It's probably perfectly normal.

mandyc · 07-31-2008, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckyyy

. It was just lack of knowing what to do, it felt like I was putting in too much energy into the wrong parts of my body if that makes sense. After a while I would come every now and then and after a few months it was every time...good times

what positions made it easier for you? is there a certain way thats better than others?

07-19-2008, 04:16 PM	#1
mandyc Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Carolina Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 110	please, please help! (guys i need your input) So I have read tons of other stuff on the site that relates to my problem... but I still need to ask it, because I still don't know what to do. I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now. He was a virgin, so maybe some of it was performance anxiety. But we have had sex multiple times since, and I have given him many bjs. But he has never come !! I know that i just need to enjoy it and not worry about the end result, and that it still feels good for him, so on so on. But now I am seriously starting to worry that I'm not adequate or that he's not happy. I have never felt so close to someone so quickly and I care about him so much. but if this keeps up I feel like it will ruin the relationship or that he will look some where else. Please what do I do? I know it shouldn't be about time... but how long does it take for some guys? He will be really hard one second, and the next not so much the next. What is going on?? I've tried all the tips on this site and nothing can get him off. Sorry this is so long.... any help/advice would be greatly greatly appreciated!

07-29-2008, 01:20 PM	#7
kenshinkitten Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Bellevue, WA Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 539	My boyfriend can't come from blowjobs either, I have posted on this site and gotten good advice that help tremendously but it never ended happily for me. Some guys just can't come from bjs and we girls have to accept that, don't take it personally because it's nothing like that. __________________ "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."

07-19-2008, 04:34 PM	#2
kaoticbaby Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 1,904	well my ex took about a minute or two --lol-- but my bf now takes FOREVER! (Side note: I know you boys think that marathon sex is what every girl is after, but seriously, foreplay aside, having sex for more than a half hour is just not as fun as you think it is.) I get frustrated sometimes, too, and I think it's because of me that he won't come. I've brought it up several times and he told me it was just how he is, and has nothing to do with me. He said his ex girlfriend actually CRIED a few times because she thought that he didn't like her because of this same thing. I just have to be patient with him, and ask him what will get him off the best, and then keep at it. I know it gets a little tiring, especially if you're giving him oral, but if you really want to make him get there you have to be patient! And I agree that he probably still has performance anxiety. A month is a pretty short amount of time, so he probably hasn't gotten over trying really hard to impress you yet. And that would make any guy go limp!

07-20-2008, 12:35 AM	#3
mandyc Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Carolina Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 110	my olf bf was the same way. He was really easy to get off. And now it seems impossible...I know you said forever, but how long does it take your bf now?

07-20-2008, 12:43 AM	#4
bijoux27 Offline Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 1,180	Maybe he's just holding back.

07-29-2008, 01:04 PM	#6
pboy Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 154	hmmm... i try and hold back, because i want her to get hers. Thats just important to me i could always finish myself off later. but sometimes she'll help me cum after shes done. it felt insanely great the whole way through, but either i was holding back, or i was "desensitized" by prior masturbation

07-29-2008, 06:26 PM	#8
luckyyy Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 209	I was a virgin until I met my current SO. It took me a while to cum from us having sex. It was just lack of knowing what to do, it felt like I was putting in too much energy into the wrong parts of my body if that makes sense. After a while I would come every now and then and after a few months it was every time...good times

07-30-2008, 03:43 AM	#9
Anonymous122 Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 124	Whenever any relationship I am in becomes sexual, I have problems finishing for a couple months. I don't know why, I just do, and as I get more and more comfortable with the person, those problems go away. It's probably perfectly normal.