Need to get a room-mate ????

Fireman Sam · 07-12-2008, 03:39 PM

I have been seperated just 7 weeks and will be starting to hurt financially very soon with the mortgage, bills, etc.

I realize it hasn't been very long since she moved out...but when should I start looking for a room-mate. this will definetly help out with the finances. I live very close to a large university in SoCal.

This will probably make it very awkward for any reconsiliation (which I really want...but that might not happen anyway).
Getting a room-mate will also help with the moving on process as it will complete one more step in the closure process.

Should I discuss this with my ex??
This will definetly not be a plesent conversation for either of us to have. I don't know how long I should wait before I start going down this path.

Snoopy24 · 07-12-2008, 03:47 PM

I think, even if you do decide to work things out, it would be better to live seperatley for awhile anyway, so you can work though your issues that caused the breakup with some space.

That said, i think you should find a roommate right away if your are financially strapped.

Do you have any friends that would be interested that you can rely on to pay rent on time?

kaoticbaby · 07-12-2008, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snoopy24

I think, even if you do decide to work things out, it would be better to live seperatley for awhile anyway, so you can work though your issues that caused the breakup with some space.

That said, i think you should find a roommate right away if your are financially strapped.

Do you have any friends that would be interested that you can rely on to pay rent on time?

agree 100%

renaissancewoman101 · 07-12-2008, 03:52 PM

If you live close to a big university and you need a roommate, advertise in the college papers. When it gets closer to school starting, you should find a roommate, and most college kids are busy so, they won't always be around in your face. And maybe you can make a new friend.

Fireman Sam · 07-12-2008, 04:02 PM

I need to add the following.

This is both our house. We bought it together 8 yrs ago.

That's why I probably need to get her permission before getting anyone else to move in.

She might just say yes/no just to solidify her current choice. That may bite us in the ass if the situation changes.

renaissancewoman101 · 07-12-2008, 04:03 PM

If both your names are on the mortgage/deed then probably you would have to get her permission.

kaoticbaby · 07-12-2008, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fireman Sam

I need to add the following.

This is both our house. We bought it together 8 yrs ago.

That's why I probably need to get her permission before getting anyone else to move in.

She might just say yes/no just to solidify her current choice. That may bite us in the ass if the situation changes.

well that complicates things a bit. would you consider at least trying to get her to agree to selling the house all together, and then take that money to buy an apartment?

Fireman Sam · 07-12-2008, 04:11 PM

We have a lovely old craftsman bungalow that we have been renovating over the past few years.

I love my house and don't want to sell or move. It is central to all the freeways, the airport and to downtown SanDiego.

I never thought I would be in this position or have to make a decision like this.

Snoopy24 · 07-12-2008, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fireman Sam

I need to add the following.

This is both our house. We bought it together 8 yrs ago.

That's why I probably need to get her permission before getting anyone else to move in.

She might just say yes/no just to solidify her current choice. That may bite us in the ass if the situation changes.

Where is she staying now?

If BOTH of your names are on the lease, you need to ask her permission.

Since it is her house too, I think you guys need to sit down and talk and make a mutaul decision for what would be best to do.

renaissancewoman101 · 07-12-2008, 04:13 PM

can you buy out her portion of the house, so as to finally let that part of your life go, or are you hoping to reconcile down the line?

07-12-2008, 03:39 PM	#1
Fireman Sam Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SoCal Gender: Male Posts: 151	Need to get a room-mate ???? I have been seperated just 7 weeks and will be starting to hurt financially very soon with the mortgage, bills, etc. I realize it hasn't been very long since she moved out...but when should I start looking for a room-mate. this will definetly help out with the finances. I live very close to a large university in SoCal. This will probably make it very awkward for any reconsiliation (which I really want...but that might not happen anyway). Getting a room-mate will also help with the moving on process as it will complete one more step in the closure process. Should I discuss this with my ex?? This will definetly not be a plesent conversation for either of us to have. I don't know how long I should wait before I start going down this path.

07-12-2008, 03:47 PM	#2
Snoopy24 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: New York Gender: Female Posts: 1,622	I think, even if you do decide to work things out, it would be better to live seperatley for awhile anyway, so you can work though your issues that caused the breakup with some space. That said, i think you should find a roommate right away if your are financially strapped. Do you have any friends that would be interested that you can rely on to pay rent on time?

07-12-2008, 03:52 PM	#4
renaissancewoman101 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the land by the sea Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 8,563	If you live close to a big university and you need a roommate, advertise in the college papers. When it gets closer to school starting, you should find a roommate, and most college kids are busy so, they won't always be around in your face. And maybe you can make a new friend.

07-12-2008, 04:02 PM	#5
Fireman Sam Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SoCal Gender: Male Posts: 151	I need to add the following. This is both our house. We bought it together 8 yrs ago. That's why I probably need to get her permission before getting anyone else to move in. She might just say yes/no just to solidify her current choice. That may bite us in the ass if the situation changes.

07-12-2008, 04:03 PM	#6
renaissancewoman101 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the land by the sea Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 8,563	If both your names are on the mortgage/deed then probably you would have to get her permission.

07-12-2008, 04:11 PM	#8
Fireman Sam Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SoCal Gender: Male Posts: 151	We have a lovely old craftsman bungalow that we have been renovating over the past few years. I love my house and don't want to sell or move. It is central to all the freeways, the airport and to downtown SanDiego. I never thought I would be in this position or have to make a decision like this.

07-12-2008, 04:13 PM	#10
renaissancewoman101 Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the land by the sea Gender: Female Age: 36 Posts: 8,563	can you buy out her portion of the house, so as to finally let that part of your life go, or are you hoping to reconcile down the line?